Betrayal always offers the choice: Bitter or Better? After her sister's death, wedding cake artist Milli Velvet Haywood left her busy life in Vegas behind; Hoping for a new beginning in the small town resort community of Pagosa Cliffs, Colorado. But with a newstart comes challenges. Her attempt to return to her old life brings a different set of dangers. Can she move forward and be better? Or will the bitterness of her life sour her future chances at happiness and love. This story is all about choices. It is about overcoming versus succumbing.
view moreA six-year-old Milli Velvet struggled to carry her baby brother Duran. She had to run; she had to get away from their mother, Diva Divina Velvet before she killed them too. Her brother was limp in her aching arms as she ran out into the street to get away from the drunk monster screaming and staggering after them. Car tires squealed as Milli fell down. She was sure they were going to die, about to be squished like the neighbor’s cat. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact.
Suddenly, there were people, then ambulances, and police cars all around her. Her face and head hurt from where her mother had hit her when she tried to stop her from striking a crying and feverish Duran. As the people tried to help her and her baby brother, her mother was carrying on like she did on the day her sister Roxie was murdered. Strangers who didn’t know the truth tried to comfort Milli’s mother. The EMTs rushed Duran away in one ambulance and Milli away in another.
Dr. Emily Haywood smiled tenderly down at Milli as she woke up on a white hospital bed. Her soft blue eyes were sad and relieved at the same time.
“Hello again, Milli. I haven’t seen you in a long time. How are you other than the whole hit by a car thing?”
“My arm hurts, Dr. Emily,” Milli whimpered. “And…”
“And what, precious?” Dr. Emily’s voice was the most soothing sound Milli had ever heard.
Milli wondered if she talked the way a good mother would. After Roxie’s death, in Milli’s dreams, Dr. Emily was the soft voice who always comforted her and said she loved her.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Milli’s voice cracked with emotion.
“You can tell me anything, I’m your doctor,” Dr. Haywood smiled tenderly. She was certain she already knew what the child would say, but what tiny Milli Vanilli Velvet told her, shocked and enraged her. It was far worse than the gentle pediatrician had ever imagined, and she wanted nothing more than to save the poor child from her suffering and give her a life of joy and love as every child deserves and decided right then and there to adopt Milli.
* * *
One year later...
The judge looked over the paperwork and signed it. “Dr. Haywood, the court sees no reason to decline the petition for adoption of Milli Velvet considering the recent legal case involving her biological mother and the revelation of the circumstances of her childhood. As a judge on this case, I find a pediatrician and child psychologist to be the best candidate to become her parents. Congratulations, I hope your daughter enjoys having a sister.”
Milli and her new sister Marnianne screamed their happiness as they hugged and jumped up and down.
“Thank you, your honor.” Emily wiped away a happy tear, as Charles attempted to shush the exuberant girls. Finally, the Haywoods’ become the proud parents of Milli Velvet, now Haywood.
* * *
Fifteen years later...
Her sister Marni’s shriek had Milli crawling out of bed and rushing out of her room with Sheila, her trusty baseball bat, in hand. The red aluminum bat was enough of a deterrent to getting most men to leave and the way Milli held it said she meant business, but truthfully, she had hit nothing but baseballs and softballs with Sheila. In high school, she had played fast-pitch softball, she even lettered in it. She was a good catcher, a fair hitter, but her advantage was her size. Her strike zone was so small, most pitchers couldn’t thread the needle to get her out. She would get walked to first and then her speed got her around the corner to third. Milli had held the highest on-base percentage in the history of their high school. So, when she held her bat, she looked like she could take someone’s head off without a moment’s hesitation.
Clutching the bat like a lifeline, Milli crept through the house, checking all the rooms for intruders. They were alone. As she approached the bathroom, she could hear what sounded like muffled crying. Milli pushed open the bathroom door and Marni was sitting on the lid of the toilet, crying. “What the heck, Marni? I have to get up for work in a few hours. Why are you home? Speaking of which, how did you get home? Omigawd, please tell me you didn’t drive someone else's car here.”
