Chapter 20

Zach’s POV

 

Making it to school the morning after the kiss was just not happening.

 

It was physically impossible for me to move from my bed that morning, talk more of leaving my dorm.

 

Embarrassment weighed on me, disrupting my thoughts and even ruining my appetite. I had spent all night turning over in my sheets and almost losing my mind each time I thought about it.

 

It wasn’t the kiss that had me so riled up. To be honest, I had wanted to for a while. At first, I told myself it was just that dumb AI picture putting things in my head but with every second I spent with him, I realized that I had wanted Ryder much longer than I would admit.

 

But once I accepted the fact, I was okay with it. It wasn’t my first time crushing on someone way out of my league, and I was so certain that like all the others, how I felt for him would fade away quickly.

 

Only it didn’t fade, the one time where I was actually fine with not acting on a crush he goes ahead and does… that.

 

His reaction after wasn’t surprising, I mean it still felt like a bag of gravel had been dumped on my head, but I was better off not getting punched in the face.

 

And besides, it was exactly the wake up call I needed, he clearly didn’t know what he was doing, for all I knew he was probably still playing his game and he was fine with going as far as kissing me, at the time.

 

The last thing I needed to do was romanticize this at all.

 

It was Ryder, he was nothing but a bully and -till proven otherwise- a stalker.

 

“Get your head straight, Zach,” I mumbled into my pillow, lying face down on my bed. I had less than thirty minutes to get to Saks class on time to have that talk with him, it was nearly impossible to get the man’s attention after that.

 

My mind flashed back to how cold Ryder sounded last night. He was so repulsed with himself after that he didn’t care about the project anymore.

 

He probably wasn’t going to bother coming to school, so that was one less thing to be worried about.

 

Groaning, I pushed myself off my bed, fighting off my thoughts and pulling on the nearest clothes I could find. Before stepping out, I made sure to lock my window.

 

 

The moment I walked into the classroom Ryder was the first person I laid eyes on, hands in his pockets with that usual smugness about him as he spoke with the professor.

 

Shit.

 

I was really counting on not seeing him again for a while… maybe the rest of my life.

 

Why was he with Saks? Had he decided to do it himself after all?

I stood contemplating by the doorway when Ryder’s head tilted in my direction and I had I to stop myself from bolting.

 

“There he is,” he said, and to my greatest surprise grinned at me.

 

My eyes scanned the room for a moment, checking for any sign that I was dreaming.

 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t. They both stood there, smiling at me. But I wasn’t sure I could do it. I really should have stayed at home.

 

Tension rose and suddenly the room became blazing hot and it felt like I was going to throw up, my face contorted and both their eyebrows furrowed at the same time.

 

“Are you alright, Mr. Jameson?”

 

The only thing I could do was shake my head at the Professor before spinning around and rushing out of class, heading straight for the bathroom.

 

It felt as if I was about to throw up all my internal organs as I ducked my head into the bathroom sink and heaved.

 

When I finally started feeling like I wasn’t going to die, I rinsed my face off and lifted my head, catching my reflection in the mirror. Streaks of cold water poured down my pale skin, and behind me stood a familiar figure with his arms folded.

 

Fear gripped me for a second and I spun to meet Ryder’s eyes heavy on me.

The nausea sprang up instantly.

 

“What the hell?” I barked, biting back the urge to throw up on his expensive shoes.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, his tone clipped.

“Nothing, what do you care?”

 

His jaw clenched and he pushed himself off the wall, slipping his hands back into his pockets. “Do you need to visit a nurse or something?”

 

“Ryder just stop!” I yelled, losing my grip.

“I’m literally not doing anything,” It annoyed me how quickly he’s regained that cam, nonchalant persona.

 

Especially when all I could picture was how mesmerized he looked last night.

 

“Good. So, you can just go away. Now that you’ve talked with Saks, we never have to see each other again and you don’t have to compensate for anything.”

 

He paused, then sighed, and just when I thought he was leaving, his fingers wrapped around my wrist and before I could say anything else he dragged me out of the bathroom.

 

“Jesus, Ryder! Not this shit again.”

“Your skin is getting paler, that can’t be healthy.”

“I already told you I’m fine.”

“Then you don’t know what you’re saying, we need to get you checked.”

 

“We? Since when we’re you so involved in my life? If you’re worried I’m going to rat you out for stalking me-”

 

“Jesus Christ, Zach. Enough with that bullshit!” He barked, stopping just in front of the entrance doors and turning to me.

 

“I haven’t been stalking you, and that’s the last I’ll talk about it.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

 

He didn’t respond at first, just rubbed his temples and sighed.

 

“Zach, I didn’t want to come to school today. I wasn’t ready to face you, actually there was a lot I wasn’t ready to face yet. Then I thought about how you would feel, and now I’m here.”

 

My eyebrows furrowed. “What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying I don’t have the why, but I know that I want to protect you. I don’t want to be friends, or enemies. I just want to make sure you’re good.”

 

Everything I knew, the perfectly fucked up world I had built around Ryder and I came crumbling in that one moment. I’d had it so wrong this whole time.

 

“And then what?”

 

Ryder’s blue eyes darkened as he held my gaze, whispering secrets his lips wouldn’t tell. “And then…” he trailed off, swallowing as his eyes fell to my lips.

“Then I won’t ever bother you again.”

 

The air between us went still, the weight of his words stealing the moment. Would it be so easy to let him go now that I knew how he felt about me?