As Payton slowly drifted back into consciousness, the first thing she noticed was that Josh was there holding her tight. She felt his slow, steady breathing, and she didn't know what she'd do if he weren't there with her. She couldn't have done this without him; he was her rock through it all. Stretching she felt stiff and sore like she'd been sleeping for weeks, not hours. She hadn't felt anything but stiff and sore from sleeping at the hospital for the past week.Slipping out of Josh's arms trying not to disturb his sleep, she climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She wasn't sure what time it was, but with how dark it was, she knew it was late, and if she knew what was good for her, she'd get back in bed and try to sleep. She was suddenly wide awake, though, and she didn't feel like going back to bed at all. Instead of going back to her room, she went to the door of her mom's room. She squared her shoulders and before she chickened out, opened the door.Payton hadn't been in
Josh woke abruptly to sobs. It sounded like someone was really hurting. Realizing almost instantly that Payton wasn't in bed, he panicked and sat up looking to see if he could find her. Payton sat on the floor by the closet with her mom's journal in her hands. Grabbing his shorts, he pulled them on and sat next to her. When he put his arm around her, she collapsed into his side and he could feel her shaking as she cried."What's wrong?"She stuttered trying to explain, "My... mom... she... she... dad.""Shh, calm down."Her body trembled as she continued to sob. After a bit, her sobs turned to hiccups, and then she quietly sighed. The whole time Josh did the only thing he could think of, he held on to her as tight as he could."The guy..." she whimpered again, "The guy she was dating was my dad.""But I thought you said..." Josh trailed off not knowing how to finish the thought.She must have known, though, "I did too."He was thoroughly confused, "It doesn't make sense.""From what I
Looking across the busy foyer Payton saw Josh talking with his parents and Hailey. When Hailey made eye contact, she smiled slightly and gave her a little wave. Hailey had come in that morning, and Payton had only had time to give her a quick hug before she'd gotten busy doing stuff for the service. She was really surprised at the number of people who'd come, and how many of them had come to her personally to share a story or say how much her mother meant to them.Things had calmed down a bit and even though there were several people still around, Payton's grandparents had gone to take care of a few things in another room. Payton was about to finally go see her friend when a man stopped her, "I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about everything that happened to Kathy. She was an amazing woman."Payton saw him extend his hand and moved to shake it, "She was. Thank you." When she finally made eye contact, her eyes widened, and she gasped. She tried to recover, and thankfully the man didn't
Payton had tried to go to bed over an hour ago, but sleep wouldn't come. She was tossing and turning, and her mind was running a mile a minute. One minute the grief of her mom passing would crash over her and the next the nerves of meeting with Dave would take over. She was a hot mess, and she wasn't sure what to do about it."What's going on in that head of yours?" Hailey asked, startling her."Lots of things.""Payton, it's going to be okay. I know it's crappy for me to say that, but it will be. We're gonna get through this," she told her reaching for her hand.Payton squeezed her hand, "I know, it's just so... I don't know how to explain it. She wasn't really here with us for so long anyway, but it always felt like she could come back to us.""You want me to stay?" she asked."No. Josh is staying, and I'll be okay. It won't be long before we're back at school anyway.""Okay, if you want me to, though, I will.""I know, and I love you for that." After several seconds she said, "What
Rooted outside the place she'd agreed to meet Dave, Payton couldn't get the nerve to move. She was already ten minutes late, and she could see him in the booth through the window. He looked like he was getting ready to leave, and Payton couldn't blame him. The ringing phone didn't pull her eyes from the man in the restaurant, but she fished it out of her pocket and answered, "Hello?""Hey, I'm on my way home.""Okay, see you in a couple hours.""Why aren't you at lunch?" Josh asked."I'm outside now. I'm suddenly not sure I wanna do this," she confessed."Do what you have to. This isn't for anyone else, just you. If you wanna see him, then go in. If you're doing it for any other reason, just leave. It's not like you'd see him again anyway."Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she gathered up her resolve, "No, I need to do this.""If you need me, give me a call.""Thanks."Slipping her phone back in her pocket, she stood up straight and told herself she could do it. Taking it one st
EIGHT MONTHS LATER Payton didn't know where the time had gone. After Christmas, she and Josh had returned to school and finished out the semester. She'd watched as he graduated and helped him move to a home he'd bought in the town he'd be teaching in. She'd gone with Josh to visit Jackson in New York for a few days, and she enjoyed getting to know him more.The big trip of the summer was for Bryce and Addison's wedding. When one of Addison's bridesmaids ended up not being able to travel due to a high-risk pregnancy, she asked Payton to stand in for her. Payton wasn't sure at first, but she was glad she had. Getting to know Addison and being around Josh's family had felt right.Now she was headed back to school, and she'd be there alone. Well, not alone, but Josh was going to be two hours away, and she'd be stuck still suffering with senioritis. Knowing that it was the day she'd see her friends again, she woke early, hugged her grandparents goodbye, and made the trip with as few stops
Was there ever a day where her head wasn't pounding? Payton didn't think so. It was simply a matter of how bad the pain was. Several months ago things had seemed to be getting better, but those days were long behind her, and now she was caught in a vicious cycle of pain and pain medication. It was wearing her out, but she didn't know what to do anymore.Rubbing her temples trying to ease the pain, she knew that it was going to be a pain pill kind of day. She headed up to her room, closed her door, and started to sift through the many prescription bottles she had sitting out on a stack of boxes. She grabbed a couple of the pills she'd been looking for, popped them in her mouth, and then found her water on the table. She swallowed them down and then sat down in the quiet. There was a light knock at the door, and when she saw it was Josh, she opened it wide and motioned for him to come in. She watched as he took the room in and the emotions that crossed his face."Is it that weird? I mean
"This is so fucking fucked up. What the hell is with me?" Jackson thought as he looked back at his family one more time. He made his way on the bus and took a seat. He'd known Payton since Thanksgiving when Josh had brought her home for the first time. Sure they had some stuff in common, and she listened to him like no one else did. And damn, he hadn't meant to kiss her, but now that he had, he couldn't forget about it. He'd told Josh it was a mistake, and it didn't mean anything, and it was true, but he wished it weren't and it could.Payton was the kind of girl he'd have picked to bring home to the family. She was smart, able to go toe to toe with Bryce, funny, cute, and she was just a decent person. There wasn't anything he knew about her that he didn't like, and that was the problem. Josh never dated women like her, and here he was falling in love with the person Jackson was sure was meant for him."Why the hell am I so hung up on my brother's girlfriend... no, wait, fiancée?" he w