Passionate Mistake (English)

Positive

*click*

I positioned my body for another pose. I tilted my head while flashing a seductive look. I slightly opened my mouth and cocked my body towards the camera.

*click*

“Great job, Cian! Now move closer to your partner!”

I lifted my gaze to Jacob. He pulled me softly ‘til our bodies touched. I cleared my throat when a memory flashed through my mind.

I am wearing Ivory’s main design for her lingerie brand which will be released next month. I will be the cover for a magazine for next month’s issue too.

I put my hand on Jacob’s veined arms as I stare at him.

“Show some passion and desire, you two!”

He pulled me closer to him as he let out a soft sigh. He smirked at me. I pushed him lightly when we were done.

“Not in the mood?” He grinned playfully.

We both faced the camera at the same time.

“Nope,” I rolled my eyes as we did another pose.

“Then... can you join the party later?”

I did not answer. I am still thinking if it’s a good idea to drink after this. Because the last time I partied and got drunk... something terrible happened.

“Elize and Maisie will be there, too. They always asked me when you can find time to see them.”

I have not been myself the past few days, I admit that. I felt guilty when he mentioned my friends.

“Cian, turn your back slightly from Jacob. Jake hold her waist from behind,” Lance commanded.

He went behind me slowly. His hands touched slightly and caressed my bare skin. I gasped when I couldn’t ignore the flow of memories anymore.

I feel the familiar sensation I felt with that man’s touch that night. Every whisper, every kiss, every touch. They all come to me like a whirlwind.

I shut my eyes tightly to ease the memories. But the more I close my eyes, the more they became vivid.

“You’re mine. Mine alone,” he whispered dangerously against my ear as he claimed me over and over again.

I removed Jacob’s hand on my waist drastically. My eyes widened with what I did and went back from my reverie.

“I-I’m sorry. C-Can we take a quick break?”

“O-Oh sure. Let’s take a fifteen-minute break,” Lance said still dumbfounded by what I did. He quietly put down his camera.

My assistant went to me in haste. I covered myself with the robe and sat on the chair intended for me. She handed me a bottle of water that I drank without hesitation.

This is not me, I kept telling myself. I am always professional when it comes to my work. I don’t let my issues affect it in any way. But why is it so hard to do right now?

I massaged my temple as I tried to contemplate what I did. What would all these people think because of what I did especially Ivory? She trusted me with this and I can’t let her down. I won’t.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Jacob’s worried voice woke me up from my trance.

“Yup. I’m sorry, I’m just tired.”

I managed to pull off the shoot even when my mind is in complete chaos. My mind would always go back to what happened that night and it was frustrating. I decided to go to the after-party, too. Thinking that would divert my attention and thoughts.

“We thought you wouldn’t come!” Maisie exclaimed when she saw me grace my way toward their table.

Jacob’s also there together with his friends. I smiled at them and hugged them both.

“Jacob said you don’t feel well,” Elize said as she watched me closely.

I rolled my eyes and turned my gaze to Jacob who was at another table. My head hurts a little with the flickering lights. I guess I am not that used to this anymore, huh? When it was just a month ago since the last time I got drunk. That mere thought brought back fragmented memories.

*A month ago*

“I hate you,” I whispered against his lips.

“You’re seriously saying that when I can feel you trembling with my every touch,” he smirked darkly and claimed my lips for a painful kiss.

I moaned in pain and pleasure as he pushed me against the wall.

*End of flashback*

“Cian? Are you okay? You don’t look well.”

I snapped back to reality when Elize said that. I smiled at both of them to assure them I’m fine.

“Yeah, yeah. Of course, I just remembered something,” I smiled.

We started drinking. I tried my best to remove those thoughts from my head. That’s what I should do. And that’s the right thing to do.

We were in the middle of talking and I am on my second glass of tequila when my vision went blurry. Then I became nauseous. I saw the worried and shocked faces of my friends but that’s the least of my concern now!

I hurried to the restroom and vomited. My head spun for a minute after vomiting. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, dumbfounded. I am not even tipsy yet and I am just in my second glass of drink. I can’t get drunk that fast!

A thought flashed in my mind which I dismissed quickly. No, no. I can’t possibly be... damn it! No way!

Then I remembered I haven’t had my period for more than a month now. My heart pounded out of fear and anxiety. I tried to calm myself when I heard my friends calling me outside the cubicle. I smiled at them, with no trace of severe dizziness and vomiting.

“Cian! What happened? Are you okay?” Maisie asked, almost hysterical.

“You know what? I already noticed it earlier. You don’t look okay. Are you sick?” Elize asked sharply.

I chuckled.

“Girls, I’m fine okay? Maybe I just ate something bad. It’s nothing serious,” I smiled at them and washed my hands.

“Maybe you should go home and rest. You’re probably just tired,” Maisie suggested.

That’s what I did. They even walked me to the parking lot before they left. I felt guilty. If only I didn’t feel bad, they wouldn’t be forced to go home either.

I can’t help thinking about the possibilities. As much as I want to ignore it, the idea keeps insinuating. I don’t know what has gotten into me that I bought five pregnancy tests kit. I even felt like floating while buying them.

I wanted to cry when I saw the result of the fifth one. I was not satisfied with the first one that I even tried all of them. All of it gave me the same results.

Two lines. Positive.

I might be hallucinating. I wish I were. I hoped everything that was happening is just a bad dream. I refuse to believe it. I can’t. Thinking about all the possibilities after this is weakening. I can’t possibly be pregnant. Not with his child. Not with him.