CHAPTER 4

Evelyn woke to the sound of her phone ringing.

She reached for it without opening her eyes, expecting to see Adrian's name again. Instead, the screen showed Chloe.

Her younger sister.

For a few seconds, Evelyn couldn't move. She remembered Chloe standing beside Adrian in the cold, holding the bag that contained the last of Evelyn's food. She remembered asking her sister to stay. She remembered Chloe looking away before walking off with him.

Evelyn sat up and pressed a hand against her mouth.

It had been a dream in the life she had just left, but it felt real to her. She remembered every detail. She recalled how Chloe had promised they would always look after each other. She remembered believing those words even when she was starving.

The phone continued ringing.

Evelyn wiped her face and answered.

"Hello, Chloe."

"Finally! Why did you take so long to pick up?"

"Good morning to you too."

Chloe laughed. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

Evelyn said nothing.

"Anyway, what are you doing today? I wanted to come over."

Evelyn looked at the bags of supplies near her wardrobe. She hadn't finished arranging everything, and she didn't want Chloe walking through her home, asking questions about the food and water.

"Why do you want to come?"

"Why can't I visit my own sister?"

"You can. I was only asking."

"Well, I want to see you. We haven't spent proper time together lately."

Evelyn almost laughed. Chloe had called her twice in the last week, both times to ask for something. Now she was talking as if they had been planning a family visit.

"What time were you thinking?" Evelyn asked.

"Maybe around noon. I can stay for a while."

Evelyn glanced at the clock. She needed to finish checking her supplies and visit another shop. She also needed to figure out how much money she could spend without risking her rent.

"Today isn't good for me," she said. "Can we do another day?"

Chloe went quiet.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I have some things to do."

"What things?"

"Personal things."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I have things to take care of."

Chloe gave a short laugh. "Wow. Okay. Since when do you have secrets from me?"

Evelyn's chest tightened. The question brought back the last days of her former life, when Chloe had known exactly where Evelyn kept her supplies.

She pushed the memory away.

"I'm not keeping secrets. I just have plans."

"You never used to talk like this."

"I know."

"Are you upset with me?"

Evelyn looked down at her hands. She wanted to say yes. She wanted to tell Chloe that she was angry about a betrayal that hadn't happened yet. She wanted to ask why her sister had been able to leave her behind without looking back.

But Chloe wouldn't understand any of it.

"No," Evelyn replied. "I'm not upset with you."

"Then why are you acting strange?"

"I'm trying to get some things in order. That's all."

Chloe sighed loudly. "Fine. I won't disturb you. I was only trying to spend time with you."

Guilt rose inside Evelyn at once. It was an old feeling, one she knew well. Chloe hadn't even cried, yet Evelyn already felt as if she had done something cruel.

In her first life, she would have changed her answer.

She would have told Chloe to come over. She would have cleaned the sitting room, prepared food, and listened to her sister complain about whatever had gone wrong. If Chloe asked for money, Evelyn would have searched her account for something to send.

Then she would have postponed her own plans and told herself that family came first.

But she had done that before. It hadn't saved her.

"You can come another day," Evelyn said. "I'll let you know when I'm free."

"So I have to wait for an invitation now?"

"Chloe, please. I'm not trying to fight with you."

"Neither am I."

Yet Chloe sounded annoyed.

After a few seconds, she said, "I have to go. Call me when you stop being busy."

The call ended.

Evelyn remained on the bed, holding her phone. She hadn't shouted. She hadn't insulted her sister. She had only refused a visit on a day when she had other things to do.

Still, she felt as if she had broken something.

She placed the phone beside her and got out of bed. She needed to stop treating every unhappy reaction as proof that she had done something wrong.

In the kitchen, she made breakfast and ate while checking her shopping list. She had enough rice and canned food for a start, but she needed more drinking water, basic medicine, and cleaning supplies. She also needed to find a safe place to store everything.

