TOPHER
NAKATITIG SI JENNA sa akin, and I couldn’t look away fast enough.
“You mean you knew Keith. Like, you knew about him na ni hindi ka man lang na-shock o kahit nagulat when I told you what happened?”Napapikit ako, saka nagmulat at tumingin sa kanya. “I knew Keith before the company. Barkada siya ng mga pinsan kong pumasok sa same school where he’d went, sa Ateneo. He’s arrogant and a social climber. Kilala rin siyang player. But… it’s been a while. He’s successful now so hindi ako sigurado kung gano’n pa rin siya. I am sorry, Jenna. I wasn’t close to you. Lalabas na sinisiraan ko lang siya kung may sinabi ako.”Nagbuntunghininga siya pero mukha namang hindi nagalit. “That’s okay. Mabuti na lang nalaman ko agad bago pa lumala. Kung gano’n, kanina pa lang alam mo na pala ang nangyari sa akin?”“More or less,” sabi ko. “But just think how lucky you are that you’re not going to marry the bastard.”Pinipilit niyang ngumiti, iyon ang nakikita ko bago ko sinabi ang sinabi ko. Awang awa ako sa kanya. Pero napangiti na rin ako noong natawa siya pagkarinig sa akin. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag.“What? He is a bastard,” ulit ko pa.“He is. Pero iba kapag mismong lalaki ang nagsasabi.”“How different?” curious kong tanong, nakatitig sa maganda niyang mukha at hindi nag-aalala na iba ang isipin niya kahit wiling wili ako sa aking ginagawa. She was so pretty kahit may lungkot pa ring natitira sa mga mata niya. Clear, soft-looking skin, long and delicate eyelashes, and lush lips that were naturally red. Ang ganda ng pagkakatangos ng kanyang ilong, iyong klase na ang sarap laruin ng sarili kong ilong o pingutin. But I didn’t know if we are okay to touch nang ganoon kahit pabiro lang. It was tempting, though.May sinasabi siya at nag-focus ako sa tinig niya.“Ewan ko. Feeling ko may kakampi akong malakas at matikas at ipagtatanggol ako kapag inapi na naman ako ng bastardong iyon.”Lumuwang ang ngisi ko. “You betcha. Hindi ka nag-iisa. Kapag nilapitan ka niya at tumingin lang siya ng kakaiba and I’m there, lagot siya sa akin.”“Talaga?” natatawa niyang tanong.Tumango ako. “Magkaibigan na tayo, ‘di ba? Kinain mo na ang luto ng nanay ko. We’re legit.”Hagikhik ang lumabas sa bibig niya. Nagniningning ang kanyang mga mata.I suddenly feel giddy.“Come,” sambit ko saka ako tumayo. Inabot ko sa kanya ang kamay ko. “Being creative yourself, bigyan mo ako ng feedback sa mga tapos ko nang paintings. This is going to be for an exhibit in…” Hinila ko siya mula sa kusina patungo sa work room ko. Pinakita ko sa kanya ang mga canvas na naka-clip pa sa sampayan at hindi pa naka-frame. Noong una, dinala ko siya roon para ma-distract. Pero the more she gushed and made credible feedback to my work, the more na ako ang nadi-distract sa kanya. “Gusto ko ang highlight ng colors sa petals ng hibiscus flowers mo. Itong yellow sa violet, lalo talagang nagpatingkad sa overall. And these roses… mas gusto ko pa itong painting makuha sa Valentine’s Day instead of the real ones! Unless they’re on pots. I really hate receiving cut flowers. Kahit anong ganda, they will die eventually. I rather like live plants.”Pagkasabi niya niyon, obvious na bigla na naman siyang nalungkot. Naalala na naman niya ang nobyo niyang tarantado.Naiinis ako na sinisira ng Keith na iyon ang mood ng sandali. Siguro kasi, kahit sinong makakakita kay Jenna ngayon, mabubwisit sa Keith na iyon.Nakatingin ako kay Jenna, sa lungkot sa maganda niyang mukha, sa poise ng kanyang pagkakatayo sa tabi ng oil painting ng Valentine Hibiscus, at hindi ko naiwasang hindi maisip ang isang posibilidad.Posible talaga. She’s got the face and the body. But… paano kung hindi siya pumayag?“You want to see the highlight of my Sweet Cupid Exhibition?” sabi ko bago ako matalo ng hiya. “Hindi pa tapos. It’s what I’m currently working on. Iyong ginagawa ko kanina, pahinga ko lang.”