Chapter 3

“What the fuck is going on” I said. “What. The…” I couldn’t finish it. I was so shocked.

Lucas looked up to me and the colour drained from his face.

“Avianna” Luca said, his hands slowly going a little up in a calming gesture.

I looked at the unknown man then back at Lucas, my eyes wide it felt like it’ll pop out any moment. And then the tears came rolling down.

“What….” My voice came out so low, I could barely hear. “What the fuck is this? Lucas?”

“Babe listen….”

“Don’t. You. Call. Me. That.”

The man took a step away from the desk, quickly trying to arrange his wrinkled shirt and messy hair, my stomach turned I couldn't stand I had to grab the door frame.

“Get out,” Lucas said to him.

I looked at Lucas astonished. “Are you fucking kidding me right now Lucas? Telling him to get out is what you’re worried about?” I said almost screaming my lungs out.

“Avianna please…”

“Who is he?”

Lucas ran his hands through his hair “it’s not…”

“Who is he Lucas.”

“Julian.” Lucas said.

“Julian.” I said the name out loud slowly as if it’ll make me understand.

“Your…” I looked between them. My mouth had gone dry. “You…. You were with a man?”

Lucas walked a step forward. “Let me explain.”

“A man, Lucas?” I said screaming. “You were doing that with a man in your office while I was sitting right here? While I was talking to you?”

“Keep your voice down.”

My husband was caught with someone. A man. And he was worried about the volume of my voice.

“Fuck you.”

“Avianna, please don’t make a scene.”

“Don’t make a scene?” I stepped into the office. My hands and body were shaking so badly my handbag slipped from my shoulder and hit the floor.

Lucas glanced at Julian. "You need to leave. Now."

Julian picked up his jacket from the chair. I watched him move around the desk, keeping his distance from me.

"Don't," I said when he reached the door.

He stopped.

"Just go," I whispered.

He left without another word.

The door clicked shut.

I looked at Lucas. He took a step towards me, and I backed away so fast my hip struck the edge of the chair.

"Don't touch me."

"Baby, I can explain."

"Then explain. Go on. Explain what I just saw. Explain why there's a man in your office, why he was under your desk, why you looked like ...."

I couldn't finish. My throat tightened. I pressed my palm against my mouth, trying to hold everything inside.

Lucas reached for me again. "It isn't what you think."

"What do I think, Lucas? Tell me. Because I saw you. I saw him. I don't know what else there is to think." I said.

"It was a mistake."

"A mistake?" I repeated. "You don't accidentally end up with someone going down on you."

He looked away.

That small movement hurt. He couldn't even look at me.

"How long?" I asked.

"Avianna…."

"How fucking long?"

He exhaled. "A few months."

"A few months?"

"It didn't mean anything."

I shook my head in disbelief. "A few months, and you came home to me every night. You kissed me. You…. Touched me. You told me you love me."

"I do love you."

"Don't."

"I do."

"Then how could you do this to me? How could you do this to someone you love?"

He had no answer.

"Was it only him? Is there someone else? How many times have you lied to me? Every time you said you had a late meeting, were you with him? When you told me you were exhausted, had you just come from seeing him?" I asked all in one breath.

“What are you? Are you bi? Are you into men or women? You have a wife for god’s sake? What the….”

My heartbeat roared in my ears. Minutes earlier, I'd stood in this room asking if he was alright. He'd looked straight at me and lied. He'd let me worry about another woman while it was a man all along?

Lucas swallowed. "Avianna, I love you."

"I didn't plan for you to find out like this."

“You didn’t plan? How about you not doing it at all. Huh?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it.

I wished I hadn't seen that. I wished he'd deny it. I wished he'd tell me I'd misunderstood. But there was nothing left to misunderstand.

"Avi, stop."

"Stop what? Asking questions? Making you uncomfortable?"

The office door opened.

A woman in a neat grey suit stepped inside, holding a folder against her chest. She looked from Lucas to me, then seemed to notice my wet face and the handbag on the floor.

"Mr Vica? Is everything alright? I heard raised voices."

Lucas's jaw tightened. "We're busy. Close the door."

“No, wait. My husband fansies…’

“Get out.” Lucas screamed at the lady.

She closed the door immediately.

Lucas came around the desk. "Let's go somewhere private. We can talk at home."

"Private?" I stared at him. "You didn't seem to need privacy a few minutes ago."

"That's enough."

"No, it isn't enough!" My voice broke. "You don't get to decide when this conversation is over."

He dragged a hand through his hair. "I know you're upset."

"Upset?" I pressed my fingers to my chest. "I'm standing here trying to understand how the man I married could do this. I thought I knew you. I trusted you. I…. How can you be with a man when you’re married to a woman."

The thought made my stomach clench. I turned away, but it was too late. Nausea rushed up my throat. I covered my mouth and stumbled towards the wastebasket beside the cabinet.

I threw up.

My body heaved again, though there was almost nothing left in my stomach. I gripped the edge of the cabinet, tears falling onto my hands. I felt so sick, looking at him made me sick, this office makes me sick.

"Oh God," I whispered.

Lucas came closer. "Avianna…."

"Stay away."

"You're not well. Let me take you home."

I straightened slowly and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Don't pretend to care about me now."

"I do care."

"Then why wasn't I enough?"

His expression changed. "This has nothing to do with you."

"How convenient." I let out another shaky laugh. "You get to betray me, and somehow it has nothing to do with me."

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did." I looked at him through the tears. "You did, Lucas."

He reached for my hand. I pulled it away.

"Please, Avi. Let's go home. We'll talk there. I'll fix this."

"Fix it?" I whispered. "You can't fix what I saw."

"I'll end it. I swear. Julian won't be part of my life anymore."

I stared at him. "Would you have ended it if I hadn't walked in?"

He said nothing.

That was my answer.

I bent to pick up my handbag, but my fingers wouldn't cooperate. Lucas moved to help. I flinched, and he stopped.

I couldn't bear to look at him anymore.

"I want a divorce," I said as tears kept rolling down my face.