my guilt her pleas

Gabriel’s P.O.V.

I thought that admitting my mistake of misunderstanding Lauren would ease my guilt of asking for a divorce, but it only made me feel worse.

I painted her as a gold digger in my heart before asking for a divorce, but what I learned in the past two days made me feel worse than I felt when I woke up after that accident.

Lauren Shaw....

The woman who took me as a challenge and gave the best of everything.

The woman who made my cold mansion a home, and what I did....

“How is she?” I looked at Celia, the woman I loved wholeheartedly, and couldn’t let her go even when she left me after that accident.

She was sitting in her wheelchair, looking at me worriedly. I smiled tightly while walking towards her.

“She is better now. The good thing is that she came out of critical condition.” I replied to her calmly and sat down on the armrest of the couch. Her wheelchair was now beside the single couch.

“That’s a good news.” She smiled in relief while I took her hand in mine.

For some reason, I wasn’t as relaxed as I should be.

I felt as if I had made a grave mistake, but looking at Celia’s face, I tried to shrug this feeling off my mind.

I loved Celia, and even when she left me after that accident, when I was at my lowest, I never blamed her.

How could I blame her for her decision of choosing her happiness instead of binding herself with a cripple?

“I am sorry, Gabriel. I once again messed up your life.” Celia spoke in a tone filled with remorse and guilt.

I immediately tightened my grip on her hand and slowly pulled her towards me.

“You did nothing wrong, love. That was an accident, and an accident can happen at any time.” I comforted her with a faint smile but saw tears in her eyes.

“But she almost lost her life because of me, Gabe. If you haven’t asked her for the divorce, she wouldn’t have stormed out of the house so late at night. Th… that was your wedding anniversary that day. I learned about that yesterday.” She choked and whimpered a little.

I felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of my chest.

What the f**k did I do?

I asked Lauren for a divorce on our wedding anniversary?????

I couldn’t believe th….. that not only did I forget our wedding anniversary, but also I asked for divorce.

Lauren is not a petty person, but she valued our relationship the most.

Even if there was no love in our marriage, she celebrated our anniversaries passionately.

Not a big party, not a big hassle, just two of us, having a romantic dinner with something for entertainment to make me happy.

She didn’t love me because she was in love with me.

She made a bet with someone; I still don’t know with whom, and then she signed a contract with my mother.

She had her motives, but she did everything to make me come back to life, come out of my depression, and motivate me to make efforts to stand up again.

Hours of physiotherapy, massages, and preparing those herbal baths, herbal soups, and dishes…..

“Gabe.” I snapped out of my thoughts when Celia called me in a low and choked voice.

I felt guilty for zoning out suddenly when she was talking to me.

“I did wrong, Celia. I know, but nothing can change the outcome. We are going to file for divorce on Monday.” I spoke to her in a calm voice, but I suddenly felt tired.

“Did she ….. she agree to treat me?” she asked me, hope pooling both in her voice and eyes.

I subconsciously tightened my grip on her hand.

I felt a heavy weight on my chest when that hope slowly faded away from her eyes, and sadness crept on her face.

“I understand. How could she help me when I not only broke her marriage but also caused that accident?” She spoke in understanding but couldn’t mask her sadness.

I wanted to comfort her but didn’t know what to say to her.

“She is not obligated to help me, a…. and now I also felt th… that this is my punishment….. my punishment for breaking up with you when I should have stayed with you…. W… when you needed me the most.” She choked and immediately lowered her face; tears fell like a waterfall.

I sighed and slowly moved towards her, embracing her upper body. She hid her face on my chest and cried aloud.

“I was scared, Gabe. I was scared when I saw you in the ICU. I love you with all my heart, but I couldn’t see you like that… lying there lifeless, wi…. With all those wires and tubes connected to you, a…. and when the doctors issued the critical notice…. I felt as if someone had thrown me out of this world.” She continued ranting about what made her leave me, and I just listened to her.

“This is my karma, Gabe. This wheelchair…. This cripple-state… this is what I deserve for leaving you back then.” She continued, her guilt and heartbreak so raw in her voice that I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her with all my heart.

I knew this helplessness and despair evident in her voice very well because I was bound to this wheelchair for more than 18 months.

18 months of depression, despair, and helplessness…

“Everything will be okay, Celia. I will find a way to cure you. If Lauren can do it then I am sure that I can also do it.” I comforted her, but my determination to cure Celia strengthened in my heart.

“I trust you, Gabe. I know that you are the only one in the whole world. I regretted everything bad that I did to you, Gabe. I …. I don’t deserve your devotion to our love. I am so selfish that I ruined your marriage life, making Lauren resent me,” she replied to me while crying, but I tightened my grip on her upper torso when she cried hard.

“I chose to be with you, Celia. Lauren has no resentment towards you because I am her culprit. I don’t regret choosing you, love. I am here, and this is what matters the most.”

Lauren was an intelligent woman with a good understanding. I know that she hated me for what I did to her, and I wanted Celia to understand the same thing about Lauren.

"Please, Gabe. I don't want to be stuck in this wheelchair all my life. Take me to her. If .... if I have to beg to her, I will beg. I will do anything to make her agree with my treatment. Even if she....she charges me, I am willing to pay any f*e, Gabe. Please, make her treat me," Celia pleaded to me while crying.

I understood her desperation, but now I understood Lauren a bit.

Back then, she was determined to make me stand again, and she did it.

Now, she is adamant about cutting ties with me, and I am sure that she will not give a second thought to me.

"It's not about money, Celia. In the beginning, I also thought that Lauren was doing everything for money, but I was wrong. She never spent a dime of whatever money I gave to her all these years." Celia immediately looked up, making me stop speaking.

"Wh... what do you mean that she never spent a dime? She is an orphan with no family and no job, Gabriel. If.... if it weren't for you and your family providing her everything, how could she be able to buy everything for you?" she questioned in a choked voice, disbelief evident in her voice.

I don't know why, but when Celia called Lauren an orphan, I felt bad.

My phone buzzed in my suit jacket pocket, making me move away from Celia.

She reluctantly let go of me too.

I took my phone out of my pocket and took the call, as it was my assistant, Victor Wills.

“Mr. Westfield, we lost the project to Starline Tech,” he informed me in a low and cautious voice.

“What? How did this happen?” I asked him in shock while standing up.

It was not a small project, but of 10 billion. My team was confident about getting this project.