Chapter 9

I didn’t speak. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t look at him. The moment felt too personal and we were nowhere near being that with one another.

“Brees, you don’t have to say anything. I get it if it's weird that your ex watches your games in a totally different state. I didn’t mean to creep you out,” he said.

“But it doesn’t. You don’t. I’m truly flattered. I can’t believe you really watch me. Keegan. Mr. Football himself, taking the time to watch me play,” I said.

Being in his arms like this was not good for my heart. Before I could make an excuse to break away, he pointed to the corner booth. Casey and Cyman were kissing. It wasn’t gross making out. It was intentional, beautiful kisses. His embrace was filled with love and she was allowing it to encompass her. Things were looking up for those two. I wanted them to be a family so badly. Wren deserved to have a father.

“Hey, the song is over. Brees? Brees? You okay?” Keegan asked, as I watched my friend get back her happiness.

I remembered that feeling. That feeling of love, of being wanted, of being with your soul mate. I hadn’t felt that with Tate, but I knew I would eventually.

“Oh, sorry. It’s so nice to see them together. It’s very nostalgic. It makes me think of old times with…” I didn’t finish my statement. My eyes met his.

“You can say Jeff’s name, Brees. I won’t break. I promise,” he joked.

“I wasn’t going to say his name. I was going to say yours,” I said, training my eyes on him.

“Oh. Brees, I uh, don’t really know what to do or say in this situation. It’s not awkward, I swear. However, it does feel very uncomfortable,” he said.

“I didn’t want you to say anything. We happened. We were together. I can’t go on denying that forever Keegan. I’m sorry I haven’t reached out or seen you in years. I’ve really missed your face. I was just so hurt and couldn’t face you,” I said, putting my head down and walking towards the bathroom hallway.

I needed to get my bearings and take a breath. This had been overwhelming and I hadn’t expected it. As I reached for the bathroom door, someone grabbed my wrist. I was whipped around quickly.

“Brees, you have to stop shutting me out. We can do this. We can be friends. It doesn’t have to be final for us. Our moms are married after all. You’re kind of my sister now,” he said, shaking his head.

I looked at him with a scowl. He was still holding my wrist. I wish he hadn’t followed me. I was getting that warm and tingly feeling around him that I used to get when I had a crush. I wanted it to go away as quickly as it had come.

“I can’t do this right now Keegan. I’m not upset with you. I just need a minute,” I pleaded.

“I understand. I’ll be out here if you want to still hang. I’m going to find Baylen and grab him some drinks. I am sorry if I made this awkward,” he said, lifting my chin and looking right into my eyes.

“It’s not. I am fine. I’m just going to go call Tate and see if I can get a time for his arrival Saturday,” I said, going into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My makeup was starting to smudge, so I freshened up. After that, I took out my phone and called Tate. It went to voicemail. I started to text him, but received one from him before I could finish.

“Doll, let me call you tomorrow. I’m so exhausted from work today. They are really putting the load on since it’s our last week,” the text read.

I leaned against the sink and texted back, “Kk, love you.”

Three dots started, but then stopped. He didn’t even say it back. He always says he loves me back. I knew he was tired though, so I let it slide.