Her work wasn't finished.

She spent the next hour arranging the supplies. She grouped the canned food together and kept the hygiene products separate. She checked the dates on the food and wrote them in her notebook. Then she moved the medicine away from the kitchen window, where heat could damage it.

The tasks helped her focus, but Chloe's words kept returning to her mind.

You never used to talk like this.

That was true.

Evelyn had been the sister who answered every call, accepted every request, and found a way to help even when she had little to give. She had believed that being dependable meant never saying no.

She had also believed Chloe would never hurt her.

A message appeared on her phone.

Chloe: Are you sure nothing is wrong?

Evelyn stared at it.

She could ignore the message, but that would only lead to more calls. She could tell Chloe that she was tired, but Chloe might ask more questions. She could pretend to be ill, yet she was tired of making excuses for choices she had every right to make.

She typed, I'm fine. I just need time to handle some things today. We can talk later.

She sent it before she could change her mind.

Chloe replied almost at once.

Okay. I hope you know you can talk to me about anything.

Evelyn read the words several times.

In another life, she might have found comfort in them. Now they hurt. Chloe had once been the person Evelyn trusted most. She had shared her fears, her plans, and her money with her sister because she believed that closeness meant safety.

She had been wrong about that.

But she couldn't treat Chloe as guilty of a future act she hadn't yet committed. If Evelyn wanted to be fair, she had to be careful not to let her memories turn her into someone who hurt people before they had done anything.

She would watch. She would listen. She would protect herself.

She didn't have to offer Chloe every part of her life to prove that she loved her.

Evelyn put the phone away and returned to her list. She marked the items she had already bought and wrote down the amount left in her account. After that, she checked the lock on her front door and made sure the spare key was where it should be.

The small actions gave her a sense of control.

By early afternoon, she had finished organizing the room. She stood in the doorway and looked at the supplies. There was still a long way to go, but she had started.

Her phone rang again.

This time, Chloe didn't call. She sent a voice message.

Evelyn pressed play.

"Evie, I don't know what's happening with you. You've been acting different, and now you don't even want me to visit. If I've done something, just tell me. You don't have to treat me like a stranger."

Chloe's voice sounded hurt.

Evelyn sat down.

That was the hardest part. Chloe was not a stranger. She was her sister, the girl Evelyn had once carried home when she fell asleep in the back seat of their mother's car. She was the person who used to crawl into Evelyn's bed after a bad dream.

Evelyn still loved that girl.

She also remembered the woman who had walked away from her while she begged for help.

Both memories belonged to Chloe. Evelyn didn't know how to hold them together without feeling as if her heart was being pulled apart.

She wiped her eyes and recorded a reply.

"I'm not treating you like a stranger. I have a lot to sort out, and I need some time to myself. I'm not angry with you. We can talk soon, okay?"

She sent it and placed the phone on the table.

For the rest of the afternoon, she focused on her plans. She checked prices online, wrote down the names of shops she wanted to visit, and made a list of questions about possible shelter options. She didn't have enough information to make every decision yet, so she noted what she needed to find out.

When evening came, she warmed some food and ate at the small table beside the window. Outside, people walked home from work. A couple argued near the gate, then walked away in opposite directions. Someone laughed loudly on the floor above her.

Ordinary life continued.

Evelyn knew that it wouldn't last forever, but she couldn't spend every minute thinking about the end. She needed to use the time she had.

Before bed, she opened her notebook and wrote one more rule.

I can love my sister without giving her control over my choices.

She paused, then added another.

I will not punish her for what I remember, but I will not ignore what I learn.

She closed the notebook and set it beside her phone.

Chloe had not replied to her last message. Evelyn felt the familiar urge to call and make everything right. She resisted it.

Tomorrow, she would keep preparing.

Tonight, she would let her sister be upset without rushing to fix it.

For once, Evelyn allowed herself to rest without asking anyone's permission.