Chapter 4

Christmas Day was also the last day of my life.

At six that morning, Mother knocked on my bedroom door. She came in carrying some old clothes and dropped them onto my bed.

"We're moving today, and there's the Christmas party to prepare for. We're short on staff, so go down to the kitchen and butcher those deer. Bettina can't stand the smell of blood, so hurry up and get it done. Then we can all enjoy Christmas together."

With that, she left. I sat on the bed, staring at the clothes.

In the past, just hearing that I'd get to spend Christmas with the family would have been enough to make me eager to help. But now, I had nothing left to look forward to.

I changed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Several deer carcasses hung in the walk-in cooler, their eyes still open. I grabbed a knife and got to work skinning and gutting them.

Halfway through, a sharp pain ripped through my stomach. I braced myself against the wall and threw up a mouthful of dark blood. Clutching my chest, I waited for the pain to subside before going back to work.

My phone buzzed with a notification from the family group chat.

Bettina had posted a photo of herself in a white evening gown, standing beside a piano.

The caption read, "It's my Christmas party tonight! See you all there!"

Replies quickly flooded the chat.

"Bettina looks gorgeous!"

"Our Principessa is growing more elegant by the day!"

I turned my phone face down and went back to work.

By noon, the driveway outside the estate was packed with cars. Through the kitchen window, I could see the family gathered around Bettina.

She wore a custom-made gown that trailed across the snow as she smiled sweetly at everyone.

Mother straightened the fabric around her waist while Father stood by the car, holding the door open for her himself.

As the convoy was getting ready to leave, Bettina glanced toward the kitchen and covered her nose. "Alessia, you smell like blood. Just stay here and watch the old estate."

She smoothed her skirt, looking thoroughly disgusted. "I don't want you putting my guests off their food."

Mother glanced over, her eyes settling on my bloodstained sleeves. "Clean up the kitchen and wash yourself properly. I don't want the place smelling of blood. I'll have someone bring you Christmas dinner."

One by one, the cars disappeared down the mountain road, their headlights fading into the distance. The huge estate fell silent. There wasn't a single voice to be heard anywhere.

I took off my old, bloodstained jacket. The fabric had dried stiff, and it landed on the floor with a dull thud.

I went into the living room and sank onto the couch, letting my arms hang over the armrests.

Outside, heavy snow had covered the mountain road. Darkness was settling in, and the fire in the fireplace was nearly out.

Then the pain in my stomach returned, worse than ever. I curled up as blood rose in my throat and spilled onto the carpet. Without thinking, I reached down and wiped it away.

Just then, my phone rang on the coffee table. The name "Mamma" appeared on the screen.

I stared at the name, remembering how I'd wrapped my arms around her waist and called her Mamma when I was little. She used to stroke my hair and tell me I was the best-behaved daughter in the family.

But I hadn't heard her say anything like that in years. I couldn't even remember what it felt like when she stroked my hair.

The phone started ringing for a second time. I wiped the blood from my lips and answered.

"Alessia! Toby's missing! Are you upset because we left you at the old estate? Did you hide him on purpose before we left?"

Mother didn't even bother with a greeting. She went straight to accusing me, her voice sharp with impatience.

I could hear people talking and laughing in the background. I leaned against the couch, the lights around me growing blurry. "Mamma, aren't you even going to ask if I'm still alive?"

She went quiet for a moment. "Are you still pretending to be sick? Are you really trying to ruin Christmas for everyone? Just tell me where the dog is! Otherwise, don't expect us to come back and get you!"

Then I heard Bettina exclaim in the background. "Mamma! Toby just came out from under the rug! He was hiding because he didn't get a Christmas present! Tell Alessia to buy him something and bring it over to make him happy."

Mother immediately agreed, then turned her attention back to me, her tone softening. "You heard her. Go buy Toby a present and bring it over. Hurry up."

I listened to the laughter and cheerful chatter coming through the phone.

I managed a bitter smile. "I'm not bringing anything."

The call ended. I removed the SIM card from my phone and tossed them both into the fireplace. Then I lay down on the living room carpet.

This was where Father had once told me they'd found me in a dumpster. I'd been six years old, and I'd cried my eyes out. But now, I was too numb to care.

I stared up at the chandelier as my vision slowly blurred. It felt like life was slowly draining out of me.

My eyelids grew heavier. I closed my eyes.

At last, I wouldn't have to try so hard to please anyone ever again.