Neither one had brought up Jaxsen’s slip of calling him ‘Daddy’, nor did Jaxsen repeat it. Sebastian longed to hear that word toward him again, and until such time he would wait patiently, if with an aching heart. He sighed to himself knowing that before it would happen again or ever on a regular basis, he would have to confess things kept close to his soul.
“What’s for dinner?” Jaxsen asked as he grabbed his favorite Snapple from the fridge and a Granny Smith apple from a bowl on the counter before sitting down at the kitchen table.
Nizhoni laughed. “Steak, corn, potatoes and macaroni and cheese,” she said as she set his snack of rice pudding in front of him. Jaxsen dipped his apple into it with a satisfied smile. Sebastian made a face at Jaxsen&rsq
When Jaxsen awoke he was aware of two things: it was much brighter in his room than it should be and the date. November twenty-first. Today he was nine years old. He had mixed feelings about today. After he woke he wondered why Sebastian hadn’t made him get up for school. Nizhoni, who moved in almost two weeks ago, hadn’t roused him, either. He frowned, pondering. His two previous birthdays were nothing to be remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut against the memories that threatened to overwhelm.Dispelling the flooding images, he crawled from bed realizing that he was hungry. He came downstairs to find Nizhoni sitting alone on the couch reading Moby Dick. She smiled brightly upon seeing him, setting aside the hard back. He smiled sleepily in return and rubbing his eyes he crawled into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. He sighed
“Hey, babe,” Sebastian said to Nizhoni when he came through the door a couple of weeks after Jaxsen’s birthday. He tenderly kissed her. “Where’s Jack?” he asked looking around, a bit more than a little disappointed when he hadn’t come running.It was Thursday, December fifth. He had noticed Jaxsen’s change in demeanor once December began. Still, he had always greeted him with big hugs, especially on the days that he couldn’t pick him up from school.Nizhoni looked up. “His room. He went straight there when we got home. He hasn’t spoken since I picked him up and he hasn’t come down. Something happened today. I tried, but he wouldn’t talk. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”“Think it’s just the time of year?”
When Sebastian stood from the bed Jaxsen reached out for him, never once doubting that his request would be reciprocated. Sebastian picked him up, hugging him close.“I love you, Bastian.”Sebastian smiled, his eyes close to tearing up. “I love you, too, Jaxsen.” He smiled again before placing Jaxsen on his feet.“You want me to help you pick this all up?” Sebastian pointed to the contents of the little red shoe box scattered across the mattress.“No, I can do it.”Sebastian nodded. Truth be told he didn’t want to leave him yet and was fishing for an excuse to stay. “Okay. I’ll meet you downstairs, then.”
Nizhoni came home a quarter of an hour before midnight. The lights were turned low and the house was quiet. Sebastian left the entrance light on and enough light everywhere else for her to be able to see without having to run her hands along the walls to guide her. She walked into the living room and smiled as Sebastian looked up from a novel he was currently engrossed in. Jaxsen still took up residence in his lap, his head nestled in the hollow of Sebastian’s shoulder and clavicle, similar to the position he’d fallen asleep in a couple hours previous.“Hi,” she whispered, dropping a long kiss to his lips.“Hi, beautiful.”Nizhoni blushed, as she always did when he called her beautiful. In all her life Sebastian Green was the only one she ever truly believed. Even to this day she
Jaxsen scanned the mass of children in the school yard, eyes scanned the various faces that adorned his classmates.“…but that’s when…hey, are you listening?” Basil followed Jaxsen’s gaze not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Who are you looking for?”“Melissa,” he answered as his eyes continued to curiously look for that one face in many. He’d been searching for the better part of their free time.“She didn’t come out with everyone else.”Jaxsen looked at his friend. “Where did she go?”Basil shrugged and finished off his crème puff. “I didn’t see her go anywhere. I didn’t see her stand up from the t
Jaxsen sat up and smiled for the first time that day with a small giggle jailbreaking from his vocals. “She kissed me on the cheek, Bastian!” he exclaimed, playfully punching him on the shoulder.“Oh, sure, you say that now,” Sebastian teased. “Tell me then, Mr. Michaels, why are you turning all red in the face, huh? You look like a little cherry tomato.” Sebastian poked him lightly on the nose.Jaxsen glared but it soon melted into a smile. Sebastian smiled back, glad he could make his boy laugh. “I’m glad you made a new friend, Jack. And I want to tell you I’m very proud of you.”Jaxsen blushed again, grinned, and looked down. “I didn’t do anything, really,” he denied with a shrug, the blush spreading across his neck and under his shirt.
The next time Jaxsen woke it was light out. The bedside clock read 8:45. He woke feeling warm and safe, though the dark cloud of ‘Death Day’ had fully settled over him. He curled up further into Sebastian wanting simply not to exist.“Hey, sweet boy,” Sebastian greeted gently in a consolatory tone. Jaxsen was surprised that he was awake. If he’d already woken, why hadn’t he gotten up for the day?“Hi, Bastian.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked up.“Sleep alright?”Jaxsen shook his head and looked away. “No. Not really.”Sebastian slid his fingers through the boy’s golden locks. “Yeah, neither did I.”
For three hours Sebastian held the boy close to him, wiping his tears and doing his best to coax Jaxsen back to the now and bring him from whatever visions had him for the moment arrested and detained in the past. Sebastian sat up, needing to try something-anything-to snap Jaxsen out of the pits of his mind. Jaxsen did not move to move away nor did he attempt in any way to keep his balance atop Sebastian’s lap. He was completely limp and if he didn’t know better, Sebastian would have thought the boy to be sound asleep. Sebastian maneuvered the child to where he was straddling his lap.“Jaxsen?” Sebastian placed his left palm against Jaxsen’s right cheek. “Jack, please answer me.” Jaxsen gave him no sign that he’d even heard him speak. There was just a blank mask covering his face. Tears slowly fell completely unnoticed by the eyes that cried them. &ldqu