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March 8
Today was women's day. The eighth day of March. The day after I wrote my JAMB exam. The day after I left Dorothy because of what she had said to me.
I thought of calling Mum today so I could tell her how much I missed her and how much I loved her but I didn't. I couldn't call her and tell her how much I loved her because I felt I didn't love her enough to tell her that.
Whenever people composed beautiful words like, a man is only consciously aware of love when he is about to lose someone, they were usually right, but could they also mean that if he is not in a situation of losing someone he may not feel love?
The days of creating spaces about love in my mind were far gone. Each passing day as I watch the hairs in my armpit and pubic region multiply, I have come to realize that I am getting closer to adulthood than I had expected. Yet, I was still the same old me - boring.
Today, I didn't want to spend most of my time thinking about the many reasons
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I spent a great deal time of contemplating whether I should join an agnostic meeting in my neighbourhood or not. Finally, I succumbed to the desires of my mind and attended the meeting.Being a newcomer can be weird sometimes. You see a lot of faces staring at you inquisitively. You see a lot of people talking to each other and looking at your direction as if you are going to figure out what they are saying about you by merely looking back at them.I felt lonely in the meeting until i met someone that didn't look like a Nigerian. He was a Cameroonian."Hey," I greeted the Cameroonian lad I had already concluded as my new friend."Hello," He waved back at me."I thought you were from Nigeria until I had to take a good look at you for more than fifteen minutes.""Cameroon and Nigeria are not that far," the Cameroonian lad replied."A Bakassi border is all there is," I intoned, sounding intelligent for my age."Well,
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 12
Remember the girl that I met on saturday during my JAMB exam? Dorothy lived in a two-bedroom apartment with her father on Python street - one of the few streets in Enugu that turned night into day and day into night. During the hours past midnight, just before dawn, cars and motorcycles filled with exhaust fumes accelerated in an unfriendly manner punishing passers-by with pollution and unbearable noise. There was always a row of headlights, always a row of impatient drivers and sometimes, there was always an occasional row of vehicles mounted with headlights at their top, their sirens making the night difficult to pass through. Life in the night was the direct opposite of life in the day. The streets were more calmer in the day. It was as if the Python that caused havoc in the night had gone to bed. It was as if the spirits that circled the streets at night were night watchers and day sleepers. Dorothy told me she always found it hard to sleep at night when I asked her about
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 14
The sound of a car crashing a motorcycle felt like the inside of my mind, like hate speeches and noises all combined together to stir me to misery.After Aunty Matilda's text message, I started to feel somehow. My mind turned into a busy, crowded fusion of mocking men and women dressed in garbs."How are you doing? Are you sure that you are ok?" Someone asked me this morning after I had taken my bath. It was Uncle Max."I am fine. Thank you, Uncle Max," I smiled.Inside my mind, I could see a man pushing forward, grimacing as he brushed past an exiting patron who was a little bit older than him, feeling the transfer of dewy sweat from the patron to him, the momentary tangling of their arm hair which he felt could create a bond that could be seen as a form of union. The air clung to the ceiling with a cloudy, obscuring darkness that threw shadows on the face of the man who checked his wristwatch and stared at me. I felt my heartbeat skip a little as I trie
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 15
"My name is Mike. I am from Edo State. I am the first child of my parents. I turned seventeen last month, two days after I discovered that my mother was pregnant with a girl child. I was excited when I first heard the news from my father. I had waited so long for the day I would see a new baby in our home. When I was twelve years old, my mother had a miscarriage which made me feel bad because I was not there for her when she was crying for help. I lived with that guilt for a long time until I heard the news of a new baby," Goodness checked the script he was reading then looked at me."That was odd," I drawled."How do I sound?" Goodness asked."Pathetic! You sound like a teenager who is at the verge of exploring puberty."Goodness face shrank."Not too awful though," I added."Do you think I can be able to perform well in the competition?""I don't know the rules of the competition so I can't decide the criteria you will be judged."
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 16
Several times, I have ran hysterically through the valley of darkness with hands above my head. I have ran with no sense of direction just survival instincts flooding my mind. Most experts would call me crazy for running with zero destination in mind but sometimes in life, people just run to relieve themselves from stress; to gain freedom from a bondage they can only escape from by running. Also, against most reasonable accounts, people run to be far away from the world and be lost in their own silence.Today, I ran in the morning, just before five O'clock, to escape from my very own imaginations. Each step I took seemed to take me deeper and deeper into the worsening labyrinth of the jungle. I nearly fell down several times as I was torn into pieces by the fear of my own failure. I could feel the hot breath of my wild pursuer, chasing me in circles as I ran endlessly into a barricade of hostile men dressed in military uniform. What was worse, my feet kept getting entan
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 17
I was still half asleep a couple of hours after mid-day when I woke up to the sound of persistent knocking on the door. It was Goodness."I will be there in a second," I said.I felt my heart beat faster as I stood up from the bed to open Uncle Max's house for the outside world to see."Good afternoon," Goodness greeted."Good afternoon," I replied.Goodness stood in the centre of Uncle Max's living room, an infectious welcoming smile flooded his face."Come and sit down," I suggested."I did not come here to sit down," Goodness' voice was loud."What do you mean by you did not come here to sit down?" I was surprised."I am going to answer your question when you have answered mine first. Why did you not come to school today?" Goodness asked.I scratched my thick black hair. "I was tired," I said."Tired? Is that reason good enough to make you miss your elder sister's marriage?""I said th
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 18
Uncle Max was back from work earlier today. It was not as if he never came back from work before his closing time since I have been living with him but not as early as he did today. After he had drank a glass of water that I had brought for him, he started to complain about the people at his workplace and their unbearable attitude that was getting out of hand."Never you work in a place that is lower than your standard," Uncle Max advised me after he finished drinking the water I had brought for him. "If you make the same mistakes that I have made in life, you may end up hating your job for the rest of your life.""Why do you say so, Uncle Max?""Perer, experience has made me to know that it is better to be late at a party than not to attend the party at all. If you are in the same shoes that I am in, you will understand why I am saying what I am saying.""Are you sure that everything is alright wi
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger March 19
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