chapter one- THE Night Before we broke our rule

Chicago had a way of making loneliness louder.

Ava Carter learned that on a cold October night, standing alone at the bar of a downtown hotel, nursing a drink she did not want. She had come for a work conference. In and out. No emotions. No memories.

Then she saw him.

Ethan Carter.

Her ex-husband.

Time did not erase him. It refined him. The boyish softness was gone, replaced by something heavier, something worn. His hair was slightly longer than she remembered, his jaw rough with stubble, his shoulders carrying a weight she knew too well.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

Years collapsed into seconds.

Their last fight flashed in her mind. Raised voices. Silence. The door closing behind him. The sound of her own heart breaking while she pretended she was fine.

“Ava…” he said quietly, as if afraid saying her name too loudly might make her disappear.

She hated how her body reacted. The tightening in her chest. The warmth that rushed through her veins. The familiarity that felt like home and danger at the same time.

“Ethan,” she replied, steady on the outside, unraveling within.

They did not hug. They did not smile. They stood inches apart like strangers bound by history too painful to touch.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Conference,” he answered. “You?”

She nodded. “Same.”

A pause.

“I didn’t know you still came to Chicago,” he said.

“I didn’t know you still existed,” she replied before she could stop herself.

The words were sharp, but he deserved them. He only nodded, jaw tightening.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked.

She should have said no.

She should have walked away.

Instead, she said, “One.”

They talked like people relearning a language they once spoke fluently. Safe topics. Work. Travel. Life after divorce. They avoided the words us, why, what if.

But the space between them kept shrinking.

At some point, his knee brushed hers. Accidentally. Or not.

Her breath hitched.

“Do you ever think about it?” he asked suddenly.

She knew what he meant.

“All the time,” she whispered.

Silence fell heavy between them, charged and dangerous.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” Ava said, more to herself than to him. “We’re not doing this again.”

“I know,” Ethan said. “Just tonight.”

Just tonight.

Those words were a lie they both wanted to believe.

When they stood to leave, she followed him to the elevator without thinking. The doors closed. The air changed. His hand brushed hers, hesitant, asking permission without words.

She did not pull away.

In the hallway, outside his room, reality finally caught up with them.

“We can still stop,” she said, voice trembling.

He stepped closer, resting his forehead against hers. “Tell me to walk away, and I will.”

She did not tell him.

That night, they did not rush. They moved like people afraid the moment would shatter if touched too hard. Old memories surfaced in quiet laughter, in shared glances, in the way he still knew how to hold her like she mattered.

And when morning came, Ava lay awake beside him, staring at the ceiling, her heart breaking all over again.

Because one night had never been enough.

And this time, walking away might destroy them both.

Ava woke to silence.

Not the peaceful kind. The kind that presses against your chest and reminds you that something has already gone wrong.

The room was unfamiliar in daylight. Gray curtains. A city skyline blurred by rain. She lay still for a moment, listening to the slow rhythm of breathing beside her.

Ethan.

Memory rushed back in fragments. His voice in the dark. The way he had looked at her like she was still his wife. The way she had let herself believe, just for one night, that nothing else existed.

She turned slightly, watching him sleep.

He looked softer like this. Vulnerable. The man she married. Not the one who left.

Her chest tightened.

This was a mistake.

A beautiful, devastating mistake.

She slipped out of bed quietly, dressing without waking him. Her hands shook as she buttoned her blouse. She told herself it meant nothing. That adults were allowed to make bad decisions and move on.

At the door, she paused.

She wanted to leave a note.

She didn’t.

When she reached the elevator, her phone buzzed.

Ethan: Please don’t disappear again.

Her breath caught.

She typed back before she could think.

Ava: Last night doesn’t change anything.

The reply came instantly.

Ethan: It changed everything for me.

She closed her eyes as the elevator doors slid open.

They did not speak for two days.

Then three.

Then he showed up.

Ava had just returned to her apartment in Lincoln Park when she saw him across the street, leaning against his car like a man waiting for judgment.

“You can’t just come here,” she said, heart racing.

“I can,” he replied quietly. “Because you won’t answer my calls.”

She crossed her arms. “Because this was supposed to be one night.”

“And was it?” he asked.

She had no answer.

“I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you,” Ethan said. “I left because I thought I was failing you.”

The words hit harder than any accusation.

“You don’t get to rewrite history,” Ava whispered. “You walked away when I needed you most.”

“I know,” he said. “And I’ve hated myself for it every day since.”

Her eyes burned.

She wanted to forgive him.

She was terrified to try.