CHAPTER 4

I found myself waking up with the same heavy feeling I felt two nights ago. It feels like it's weighing me down; I have no energy to go on with my day knowing I figured out about my husband's affair the hard way.

I stood up and went to the bathroom. I glanced at my reflection near the sink, and I almost couldn't recognize the person in front of me.

My eyes are red, like it's been burnt multiple times. I didn't even notice I cried myself to sleep last night. I thought I was okay because the dinner went so well… it turns out I was just suppressing my feelings last night to distract myself from the pain that both my husband and his mistress caused.

I clenched my fist. How dare they do such shameful things inside the house where we promised to grow old, loving each other?

I turned on the faucet and washed my face with its cold water.

I don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage. Even if I forgive him, which I won't, he'll do it again… just like my bastard father. I will never forget how gloomy and soulless my mother was when she found out my father cheated on her… not just once, not twice… but four times

I am stuck between choosing to divorce him and cause a huge outbreak in the industry, or remain quiet in order to protect both our careers but suffer miserably.

The thing about myself is that I hate being treated as a doormat. Damian's mother made me feel worthless every single time, and if I stayed quiet, Damian and his mistress would treat me like that as well. Just the thought of them makes me want to puke

The thing they did in our own bed is sickening. It keeps replaying in my head like an old playlist that doesn't let me skip it.

I've had enough of this feeling…

Today, I will settle this once and for all. If he wants to act like a single person and fool around with another woman, I will let him be.

I’m divorcing him.

It'll be hard for me since I genuinely loved him. I loved him to the point I will give every piece of my being to him. But, I refuse to be perceived as hopeless and pathetic. This is better… This will be better

After I washed myself and dressed up, I picked up my phone to call an old friend who happens to be divorce lawyer now. I knew him since college, we took the same class, until I dropped out to pursue my career as an actress.

It's been a while since I last saw him. ‘Cause the last time I saw him, I was working on our ‘Dreamscape’ movie where Damian and I starred. He gave me a business card just in case I might settle down one day and get divorce. I took it as a joke, but now looking back, I am glad he gave me his card.

I picked up his business card and looked at his information

Chim West Law Office

Name: Leon Kharl Bennett

Occupation: Family Law Divorce Attorney

Contact: +1 XXX XXX XXXX

I gripped tighter to his card as I dialed his number on my phone. My heart's racing fast. Later on, he finally answered

“Hey, Giselle!” He greeted over the phone, “I didn't expect your call today, what's up?”

I didn't answered. I remained silence, battling my own thoughts wether I'm making the right decision or not. Up until this very moment, I am more concerned on how this will affect my career and reputation than my marriage.

“Giselle?” he called my name again. I snapped out and smile

“Yes, I'm calling, Leon.” I uttered, “I would like to file a divorce.”

“Wait… you're getting a divorce?!” By the innotation of his voice, he seemed flabbergasted. “You're married to Damian Miller, right?”

“Yeah, I am,” I stated

“Isn't your marriage is the so called ‘perfect marriage’? At least that's what the social media perceives it.” He stated, “What happened? Would you like to talk about this matter over coffee?”

“Sure, I'm available today.”

“Alright, I'll send you the address.” he stated.

“Thank you, Leon,” I uttered before I hung up the phone. A moment later, he texted me the address.

I walked out of the room after grabbing my purse, my jacket and face mask. I can't let the public know I'm filling up for divorce, not yet. Not until everything's settled.

“Mom, I'll go out for a while.” I stated to my mom after spotting her having tea while reading a book in the dining room

She shifted her attention and glanced at my direction, then asked, “Where are you going?”

I sighed, and gave her a faint smile, “I’ll be seeing a divorce lawyer today. I thought about it and I've decided that letting him go could be a right decision instead of suffering even further.”

She stood up and gave me a warm embrace, “I am so glad you're standing up for yourself, honey. I'm so proud of you.” she whispered

I hugged her back. Right now, this is the only thing I want. A comfort from the person who understands me.

“You go now, I'll be waiting for you here.” She stated after breaking our hug, she caressed my cheeks. “Be careful, okay?”

“I will, mom.” I smiled, “Thank you… for everything,”

We exchange embraced one last time before I went to the coffee shop to meet Leon.

As soon as I arrived there, I looked around, trying to find him. However, all I could see was some people typing something on their laptops. I was about to text them when suddenly someone tapped my shoulder. I jolted and immediately turned around, only to find Leon behind me, smiling from ear to ear

“Sorry, did I surprised you?” he asked

“Sort of.” I chuckle, “I thought you were someone else.”

“I'm sorry I was a little bit late for our meeting. I went to fill up my gas.” He explained

“Don't worry, I just got here too.” I smiled.

“Well, shall we?” He asked and went ahead to find a seat where we could have a chat without everyone hearing us. "I'm going to order our drinks first, what would you like?"

"Macchiato's fine." I briefly answered. He nodded his head before proceeding to the counter to order.

I sat down on the secluded table of the coffee shop, waiting for him. My hands started fidgeting, as I am still unsure if I can carry on now that my marriage is in shambles.

A few minutes later, he came back and sat in front of me. “So, why are you filing a divorce for your husband?” He asked

“I saw him cheating with my own two eyes. They had… sex in our bedroom…” I uttered

He paused before typing to his laptop. He awaits me to continue my words, but it seems like my heart won't cooperate with my mouth. I didn't look at him, I could feel my eyes forming tears beneath my sunglasses.

"I... I just want to... end the marriage with him as soon as I can." I added. Holding back the tears as the memories of us together until I saw him fucking another woman flashes back into my head.

He looked at me. "I see. Have you told him about this yet? You divorcing him?" he asked. I immediately shook my head.

"I haven't. I'm afraid to see him right now." I muttered.

Before he could even answer, our orders arrived. He shifted his expression and smiled at the waitress who gave us our coffee. As soon as the waitress leaves, his expression changes again as he looks at me.

"Why are you scared of seeing him again when he's the one who has done you wrong?" he asked. It hit me. Hard.

"Because..." I uttered, "It feels like I was the only one in love the whole time. I felt... betrayed..."

He carefully patted my shoulder, "Don't worry, Giselle. I will do my best to give you my service. You're making the right decision to leave him. You're a tough person, I know you will handle this bravely." he uttered, "I will process the papers as soon as I can."

I smiled at him, "Thank you..." I uttered. He only gave me a smile back. Right now, my heart feels slightly lighter.