“Where is it? Are you sure ipapakita mo sa akin?”Tumango ako. And I realized I really feel comfortable about this. Iba kasi kapag ang nakakakita ay intended viewer kaysa fellow artist. I admired Jenna’s opinion enough that I didn’t feel she was mucking my creative space when she sees my unfinished work. “Kuhang kuha mo agad ang mga themes ng mga nakita mo na so maybe you can provide for me an input of this one, too, because it is giving me a headache.”Agad na nagbalik ang sigla sa mukha niya. “Saan?”“Dito,” sabi ko. Saka ko nilapitan ang isa pang easel na nakatalikod sa isang sulok. Sinadya ko iyon kasi private ang subject.Unang tingin pa lang ni Jenna sa painting, nakita kong namula ang kanyang mga pisngi. Pero hindi siya nag-iwas ng tingin. “This man here is you.”May hiya sa pagtawa ko. “It’s a bid… a challenge that I lost to my artist friends and this is their prize—punishment, really. That I will be the image of the man on my center piece. Pero kailangan ko nang isa pang subject for the female at wala pa rin akong mahanap na babaeng pwedeng gawing model na magiging katuwang nito.”“You’re… he’s looking at someone outside this side of the canvas… and you need someone to model for you for the remaining half…”Napangiti ako. “See? Nakuha mo agad ang intended ko without me having to explain?” Saka ako sumimangot ulit. “He’s looking at the woman he’s passionately in love with who should be on that other half, yes. Wala pa ako nung other half.”“Anong exactly scenario na maka-capture dito?” tanong niya.“They’ve just finished making love. The woman was getting up from the blanket on the grass and she’s supposed to be donning his robe to cover herself. Kailangan ko ng isang female na handang mag-pose for me naked, half into that robe.”“Hmm… of course.”Nangingiti ako. “The most intimate part would be covered like dito sa painting ko. But… breasts would be exposed...”“And you said wala ka pang subject?”“Wala pa,” sagot ko, gustong mag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya, dahil alam kong pareho lang kami nang iniisip.Namumula na rin ang mga pisngi niya. “Anong hinahanap mo sa babae?”“Physical appearance, kahit ano basta maganda sa mga mata. But… mas importante sa akin ang expressions sa mukha.”Nag-angat siya ng tingin, at nagtama ang aming mga mata. Para akong sinuntok sa solar plexus sa direktang titig niya. Hindi ako agad makahinga.Shit. That look. Vulnerability and shyness. But a lovely bloom on the cheeks and almost defiant look to those lovely, expressive eyes. That’s exactly what I needed. Napapikit ako.“Topher? Bakit?”Matapos ang isang sandali ay nagmulat ako at tumingin ako muli sa kanya habang nangingiti. “Jenna… did you do that deliberately?”Lalong namula ang kanyang mga pisngi. “Obvious ba na gusto kong maging ako ‘yung girl?”“You’ll fit in perfectly. But…”“But?” tanong niya.“Why will you want to do that?” tanong ko“Because you obviously want me to.”“A-ha-ha!” Napailing ako. “I know I want you to. I’m so sorry I can’t help it. Pero kung iyon lang ang dahilan… like you’re grateful for tonight—” “I am grateful for tonight so obviously, kasama na ‘yon sa reasons. I also feel reckless tonight with you and I want to maintain feeling like this. Alam mo pa ang mga nararamdaman ko? Vengeful. Angry, too,” enumerate niya. “And I need to express this out. I haven’t posed nude this before. It’s… I love feeling the challenge. And I am safe here with you. Right?”“You are,” sambit ko sa namaos biglang tinig. “Of course you are, Jenna,” ulit ko pa. She was emotional about it. And I have never seen anyone so beautiful, so perfectly like the model I needed for my painting. I decided then and there I’d not do anything to make her change her mind anymore. “I’ll take care of you.”Alam ko, aminado naman ako, na noon pa ay physically attracted na ako sa babaeng nasa harapan ko. At kaninang nasa kama ko siya just on her undies? God… aminado akong hindi ko napigil ang mga naisip kong nakakalibog. But something’s budding between us. And it would be universally stupid of me if I did something stupid that would hurt her and make her distrust me.Tumatango si Jenna, matapang na nakangiti. “Let’s do this, then.”At napangiti ako sa magkahalong relief at tuwa.JENNAMIDNIGHT.