Marni wiped her eyes with some toilet paper and blew her nose. Her fair skin was blotchy and red like she had been crying for a while. “Shimmer drove me. I got sick at work. They can’t have me twirling around a pole and spewing my guts on the customers.”
“Okay, as long as you didn’t drive. Do you need some soup or tea? Maybe you should go to the doctor for whatever this bug is. You’ve been sick for close to a month,” Milli worried aloud.
“It’s not the flu,” Marni said miserably. She held up something small and white. "It's something else I wanted."
Milli stared at the pregnancy test, then at her sister, then back at the test. “You’ve got to be freaking kidding me!”
“It doesn’t matter now…” Marni stood up slowly and tossed the pregnancy test in the trash. “We don’t need them.”
Milli gaped at her sister in shock. “Marnianne! Y-you have t-to call him. Heith deserves to know he’s going to...”
“Forget it, Milli. We’ll probably never see them again. They are gone and good riddance.” Marni stormed out of the bathroom and went into the kitchen.
Frustrated, Milli followed and slammed Sheila on the counter, and the aluminum bat chimed like a bell throughout the quiet room. Milli had to take several calming breaths before she started making tea for two. In four hours, Milli had to be at the Famous Vegas Cakery and she knew she had three cakes, for three June 1st weddings, chilled and waiting to be decorated.
Marni sat at their small table, hugging herself. “It will be fine.”
Milli set a warm mug in front of Marni. “Sis, I know the way Heith left to go to his grandfather’s funeral was hard and you guys had a big fight, but he’ll come back. He loves you… you’re too beautiful not to love. And the baby will only make him love you more.”
Marni looked at Milli with the strangely haunted look she had gotten so many times since their parents died in a carjacking. “I want to tell him in person, promise me you won’t tell him or Edgar. I want to tell them both together.”
“Okay, if you want to break the news in person, that’s fine,” Milli agreed.
Then Marni took Milli’s face in her hands, Marni’s hands always felt so cool and soft. ‘Cold hands, warm heart’, was something their mother always said.
“Milli, my heart’s broken. Promise me you’ll take care of my baby if anything happens, that you’ll love it the way you have always loved me,” Marni begged.
“Nothing is going to happen to you. Heith and Edgar will come home after they get things settled after the funeral and we’ll all be happy again.” Milli insisted but Marni just shook her head in disbelief.
“We’ll go to the clinic tomorrow and get you checked, then I’ll buy those pregnancy vitamins for you.” Milli grinned excitedly, then danced around the kitchen trying to pull her sister out of her gloomy mood by singing. “I’m going to be an Auntie!”
“You’re so silly.” Marni laughed at her sister who always acted the clown to hide her worry and to cheer Marni up, but Milli didn’t know about the secrets hiding behind Marni's sadness.
* * *
The day before Thanksgiving….
In the cold crisp air of the Colorado Rockies, Milli parked her rental van in front of the quaint Wild Anemone Bed and Breakfast. The Victorian-era hotel had been converted to a home for a few short years and then remodeled once more into accommodations for visitors to the local hot springs. Snow-covered flowerbeds filled the front yard. The place glowed warm and inviting in the early evening light. Milli’s great-great-aunt Elizabeth was standing on the porch with a pair of women. Two teen girls and two men, one older and one younger, were unloading the boxes from her moving pod into one of the three cottages. Milli got out and carefully lifted baby Emily out of her car seat. The younger of the two women lifted the cat carrier out of the back. Inside, Aunt Elizabeth and her friend cooed over Emily, immediately taking her from Milli.
The younger lady smiled warmly, “Since the gramma’s are busy, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Camille Wallace. That’s my Gramma Dorine. My cousin Beau and Grandpa Ben are unloading the pod with my girls, Willow and Gracie.”
“Milli Row... uh, Haywood.”
Camille smiled sympathetically, “Sorry for your divorce and loss. My sister died giving me Willow. I know things are painful, but you’re not alone, and if you ever need someone to talk to...”
