Chapter 1

Zach's pov 

College. Higher institution. A fresh slate. A new town, and a better place. The halls were white, the scholarship letter in my hands seemed like a breath of much needed air, and the boys....cute.

Maybe the universe was finally throwing me a bone, considering that my highschool years were quite dreadful.

My stomach did flips just thinking about it.

Gigi fitted her ponytail into her scrunchie and turned to me.

"I can smell your excitement, literally."

Gigi was the best fitted person in my corner. She made friendship so easy. 

I shoved her playfully,

"I can't help it. I mean, this is Havisham, THE Havisham college and I get to attend here. It's a dream turned into reality." I ran a hand through my hair. "Plus, I get to study what I would die for. Business."

She rolled her eyes

"I wish I had the same level of excitement you do when it comes to things like the matters of education. School is stressful." She shrugged lightly. 

"Good things in life are never stress-free Gigi."

She rolled her eyes again, finally succeeding in knotting the scrunchie properly. Even though it sat awkwardly on her head.

"I am so motivation driven and you're not. How did we even become friends in the first place?"

We both bursted into a spree of unending laughter in the hallway, neither of us knowing the answer to that question.

"Anyways, I have to go to the vice-chancellor's offi—"

The commotion cut me off, students rushed past us in a haze, heading towards somewhere, towards someone. Someone nearly stepped on my overpriced sneakers.

"What is happening?" I muttered quietly. 

Gigi cranked her neck to the side, squinting her eyes.

"I think....an epic professor's return or something?"

My lips parted, I had heard that Havisham's number one exemplary professor, Dr. Damian Roswell had sustained an ankle injury and would not be back until the next academic semester. He was an icon.

"Do you think he was discharged early?"

Gigi nodded, the grin on her face stretching widely. She had the biggest crush on the man, even if he was rumoured to be engaged.

One moment I was standing there and the next, my hand was in hers as she violently pulled me towards the gathering crowd.

"We have to see this!" 

I was excited for her too, straining my neck to see the professor. Until I saw a familiar pair of eyes and the spark in my eyes hid behind my soul.

His laugh was loud, the same laughter that rang out each time he and his athletic friends would douse my head in toilet water. Each time they wrote, 'fag' on the locker doors.

I froze.

Gigi turned towards me, she hadn't seen him yet.

"Z?" She asked, "is everything okay?"

I didn’t answer.

Because there he was. Staring back at me, recognition and amusement flaring in his eyes.

It was Ryder Summers, the bully in my high school. In the flesh. Leaner, maybe taller, definitely still just as cocky.

Just then, I recognised that disgusting laughter. 

Surrounded by a crowd already, some guys fist-bumping him, girls flipping their hair as they laughed too hard at something he probably didn’t even say. He was still popular as he was in high school.

I looked away first. My heart was already sprinting. All the ugly memories of what he did with his crew played back in my head so quickly. 

I should’ve transferred the second I saw his name on the course list. I thought nothing of it at first, I mean it could have been a different Ryder. 

I had assumed.

But no. Of course it was him. Of all the people in the world, fate decided to drop him at my dream school like a cruel joke.

She blinked as her eyes caught sight of him. “Wait, that Ryder? High school Ryder? The promiscuous bully? No way.”

"Zach..." She tugged my sleeve nervously, "what are you going to do?"

I took a deep breath for a second, a tight grin on my face. I turned and ran without looking back. 

_____

I had gone to the vice chancellor's office, escaped the populatee-haze, avoided Ryder and gone through my freshman day of courses.

By 3PM, I was sitting at the outdoor café, hiding behind my course brochure like it was a protective shield. I had managed to avoid every corner where Ryder’s voice might be heard, or where the disgusting laughter echoed. 

I took new paths to classes, slipped through back doors, and even skipped lunch just to keep my sanity intact.

But none of that stopped the flashbacks from crawling in. The bruises he gave me continued to open slowly when I remember the glimpse I got of his face. The slurs he said. The feeling of being nothing compared to him.

“Mind if I join you?” Gigi’s voice broke through my spiral.

I peeked over the top of my brochure. “Sure, why not. Misery loves company.”

She plopped down across from me, two iced teas in hand. She slid one toward me like a peace offering. “Still in flight mode, huh?” She grinned softly. 

I gave her a half-smile. “I’m not even sure I landed yet,” then I breathed out deeply. 

She sipped. “You know, you’re allowed to feel messed up. Ryder being here? That’s like putting a haunted doll in your dorm and asking you to just relax."

I chuckled at that. “You always know the weirdest analogies.”

“You love it.” She leaned in. “But seriously, Z, what are the odds? You’re here on merit, on scholarship. He is probably here on his daddy’s sports money. You’ve earned your place. He.....just occupies space.”

Her words gave me a sliver of calm. Still, the image of his grin earlier wouldn’t leave my mind. It prickled my skin with goosebumps.

“I just don’t want to go back to being scared again,” I whispered.

Gigi reached for my hand. “Then don’t. You’re not that boy anymore, Zach.”

Before I could respond, a familiar, sharp voice cut through the air. “Yo! What’s up, Zachary?”

My stomach dropped.

Ryder.

He was standing by the table, a water bottle in hand, his gym bag slung across his shoulder like he owned the world.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he said, his eyebrows raised in mock surprise. “Guess the nerds got guts these days.”

I blinked, stunned silent. Gigi, however, didn’t hesitate. She never did.

“Didn’t think you'd still be talking like it’s 1923,” she fired back. “I guess some people’s brains just never graduate.”

He gave a slow smirk. “Feisty. Still your watchdog, huh?” His eyes locked on mine again. “See you around, Zach.”

And just like that, he walked away.

I couldn’t breathe.

Gigi looked ready to throw her drink at him. “What a walking red flag. Are you okay?”

I stared at Ryder’s fading silhouette.

“No,” I murmured, breathing heavily. “But I will be,” I felt the pearls of sweat break and roll on the side of my face. 

I put my ice cold hands together because at the back of my mind, my rage overridden my fear.

What if I pushed Ryder off a building?