“It’s Christmas Eve!” sambit ni Topher nang marinig namin kapwa ang tunog ng grandfather clock habang sine-set up niya ang pose ko sa tabi ng armchair na hinila niya sa work room. At yes, may grandfather clock si Topher sa library ng bahay niya. And I really liked that clock. In fact, I like how he designed his place. Masculine, traditional, and yet may mga shades ng black and chrome na masculine na masculine. Kasing authentic nang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.I was back in the room where I woke up so I could get naked of the clothes I borrowed from him that night. Saka ko sinuot ang panlalaking robe na sabi niya ay itakip ko muna sa katawan ko at props sa pose ko. And now, it’s Christmas. Napabuntunghininga ako nang malalim. “Akala ko talaga darating ang Christmas Eve na wala akong pakialam sa season, or probably passed out. Mali ako. But I like the change. I like this.”Ngumiti siya. “Merry Christmas, Jenna,” sabi ni Topher habang bahagyang lumalayo. “Sorry, wala
JENNABUMAGSAK din ang panga niya, gaya kanina.Then his eyes darkened with the unchecked arousal. At napalunok ako. Kasi kung kanina, kung hindi ko man sinadyang nakita ang pagpitik ng pagnanasa sa mukha niya, ngayon ay ni hindi niya na iyon makontrol.“It’s been a long time?” tanong ko.Pipi siyang tumango.Ngumiti ako. “I haven’t seen any man look at me like that and it makes me really feel okay about my body now. Thank you.”Nag-angat sa mukha ko ang mga mata niya. “Jenna, I…” Lumunok siya. Pinanood ko ang pag-angat at pagbaba ng kanyang Adam’s apple. The hungry way he looked at me… I hungered for that, too.“You already know I wore my sexy underwear this morning for a reason?”Muli siyang tumango, saka napapikit nang mariin. At nabisto kong hindi siya naging ganoon entirely ka-successful sa pag-iiwas ng mga mata kaninang hinubaran niya ako nang marumi kong mga damit. Totoong meron siyang naramdaman.Yay!“Yes.” “I still want to do it, kahit it’s not the same man.”Napamulat
TOPHERAGAIN, she responded to the kiss so eagerly, and I groaned between our lips. Anything she did turned me on in a big way. Had I known we’d be in bed together when I was undressing her this afternoon? I had wanted her since then. I missed taking care of someone. I missed loving someone. I missed being in love, and making love with a woman like Jenna who, by her simple smile, could make my heart blossom like a plant long denied of water.And all these—my longing and hunger, I poured out to her. I kissed her deeply, and she gave back to me as hungrily, her tongue sensually playing with my tongue, her body rubbing against mine. I lifted myself from her and she knew. She opened her thighs and I placed myself between them. Ahh, her flesh felt warm to me. I couldn’t wait to take her. I rubbed my meat against her silken flesh and we both moaned. I growled against her skin. Ang sarap niya sa pakiramdam, hindi ko napigil ang aking sarili. I couldn’t stop kissing her but her breasts,
JENNAI WASN’T REALLY SURE how it was to go. I knew my first experience with a guy was sorely lacking – I didn’t cum then. I had to fake it so it would stop and anything else after that just didn’t matter. I was never excited enough. Lalo pang lumala noong mabisto ko ang panloloko.Kahit kay Keith, I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t forget.When Topher carried me to his bed, I was scared to disappoint him. But he kept kissing me and I was so excited like I had never been before, and I certainly knew he wasn’t a conman. Kasi hindi kami.We were basically both just reacting to the sexual tension we definitely feel since this started. When he got rid of his clothes, I couldn’t help but wonder about how good he looked, and how hot he moved. He was so confident and so warm, so sexy, that I could only feel what he was doing to me. The way he checked on me, connected as he kissed me, touched me, and when he went down there I was fascinated with how watchful he was of my every reaction. It was
