Six weeks of Silence

Lyla’s POV

My mind did not allow me to rest as I sat on my bed staring at the wall. The recollection of that evening, six weeks before, was rolling like a sadistic cycle. I had backed out. I had deceived Elowen, and told her  that I wished to go with the soldiers back to our old pack, and collect our things. I had uttered it without a second thought, and I had to sound careless, yet my stomach was turning with the guilt.

I hated myself. My silence had increased in weight each day since. I despised the fact that I could not gather the courage to tell  her the truth, that I had allowed my fear to mislead  me. I despised the fact that Kieran- her mate- was publicly loving and flaunting her, whilst the mark still on my skin and she was unaware.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at my door. I gathered  myself, and a maid came in, with a tray of food.

“Good afternoon, Miss Layla;” the maid said in a polite manner, laying the tray on the side table. “I have brought food.” 

“Thanks,” I said to her with a  smile which she returned and then left the room. I picked up the plate, mouth watering at the sight of the food. However, when the aroma  reached my nose my stomach turned upside down. I felt nauseous , which was followed by a headache. I sat down, clinging to the bed-side, and wondering what it was all about.

And just in time Elowen entered into the room. She had a furrowed brow and drawn-up lips. I soon changed my position, so that I had to appear as usual, and I was aware that my face was becoming pale.

“Elowen…” It is, I said, attempting to sound careless.

She glanced at me a moment, and sat down next me. “What’s wrong? You look…” Shaking her head, she went on. “I do not know, you just, look different.”

I gave a small shrug. “I’m fine. Just… tired, I guess.”

“What happened?” I asked her, trying to shift the focus of the conversation. 

She was hesitating, and then leaned nearer. “I need to tell someone. I have been ruminating about it weeks long and I cannot quit. It’s been six weeks, Layla. I have been with Kieran for six weeks, but he has not marked me yet. Her voice had fallen to a whisper. “We’ve had sex quite a number of times but he …he never sani  his teeth into my neck. I don’t understand. Did the elder make a mistake? Was I… wrong? Is all this a misunderstanding? Is this a prank? Why has he not marked me as his mate yet? Is he only spending time with me out of duty not love? Does he not love me?l

My stomach tightened, and vomit rose up my throat, yet I drew her close in a warm embrace, and I laid her head against my shoulder. “Elowen, it’s okay,” I said softly. “It’s not a mistake. Rogues are different. Their impressions, their ties... they do not behave like our own. He demonstrates his attachment in a different way. You’ll see. You’re his mate. And he loves you, hm? I’ve seen the way he looks at you, thats the eyes of a man who is in love, not one who is bound by duty.”

She drew a little aside, and gazed into my eyes. The strain in her face gradually eased, and a little nod indicated that she was convinced, at any rate in the immediate future.

“You are pale,” she said with concern in her eyes.

“I’m fine,” I lied, forcing a smile. “Just… exhausted.”

Her eyes were wandering on the tray beside her. “You need to eat, Layla. You have not taken a bite of anything all day.

“No, I am not hungry,” I said hastily, and pushed the plate aside.

She shook her head firmly. “You need to eat something. Come on.” She took a spoonful of the food and raised it towards me.

The smell struck me, and before I could restrain myself I ran towards the bathroom. The abrupt illness overcame me and I found myself on my knees before the toilet and vomiting my guts out. My stomach ached, and all muscles in my body were tense.

“Elowen…” I attempted to speak, but I did it in a croaked voice.

She followed me up right behind me, and rubbed my back. “Layla! What’s wrong? Talk to me!”

A reply was on my lips, but I felt the dizziness growing, and the room swam about my head. My  body felt heavy, my knees were weak. I attempted to keep myself erect, but the world was spinning fast , and the sickness again overwhelmed me.

“Elowen…keiran…marked…last night… dress for…mating ceremony.” I muttered, trying to get the truth out so I’d die without holding secrets.