Prologue

She learnt what it meant to suck in belly at age 10.

It was a Saturday and she was going to the park with her family. Her sister came into her room all dressed up like the cinderalla she was.

"Kunmi, you're still not dressed? It's like you don't want to go to the park with us." 

"My gown..." 

She trailed off as her sister left the room without even a backward glance. She tried putting on the gown once again but it got stucked on her chest and she couldn't even wear it pass her chest.

After series of trials and with the state of almost suffocation, she gave up and pulled the dress over her head. She sat down, staring at her stupid, fat and ugly body.

Why can't I just have a nice stature like my sister's?

"Oluwabukunmi, it's time oo. Let's go."

She heard her mother's voice but she remained where she was. She couldn't even bear to stand up. 

"Kunmi, won't you..."

Her mother's voice trailed off when she saw the mess of the floor. She closed the door behind her.

Most of her clothes were on the floor. She had tried all of them on and none sized her again. Even the new ones that are not yet six months' old. She'd outgrown them all.

"Oya, pick up that gown." Her mother ordered sternly while pointing to the last gown she tried to put own.

"Now wear it." She commanded and Kunmi shuddered because she recognized the new tone. It was the no nonsense tone. She picked it up and tried to put it on. It got stucked and her mother walked closer to her, grabbed the first cloth on her body and started pulling and pulling. 

"Oya, suck in your belly. Suck it in! I keep telling you to watch what you eat but no, you drink carbonated drinks at will and you eat enormous meal, 30 year old wouldn't even finish. Look at your sister. Just look at her and look at you, so we have to waste money buying new clothes for you every month, abi?"

She felt tears in her eyes and she bit her lips from crying. She didn't want to cry, at least not again and definitely not in front of her mother. 

Finally, her mother pulled the dress down and she moved back, smiling at her handiwork.

"Now see, you look like a princess. Now, let's go." 

And she turned and walked out through the door. Kunmi released her stomach and immediately she did that, she heard ripples of tread tearing. She sucked her belly in again as she tried to walk by carefully placing a step in front of the other. She looked comical walking like someone who had something in the anus.

She did not know when she started to cry. 

She hated herself. 

Hated her fat face. 

Hated her fat thighs. 

Hated her whole body. 

                             

  *********

10 years old Adams

He was drawing at the balcony of his room when he heard the door of his room opened. He knew it was his mom even turning back. 

"My baby."

His mother said, once she got to him, running her hands through his curly hair. He smiled to himself. He loved it when she did that even though he wasn't going to let her know. 

"You're drawing... Me?" 

She asked after staring at the white sheet in front of him. 

"Yes mummy."

"Wow, my baby. Thanks a lot."

He groaned and he stopped drawing. 

"I'm not a baby. I'm 10 years old. I'm almost a man." 

His mother's mouth dropped opened. 

"You'll always be my baby."

She said and kissed him on both cheeks. He loved when she did that too but he was going to allow her to know. 

"Oya, continue drawing mom. Let me see."

He picked up the pencil when they heard his father's car drive in. His mother straigtened. 

"Omolara!!!"

That was his father's voice and he inwardly groaned at the intensity of his voice. His mother bent down to his level. 

"Keep drawing mom, okay? Don't come of the room no matter what. Just stay and I would be back in the jiffy of an eye." 

He nodded, like he always. 

He heard his mother walked downstairs. 

He heard his father yelled at his mother. 

He could barely make out what his mother said. 

He heard his father unbuckled his belt. 

He held the sound as it hit his mother's skin. 

He heard his mother's whispers. 

He heard his as her screams turned to loud yells. 

He kept drawing like she instructed him to.