Milli felt her chin tremble and tears burned in her eyes for the hundredth time since she left Vegas, but she refused to cry. The pain of Marni’s betrayal burned like a fever in her veins. “Thank you, Camille.”
“So... let me show you what we got set up for you. Gramma Dorine and Ms. Elizabeth have had all of us working night and day to get this ready. Our school gets the whole week of Thanksgiving off and the girls may have gone a little crazy in the nursery.”
Milli glanced over to where Elizabeth sat in a rocker holding Emily. Dorine smiled at them before shooing them off, “Go. This little angel will be just fine.”
Several cars slowed as they passed, the drivers looking or more accurately staring at them; it seemed odd to Milli that she was big news and hadn’t even been in town for an hour yet. Looking over at the cottage, Milli saw the girls and two men unloading the van. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing to draw attention. They hurried through the snow to the small cottage which usually served as a seasonal rental. It was decorated in muted tones of butter and cream, Milli’s deep red floral furniture looked better than it ever had at her drab white rental. Marni’s old cat Punkin mewled and complained about being left in the carrier. Camille’s daughters begged with identical sapphire blue eyes to hold the allegedly neglected feline. Camille showed her around the small house while Punkin was lavished with attention. The bedroom was sparse, Milli needed to buy a new bed.
A large man who resembled Camille looked up from setting down a box labeled ‘clothes’. “Ma’am.”
“Beau, this is Milli Haywood, Ms. Elizabeth’s niece. Can you bring in the bed and we’ll finish setting up the bedroom?” Camille asked.
Milli turned about three shades of red in humiliation and suppressed anger, before she stammered, “I… I d-don’t have one.” They looked at her quietly as she blurted out in a rush, “I need to go buy one. My ex cheated on me in our bed and I couldn’t bear to bring it with me.”
Camille nodded solemnly, offering, “I’m afraid nothing will be open tomorrow but if you are brave enough to face Black Friday, I can take you to the city day after tomorrow.”
Milli smiled wanly. “Marni loved Black Friday; she didn’t sleep from midnight to midnight. She would drag me all over the place. She always had lists and…and…” Then her breath caught in her throat, thinking about never facing the crowds with her crazy shopaholic sister hurt, but the memory of finding those pictures on Marni’s phone made Milli despise her sister more.
Camille handed Milli a tissue before she realized she had tears running down her face. “My sister, Willamina liked the Black Friday sales too.”
“You women are insane.” Beau’s voice rumbled deep in his chest. “Ain’t no shoes worth all that craziness, now maybe a 72-inch flat-screen, but that’s only if the Broncos are headed back to the Super Bowl...”
Milli and Camille burst out laughing at his statement. It was such a guy thing to say.
“Where you at, Wally?” A masculine tenor called from the living room.
“Back here, Tank,” Camille called out.
“Wally?” Milli was confused.
“Everyone calls me Coach Wally. I teach swimming and diving at the community center; I also coach the school competition teams. And That’s Tank Tanner, he’s our sheriff. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”
Milli followed Camille into the living room and was introduced to a man who was not what she expected for a small-town sheriff. He was, for lack of a better term, devastatingly handsome. Milli had to remind her jaw to stay closed, because, with the way he looked at Camille, she knew she would never have a chance. It was the way men had always looked at Marni. If she wasn’t dead, Marni would have called dibs on him in a heartbeat and probably not even charged him ‘her usual fees’, Milli thought resentfully. After a polite introduction, Milli busied herself in the kitchen putting things away as she said a rosary in her head as penance for her hateful thoughts.
Beau leaned on the counter after setting down a box. “That’s the last of it, darlin’.”
Milli just nodded, eyeing the box that was supposed to be left in the trash in Vegas. She hated every piece of lingerie in it and the person who gave it to her more than anyone in the world.
“Sorry about your divorce. Ms. Elizabeth told Gramma the low-down dirty coyote didn’t even have the balls to tell you in person, just sent his mom’s secretary. And that he was cheating on you too, that’s a real scoundrel. So, you’re a baker?”