JENNA I BECAME aware of Topher again after a long moment. He was still thrusting, but slower.“Topher…?” “Sshhh... give me a second to calm down a bit.”“Did you cum?” I asked, feeling ashamed for even not knowing. He still felt hard. Hindi man lang lumambot o lumiit.Umiling siya, pero nakangiti. “Ayokong matapos ito agad,” sabi niya. Saka siya umurong at lumabas.At nakangisi pa rin… bumaba siya roon.And he licked me, happily. It would have looked weird if it didn’t feel so good, and if watching him doing so while he watched me watch him wasn’t such a turn on. The act was so intimate, sandali akong napaisip kung hindi ba sa matagal nang lovers nangyayari ito, nararamdaman ito.Pero ni hindi ko ma-imagine itanong ito sa kanya. I didn’t want him to think that I needed more than this. I didn’t even want to think about this now. Gusto ko lang ma-excite lalo noong nakikita kong gumagapang na siya pabalik.“I’ll make you cum again,” pangako niya.Nakakahiya iyong parang iyak ng antisip
JENNAHE MOVED and I became aware. Not fully awake or right away, pero namalayan ko siya agad. Naging conscious ako agad sa posisyon namin sa pagtulog.It hadn’t changed since I fell asleep. His arms were still around me, my head was laying on one of his upper arm, his other arm was around my waist, and his other thigh was over one of mine, which was securely wedged between his. I was sleeping deeply and it wasn’t even my bed, nasurpresa akong naisip. Pero ni hindi ko nga ito prinoblema kanina bago kami matulog. There were times when I wasn’t comfortable in other beds. Actually, the only other bed that didn’t disturb me from sleeping were houses or any other places where my mother happened to be staying wherever in the world she happened to be at whenever I visited her. Bukod doon, namamahay ako. Kahit sa guestroom sa bahay ng Uncle Markus, hindi ako nakakatulog nang maayos.But I felt so comfortable here. And I was warm in his arms, covered by his naked body. I slept without a c
JENNANOONG BUMAGSAK ako at natunaw sa kanya, pumihit siya sa pagkakahiga hanggang sa nakatihaya na ako sa kanyang tabi, ang mga labi ko ay kulong sa mga labi niya, ang katawan niya ay nakakurba sa akin.Saka siya bumangon at sa sumunod na sandali ay nahila na niya ako, nakaangat na ang mga tuhod ko sa ere, at bumababa ang kanyang ulo sa pagitan ng aking mga hita.Napahingal ako. “Topher!” I thought that was going to be the first time. Nakukuha ko nang gusto niyang gawin iyon, lick me after I cum. And he was tender as he laved my clit with his tongue, sensitive as I was. The first time we made love, the first time he touched me there, he knew how much should be enough. He knew how to touch a woman. Hindi lalayo na alam din niya kung paano gamitin ang kanyang dila. Sa lahat ng bagay, naiiba siya talaga.Napaungol na lang akong parang kuntentong pusa habang patuloy siya sa paglaro at pagdila sa akin, slow movements that calmed me down. Pagkatapos niyon, pumuwesto siya at naramdaman k
TOPHERI WATCHED her as she walked inside the doors to the big hall, my hot and beautiful Christmas gift last night in a sexy and chic off-the-shoulder burgundy dress and high-heeled sexy and strappy stilettos. Jenna’s beauty and elegance made her glow tonight. Nakita ko pa ang pagkatulala sa mukha ni Keith noong pumihit ito at nakita ang babaeng pinaniniwalaan nitong fiancée pa rin nito, since he still didn’t know he’d been fired from that privilege. Kahit ako, hindi ko pa nakita si Jenna na ganito.And I felt proud of her… and of myself, dahil nakikita kong malayong malayo siya sa babaeng iniuwi ko sa bahay kahapon, drunk and defeated.Instead, she bloomed. Like a woman thoroughly loved. I might have helped put that beautiful blush on those cheeks. At gusto kong tumayo at bayuhin ang dibdib ko sa pagmamalaki.Gusto ko lang… nangingiti kong naisip. Jenna had always been pretty, but subtly, because she never deliberately tried to get attention to herself. Sa kabila niyon, napansin