Chapter 14.1

I can't think of a reason why I deserve to feel this kind of pain. Why all people, it has to be me? All my life, all I wanted was to have a peaceful, happy and contented family. And I want to experience it with Auden. He was the only one I loved my whole life, no one else. With him, I experienced the thrill, the joy, and the hurt of this.

Auden is the reason why I want to live longer. I wanted to be with him until his hair turned gray. I want to hold his hand when we are old. I want to be the one beside him through his ups and downs.

I want to blame my heart because it loved someone I can't love back.

My walks gradually slowed as I got away from them. I could feel my knees are shaking, as if I were a wet notes now because of my stupidity. I hugged myself as the wind blew which caused me goosebumps. My lips were trembling. I felt the large drops of rain touching my skin.

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