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31.
Ronan had cried because O'Connell had broken his heart. Said he didn't love him. And that all the times they had made love and everything, that it was Jeremy O'Connell thought about.
O'Connell wanted to stop himself from feeling terrible, but he couldn't help it. He had hurt Ronan, a boy who truly loved him and it was affecting him deeply. Cutting sharp into him like knives.
It was unbearable, completely making him fell like a horrible person, and leaving his mind troubled.
"Why did you act like you loved me, why? Why the fuck did you give me false hopes!?" Ronan yelled, causing passerbys to turn and then threw him curious looks. But he didn't even care. The boy who he loved just broken his heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces.
"Ronan, I thought you said you could never love anyone. That you could never get tied down to anyone? So I figured it was best to not catch any feelings for you. So it's not even my fault." O'Connell tried to m
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O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 32.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me this? You fucking knew you were going to leave. And you kept it away from me!" This was Ronan, roaring in anger. Something which made O'Connell flinched. "How could you do this? How could you? Fucking telling me a day to the day, you're to return back to Nigeria." Ronan was pacing back and forth in an aggressive manner, that O'Connell moved farther away from him. Scared he was going to pounce on him, and beat his ass. "I was scared to let you know, okay? I didn't expect to find love in London, after getting my heart broken in Nigeria, three months ago." O'Connell opened up, shoving his fists into his pockets as he looked around him in sadness. Because he knew he was never going to see there again. And Ronan instantly snapped his head back, to look at O'Connell in disappointment. Then he shook his head. "How can you even say that?" "Because it's the truth." O'Connell supplied, after taking a hard dry gulp, feeling pain
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 33.
Continuation of flashback O'Connell snapped his eyes back to Ronan's, just in time to catch his eyes. Eyes that had been on him all those while he had been lost in his thoughts. Ronan had watched him in silence, and he wanted to know what was going on in his mind as well. But he wasn't staring at O'Connell like he wanted to sleep with him. He was looking at O'Connell with care. Like O'Connell was someone who had a special place in his heart. O'Connell saw Ronan's hand moving, and then he placed it untop his. He wondered why Ronan did that. Because Ronan was beginning to make him feel things he didn't want to feel. Things only Jeremy made hum feel. But this time, Ronan's was different, and O'Connell was afraid it was stronger as well. O'Connell gave Ronan a curious look, wordlessly asking him what he was up to. But Ronan chose to remain silent, and then caressed O'Connell's hand. Making him feeling the heat that was radiating from his warm bi
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 34.
O'Connell knew he did the right thing, by choosing to walk out of Ronan's life. Not that he had a choice anyway. And inspite of his heart being sick, guilt still stung him deeply for what he had done.He knew Ronan was already hurting because of him. Then thought about how easily Ronan would forget him, because Ronan already had multiple sexual partners.Ronan had told him when they were just friends, that he could never stick to just one person.Ronan was only inlove with him, but didn't leave the numerous men and women in his life. He still carried on with his relationship with them. Something which had made O'Connell to feel really insecure, back in London.And on the contract, O'Connell thought it was good things ended between them. Because he could no longer contain that feeling of not being the only one. He was quite relieved on that part.But Ronan had thought him alot. A whole lot.Thought him how to sex, how to exp
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 35.
O'Connell woke up and found himself at the hospital, with Raymond who had a worried facial expression, staring into an empty space.O'Connell took a hard dry gulp that it almost hurt, and then he raised his hand up to touch his head. There he felt a bandage.Something which reminded him of the treacherous hitting, he suffered from his own mother, just because she was having negative thoughts about him. Especially when she saw him with a boy."I can't stay with mom anymore." O'Connell's told Raymond this. And his words Suddenly pulled Raymond out from his own thoughts.On seeing O'Connell awake, Raymond blew out a breath, then propped his hand under his chin."I've been thinking about this too. Your mom seems to be getting worse each passing day. And it's not safe for you to live with her anymore."In as much as it hurt to hear this, O'Connell knew he needed to man up. It was time for him to start making his own decisions, because
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 36.
"Do you want to go back to London? Your grandma Estella would agree to that, if I talk to her." Raymond suggested after a long pause of thinking. And O'Connell was forced to let his thoughts travel back to London.***He found himself watching the boys, and felt his face forming into a slight scowl when the teenage girls left their table to go meet the boys, and flirt with them openly. He couldn't help staring, as the three girls sat down with these boys, smiling widely. With a waitress hovering around their table, taking their orders.One of the girls, flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, as she talked to the one with black hair in a pony tail, and lip piercing. Her eyes lit up, as she carried on staring at him with admiration. Not even feeling ashamed that she was making a fool of her self, which made her seem cheap.O'Connell thought about how life was, in Nigeria. Of course it was fun. He cou
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 37.
So O'Connell, after finally getting his biological father's picture and name from his mom's safe, he started off his journey to go in search of his father. With the help of his Grandma Estella, who help flew him out of Nigeria to Drogheda, Ireland.The place seem cool, and people barely paid attention to him. Because he was like them too. His hair, his skin color. And he felt a tad better and didn't feel out of place anymore.It was hard to find his father, because he was all alone in somewhere he had never been before. He just had the name and photo of his dad. And it was really hard for him. Being sixteen and all alone in Ireland with just his backpack, and important items inside the backpack.He had blocked Raymond and his mom's numbers from calling him. Having decided that it was high time he start making decisions for himself.
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 38.
After searching for his dad, for a week, O'Connell finally found someone who claimed he knew where O'Connell's dad was.O'Connell began wondering how his father would act, after seeing him. He had only seen a picture of his father, when the man was eighteen or so. And the color of the picture was black and white. The man's name was Adolphus.O'Connell's mother had lied she had a one night stand, with some stranger in Ireland, when she went visiting , and had no idea she was pregnant until she came back to Nigeria.The man horned and it interrupted O'Connell from his mind traveling down that memory lane. It seemed like he had zoned out throughout the drive on the streets. Because he was currently in the man's car, and they were heading to his dad's place.And at that moment, they were right in front of a huge black gate."Is this where my dad lives?" O'Connell asked, turning to look at the man.And the man replied him with just a firm nod.
O'Connell (Mending His Heart) 39.
How would his family take this? Does he have a wife? Does he have kids? How would they all look at me? What if I get seen as an enemy and gets rejected?That would be if he had a family. O'Connell thought.He closed his eyes, then let out a big puff of breath. Wanting so hard to stop himself from feeling that way.Closing the car door shut at his side, he curled his fingers into fists then clenched them hard. That he could detect slight cracking sounds from them, with his ear.He was beginning to wonder if he made the wrong decision by coming over to meet his dad, who was a total stranger to him.As they made their way into the house, O'Connell was awed by it. It was so high and wide with beautiful deco and modern expensive looking furnitures. The house spoke of wealth. There were big beefy body guards, surrounding the house. Plus the security guards were up to five.O'Connell began wondering if his dad was someone drug Lord or mafia. And th
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