Not Like Me

Not Like Me

By:  hchladybug1218  Completed
Language: English
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Ashley Tudor was once a talented ballet dancer until an unforeseen injury took her dreams away. Years later, Ashley finds herself bitter, broken, and without a boyfriend. When her junior year begins, she finds herself in the middle of two love interests Zander Hogan, her best friend's twin, and Aiden Buckland, a childhood friend. When ballet enters her life again, Ashley will need to figure out if chasing her dreams is worth breaking her heart.

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41 Chapters
Chapter 1: Zander
"Why is there a dead raccoon on the couch?" Brittany gasps."My dad just shot it before you walked in. And it's about time too. These damn trash pandas have been living in our attic for a month now. We called animal control, but no one's come over yet. So we had to take matters into our own hands," I say."Well, that's disgusting. I can't even look at you with that...thing lying there. Can we go into another room, at least?" Brittany Hogan, my best friend, she's the girliest girl I have ever met. Then there's me, Ashley Tudor, the tomboy. I ride dirt bikes, climb mountains, and read graphic novels. I'm the son my dad always wanted but never had."It's just a raccoon. Even Pocahontas from that Disney movie loves them.""Please, Ash? Can we not be here? That's the most fucking disgusting thing I've ever seen," Brittany complains."Yeah, sure, I was only teasing."Classic Brittany. Can't even take a joke."Are you coming to my birthday party this weekend?" Brittany asks."Don't you mean
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Chapter 2: Two Minutes in Heaven
"Brittany, I need to go home. I'm not feeling well," I lie. "Okay, well, see you tomorrow. We have a party to plan. And girls for you to keep away from Zander.""Bye, Brit."I leave Brittany's house. As I walk down the stairs, I see Zander sitting on the living room chair. The one where I just sat. "Are you going?" Zander asks."Yes, I'm not feeling well.""Can I walk you home?""Sure, " I hesitate. We both leave the house. Secretly I know Brittany would put me on trial for walking home with Zander. "Listen, Zander; you don't need to worry about me.""Well, someone needs to make sure you get home safely."We take a right, and I find myself on the secret path next to the garden again. Only this time, I'm alone with Zander. The boy I'm tasked with keeping all the girls away from. "Zander, why did you hold my hand?" I ask. "I don't know what you mean." "Never mind, forget it. Bye, Zander. I'm fine now. I'll take it from here, " I say. I walk away from Zander. Our hand-holding ear
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Chapter 3: Rocket
I head home from the party. Pretending nothing happened. For the first time in my life, I feel girly in every sense of the word. Even in my tomboy make-up-less state, Zander called me beautiful and wanted to kiss me. This has never happened to me before. I want to tell Brittany all about my kiss and the chemistry Zander and I have. It's magic. It's fire. And it's a damn secret. A secret I can't share with anyone other than Zander himself. I lie in my bed and play that moment in my head over and over again. I go over every detail of our kiss. And I feel stupid. This is stupid. It's stupid to kiss. Kissing is for adults and people in love. And that's not me, not no way, not no how. I fall asleep.In the middle of the night, I hear the sound of chattering. It's the goddamn raccoons again. It must be nice to be a raccoon and steal people's shit.There's an asshole male lead raccoon. I call him Rocket. His beta male counterpart is Meeko. Naming raccoons after famous ones doesn't make me
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Chapter 4: Drowning
School is a few weeks away. I haven't spoken with Zander or Brittany in a week. Instead, I've been helping my dad paint the house, rebuild his 1976 Corvette, and any other job my dad can come up with. "Are you okay, Ash?" Dad asks. "I guess so, " I say. "Well, it's summer, and as much as I enjoy spending time with you, you seem to be running away from something. Are you okay?" Dad asks."No, not really, " I confess. Crap, I didn't mean for that to slip out."Are you and Brittany fighting?" Dad asks."No, not exactly, " I admit."Are you and Zander okay? Did that boy do something to you?" Dad glares. "No, nothing. It's Zander we're talking about. As if...." I lie. "Well, that'd better be the case. You know how I feel about him, " Dad says. "Zander has a girlfriend anyway, " I say. "Oh, really? That boy is capable of being in a relationship?" Dad asks. "Not, really, dad. They make out a lot, " I reply. I think I've told my dad quite enough. "Well, dad, I think I'm gonna call,
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Chapter 5: The Spark
I pack my bags for the sleepover. My fuzzy slippers have made it to the bottom of my bag. I sneak in Oreos, Doritos, and Pepsi. Brittany will be happy to eat junk food. "Mom, I'm going over to Brittany's for a sleepover," I say. "Have fun, sweetie," mom says. I walk on the secret path towards the Hogan's house. I hear squeaking in the tree nearby. "Hello, Meeko, " I say. The dumbass raccoon looks at me. We know each other well. Rocket was an asshole. He's dead now. Meeko's the nicer one. I toss Meeko an oreo from my backpack. "Don't tell my dad, okay?" I say. Meeko chirps at me. I guess that's a promise. "Do you always feed raccoons?" Zander asks. "None of your business, " I say. Crap, I don't want to deal with Zander right now. His dumb bitch girlfriend nearly drowned me. "What's gotten into you?" He asks. "Zander, leave me alone," I yell. I'm humiliated that I thought we had a spark between us the other night. How stupid it was to kiss Zander in a game of seven minutes