Small towns always meant gossip or at least that’s what Milli had always been told. “Yes, they did; yes, he was, and yes I am,” she answered tightly, her temper flaring.
He held up his hands in a surrender motion, “Sorry to poke the bear.”
Milli sighed, she needed to remember she couldn’t be her normal snarky city self here. “No, it’s fine. I’ve just had a rough couple of weeks.”
He chuckled, “Rough? You got served with divorce papers the day your sister died and left you with a newborn. You had it even worse than Cam. If you need anything, or if that dog shows up here, you call the ranch. There’s a lot of places out there where a person can get eaten by the bears and I have no tolerance for men who treat pregnant women, or any woman for that matter, so poorly.”
“My grandson has my agreement on that.” Grandpa Ben held out his hand to her. “Ben Wallace, Ridgeline Ranch... I hear you make a lovely red velvet cake. Dorine invited you and your aunt out to the ranch tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner, I can’t wait to try it.” His hazel eyes twinkled with the certainty that not only would they come, but that she would bake a cake for him.
Milli nodded mutely, then watched the Wallaces leave her kitchen. Gracie or Willow popped their head in. “We’re leaving, Ms. Milli, see you tomorrow.”
“Welcome to Pagosa Cliffs,” Camille called out, followed by a chorus of welcomes, and moments later, Milli was finally alone in the little cottage. Looking at the clock, it felt later than it was, even with the time difference.
Milli picked up the unlabeled box and carried her unmentionables into her bedroom. If she ever returned to Vegas, she would murder Jackson and Mitch for sticking that particular box in the moving van. She flicked on the light across the hall. Aunt Elizabeth and Camille’s girls had set up a nursery for Emily. Flowers and butterflies were hand painted all around the room spreading out from a mountain-surrounded meadow. The Queen of the Fairies looked like Marni however, and Milli wanted to scrub it off the wall, but she didn’t because it looked like a professional muralist had done it.
“Gracie does good work.”
Milli jumped at Elizabeth’s voice. “Sorry, it’s just so quiet here.”
“You need somewhere quiet, Milli. I am glad you came here.” Elizabeth laid a sleeping Emily in the crib and put her arm around her grandniece. “It’s been a hard time for you, and so much has happened since your parents were killed. But Emily Anne always said you were strong. While you were in the kitchen, I had Beau and Ben put a mattress in your room. Gracie and Willow dressed the mattress. I heard that you and Coach Wally are going to brave the Black Friday sales?”
Milli nodded, feeling too tired to talk, as Elizabeth led her back across the hall and tucked her in. Milli thought it must be the altitude making her so sleepy. Elizabeth sat beside her, running her old fingers through Milli’s tangle of curls until she fell asleep. The elderly woman talked randomly about all the people in Pagosa Cliffs Milli had yet to meet. Listening to stories about people she didn’t know was better than thinking about what had transpired during the ten months before her 23rd birthday, and the two men she never should have trusted or allowed into her and Marni’s lives.
