Unshattered

|DIAN|

I woke up in the healer's cottage and for half a second I didn't remember why. Then it all came crashing back and I wished I'd stayed unconscious.

Margot the healer seen hovering over me looking worried. I tried to sit up and pain exploded in my chest , not again. I was so sick of hurting. "Easy," Margot said, pushing me back down. "Don't move too fast." My voice came out rough like I'd been screaming the whole day.

"What happened?" She checked my pulse and widened my eyeballs to check for issues. "You've been unconscious for two days now. The bond rejection caused severe trauma. Your body shut down." Two days. I'd lost two whole days to this who drama, the anger sparked hot in my heart .

"Where's my mom?" I asked. Margot's expression softened in a smile. "Getting food for you dear. She hasn't left your side ever since. Neither has your father as well." Great. 

So they'd watched me fall apart for two days straight now that was humiliating. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel anything and failed. 

"Can you try shifting for me?" Margot asked. I reached for my wolf Lora. She was there but buried deep inside like she was scared when am not. When I tried to shift again she whimpered and retreated further inside, Hiding from the pain and from the rejection. "I can't," I said through gritted teeth. "She won't come out." Margot nodded like she expected it so. "The wolf is traumatized , she'll resurface when she's ready. Don't force it." Don't force it. Easy for her to say.

"How long?" My voice came out sharp. Margot hesitated too long. "I don't know Dian. Every rejected bond is different." Rejected bond. They had a clinical term for it, lol. Like it happened often enough to need a name. That made it worse somehow.

"Does it get better?" I asked. Needed to know if this pain was permanent. If I'd feel like this forever. Margot was quiet. "Eventually. The pain will fade. Slowly." Eventually and slowly was not the answer I wanted. 

My parents came back then and Mom's eyes were swollen from crying. Dad looked ten years older. They hugged me carefully like I might shatter, i probably might, but I hugged them back anyway because they didn't deserve my anger. They hadn't done this to me. Kael did. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Mom asked. Like I wanted to die, like i wanted to find Kael and make him hurt the way he hurt me. "I'm fine," I lied but nobody believed me but they didn't push.

I stayed in the healer's cottage for four more days. Margot said I needed rest but I felt worse and not better. The pain dulled to a constant ache but it never stopped. And I could feel him through whatever was left of the bond. His presence made me nauseous. Made me want to claw at my own chest to get him out. But he was there anyway. A parasite I couldn't remove at the moment. Mara and Sera visited on the third day. Brought me flowers. Tried to smile and sat on the edge of my bed looking uncomfortable,I almost told them to leave but they were trying though. "Everyone's talking about it," Mara said. Because subtlety wasn't her thing. Sera hissed "Mara" but I cut her off. "What are they saying?"

Mara looked at Sera. Sera looked at her hands a classic avoidance. "Just tell me," I said. But i kept my voice flat and emotionless. Mara took a breath in. 

"Some wolves think Kael did the right thing, that he made a hard choice for the pack's future." Each word was a knife hitting me but I didn't flinch. Wouldn't give them the satisfaction. "Others think the moon goddess made a mistake. That the bond shouldn't have formed atall." 

There it was and I was the mistake. "And some think I did something wrong," I finished it for her. Neither denied it. Of course they didn't. Because that's what the pack did. Blame the weak one. My jaw clenched. "Rebecca Vance said you must've done something to warrant it," Mara continued. Then grinned. "So I punched her face."

That surprised a laugh out of me. It hurt but I didn't care. "You didn't." Sera nodded. "Gave her a black eye. oh It was beautiful."

For a second I felt normal. Then Mara's expression shifted she got uncomfortable. "My mom told me to be careful being seen with you too much. She thinks you'll damage my reputation." The laugh died in my throat. Of course. Can't be associated with the rejected girl that might be contagious. "It's okay," I said. Even though it wasn't. Even though I wanted to scream at the unfairness. Mara looked miserable. "It's not okay," Sera said fiercely. Gentle Sera who never raised her voice. "None of this is okay. Kael had no right-" "Don't," I cut her off. His name made the bond wound throb. "Please don't."

They left soon after. When they were gone I felt lonelier but also relieved too, pretending to be okay was exhausting.

On the fourth day Margot said I could leave. "Rest,eat,walk every day. The pain will fade." I knew she was lying. I could see it in her eyes. But I nodded anyway. 

My parents walked me back through the pack house. We had to go through the common areas. Wolves would stop and stare, some looked sympathetic. Others were curious. I kept my head up. Met their eyes. Dared them to say something. None did. Cowards. But I heard the whispers start the second we passed. "That's her." "Poor thing." "She must've done something." "Kael made the right choice."

I kept my face blank, by the time we reached our rooms my hands were shaking from the effort of staying calm. My mom hugged me hard. Dad stood there looking helpless and angry. Looking like he wanted to fix this all but couldn't. Nobody could. I went to my room and closed the door. Sat on my bed. The same bed I'd woken up few days ago excited about my birthday.

I lay down and pressed my hand to my chest where the pain lived. Where I could still feel Kael like an infection. Lora whimpered deep inside. Missing her mate even though he'd rejected us. Called us weak and a mistake. 

But underneath her grief I felt my own anger burning so hot and getting stronger. He did this. And I was supposed to just accept it? Just fade away like the pack gossip's said I would? Like hell i promise you Kael , you'll regret hurting Dian.