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Chapter 6: The Movie
I fall asleep next to Zander. I've heard of teens sleeping with and next to each other. I never imagined that it could happen to me. The idea of sneaking around behind everyone's back is new to me. Are teens allowed to take naps next to each other? I guess I'll never know. There's a lot of things that are new to me. Being the worst friend to Brittany is sure to make the top list of my new and favorite vices. I wake up. It's 3 am, time to go back to Brittany's room and pretend I was never with Zander. We made out on his bed for two hours. His lips were soft and gentle. I can still feel them. I blush. I'm not ready to go back to Brit's room just yet. Going back will mean that this magic never happened. That his lips never touched mine. That our lips never made contacted. Zander is still sleeping. I lay my head on his chest and feel his heartbeat below my ear. It's steady. How can his heart be so calm, after we had an encounter like that? My heart keeps thumping like a war drum about t
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Chapter 7: The Fake Boyfriend
Two weeks pass. Zander and I text constantly. His words blow up my phone. He sends me memes. I send him photos. Our flirty correspondence has my stomach in knots. We all know Brittany. She's a bitch when she wants to be. She would bitch about this.Being with Zander would be fun, on edge, and flirting with danger. We've all seen the Lion King, like Simba, I too, laugh in the face of danger. Ha-ha-ha-ha!! I head to the mall by myself. I'm tired of going with Brittany. The truth is, being around Brittany is hard. She lives with Zander and tells me all his masculine habits that bother her. When she tells me, I picture them in great detail and get distracted. No, not today. Today it's me, myself, and I at the mall. Yes sir!! Just me. I slam the break of my car and look through my windshield. For fucks sake. Aiden Buckland. The sexy jock, I haven't seen him since the pool party. He's Zander's best friend or was. They had a falling out, and truth be told, I'm not sure where their friends
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Chapter 8: Loser Like Me
What in the world am I thinking? Falling for Zander? He's out of my reach. He is out of my grasp. Yet, I want nothing more than to be by his side. I am not sure why in seven hells, I decided to date Aiden. I mean, I know we aren't dating. We are two people who are pretending. Is pretense okay? I sometimes wonder if there is a law disregarding these things. Is there an issue? Falling for someone totally and completely. My best friend told me, 'no,' he is 'off-limits' because she is his sister. She's selfish. I know the party was supposed to be fun. But keeping girls away from Zander was hard. I didn't want to keep myself away from him. I suppose I have always had a useless crush on him. He isn't a bad guy. He's athletic and smart. He's brave and ruthless. He's everything perfect in masculine form. So my desire to honor Brit is strong. And it sucks. It sucks more than any straw I have ever placed my lips on. I want to be a good friend. However, I feel like this relationship is one-
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Chapter 9: From A to Z
A week goes by. Three more days and the start of my junior year will commence. I'm not the sort of girl who wants to fall in love with two boys. I am pretending with Aiden Buckland. He makes my breath stop. But he's not the one for me. We have only been on one date so far. The parameters of our dating seem endless. I think he wants to go to all the bases with me. He's a guy, so it must be true. My parents would flip knowing my plans. Little tomboy Ash is turning into somebody. I hope all the nobodies notice me. I notice them. My phone buzzes and beeps. It's Aiden. Aiden: Hey you. Me: Hey.Aiden: We haven't been on a date in a while. Want to get food? Me: Sure. Pizza? Aiden: Always. How's 6:30? Me: Sounds good. Aiden: Want to go to my soccer game? Me: When? Aiden: Tomorrow at 7? Me: Sure. Aiden: There will be lots of people there. You can wear one of my hoodies if you'd like. Me: Aww, sure. Aiden: ByeMe: Bye. My insides are mourning. Wishing deep down that these texts we
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Chapter 10: Pretend or Real?
Zander Hogan's text message beeps on my bed. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm torn between two boys. I am excited to be with Aiden. Our date involves food. I like watching him eat. The sweat pours from his body when he eats. I lust after Aiden. I know I do. All the girls fond over the Adonis that he is. He is chiseled in stone. The gods handcraft him. I decide to put on one of my mom's sundresses. I'm still avoiding Brit. Aiden is my surprise. I am excited to have a surprise to show everyone. He will be a great asset to my womanhood. I sound like a tool again. Now I'm the man-eater. And damn, it feels good to be shallow and lusted after for once. Aiden needs a girl on his arm. And now I'm that girl-the product of lust and longing. So, Aiden, here I come. The sundress stretches and is hot. It's blue with stars. My red hair bounces on my shoulders. Dresses are not like me. Only when I danced ballet did I dress up. Now I am lost in the void of womanhood. I don't know who I a
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