The Sequel: Wild Anemone is coming soon. Hello friends,I'm Mama Magie Ward. A farm mom and author who started writing as part of my stroke recovery.We walk together in the penumbra, a space of partial illumination between the shadow and the light.Mine are stories about and for those who face overcoming or succumbing.Reality turned to fiction as a coping mechanism. There will be triggers for survivors. Some of the beginnings, middles and endings are not what I would wish on anyone. But sadly, these are the truths many have to overcome. We are all sisters and brothers; we have choices in a world that teaches us we are objects. You are not alone.I encourage you to seek healing if you need it.There is always the choice... Be Better, not bitter.Thank you for considering my scribbles. Be Blessed.F******khttps://www.f******k.com/authormmwardI****thttps://www.i****t.com/penumbraminetwitter
Superintendent Patrick had asked Milli for her number again at Ben Wallace’s funeral. Milli had been frozen in place for a moment with Emily on her hip, looking for Aunt Elizabeth. She had handed over one of the Wild Anemones business cards without hesitation and agreed to make 1000 simple vanilla cupcakes and a specialty cake for a raffle.It had taken her two days of baking in her oversized double oven, in the oven of the single bedroom cottages and the oven in the Anemone. Running between the four buildings in the wind and snow was annoying and cold. Now, she had only to decorate the last of them and deliver them today.While her mixers hummed, making more buttercream frosting, Milli rolled out fondant and stamp-cut hearts out of the sheets. Each heart made her think of Lloyd’s tattoo. She groaned in her head; she liked him a lot, but obviously, the feeling wasn’t mutual. He made her feel things she didn’t understand, things different from wh
Lloyd’s soul ached like when he had lost his Uncle Ray, and worse than the times they had lost men in combat. It ached because the man they were gathered to say goodbye to meant as much to him as his grandfather and great-uncle. Ben had been a fixture in the community for his whole life and he had died as a hero in Lloyd’s book. He didn’t look anywhere except at the clear sky above the minister’s head. He didn’t hear the words the minister said, and the words of Amazing Grace, and Sweet By and By, came out without a thought as he sang the hymns. He saluted when they played Taps for Ben who had served with distinction and earned several medals including the Navy Cross. Afterward, he watched Tonia pretending to be distraught, and Tim doing his best to ignore her and pay attention to Tiana. He wasn’t surprised when they all went inside to have a memorial meal together, but Tonia had left. Milli was offering cake to the Wallace family when Molly squeezed his ar
The wind raged through the trees above him. Lloyd was about to call out when he heard the whistle from the overgrowth under a large cedar, it was a place sheltered from the oncoming storm. Lloyd pushed away the overgrowth of limbs and fallen branches, there he saw Beau was leaning against the trunk, the whistle in his mouth. He seemed asleep; he inhaled slowly and blew a loud blast. Ben was lying next to him, his shoulder ripped open, his skin ashen. Lloyd knew Ben was dead. Ben’s coat was draped over Beau’s legs. Lloyd crawled in, “Beau, I’m here.” Lloyd lifted the bloody coat off his friend’s leg. It was a mangled mess. A belt was tightened above his knee. Lloyd had seen a wound like this before. The driver in an APV ahead of him had suffered the same injury when they ran over an IED, he hadn’t made it. Lloyd knew that the tourniquet would cost Beau his leg, but it may have saved his life. “Hang on, Beau. I am going to get you out of here.” Lloyd cr
When they got back to Pagosa County, Lloyd drove to the Ridgeline Ranch as he promised. Milli got out in the starting snow and was shocked when Camille’s girls rushed out, looking scared. “Girls, where is everyone?” Lloyd demanded seeing the scared girls and led them inside. “We don’t know, Deputy McConnell. Mom and Gramma Dorine rode out to look for Grandpa Ben and Beau when Cajun and Poncho came home alone.” Willow’s chin trembled as Gracie added further, “Mom thinks something bad happened...” and her tears started to fall. Lloyd instantly knew something bad had happened and called his grandfather about bringing the horses and everyone on hand from the Rocking M over to Ridgeline Ranch. They needed to start a manhunt before the weather got worse and someone died. Milli shifted nervously, holding Emily close. “Is that really a thing here? To ride out looking for a bear?” She looked confused and terrified as she asked Lloyd, “Why would they go looking
Milli was up before dawn. Peeking in Lloyd’s room, she saw sprawled out on the bed in his boxers. Empty bottles from the mini-bar covered the night table. On one shoulder was a military tattoo, and in the center of his chest was a heart with a lettered ribbon. ‘ANTONIA’ was written there. It looked like an old tattoo, one that had spent years over his heart. She scowled as he rolled over onto his side, exposing his back. He was covered in scars and a few had come from bullets. She had grown up in the Vegas ghetto until she was 6, then had a close friend who was a cop and another who was a cop’s son, so she knew what those wounds looked like when they healed. She was glad Lloyd was out of the military and working in a county as small as Pagosa. His life was safe now, but his spirit was another story. Tonia had crippled it. Sitting by the bed, a plan quickly formed in her mind, Milli logged into the hotel’s wi-fi. She found the shop she was looking for in minutes and snapped a
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