Chapter 1 : Lost Wolf

Everyone gets their wolf when they turn eighteen.

But on my eighteenth birthday, I lost mine.

***

Steam rose from the pot of stew I was stirring. I watched the wisps tangle and dance as they ascended toward the night sky. I shivered a little when the steam tickled my bare arms, causing the hairs on them to rise. It felt good in a strange way, even though the warmth from our dinner made the cold on the rest of my body more obvious.

I fought back another shiver, straightening and focusing on the task at hand. Uncle Ben would be back from his hunting trip at any moment and he would likely be painfully famished after a full day of finding food for us. I couldn’t let something like the weather keep me from putting warm food in his stomach.

I needed to be strong. Soon, I would be a child no longer. Tonight, when the moon was at its highest point in the sky, I would be eighteen years old.

I stared down into the pot of stew, watching the chunks of meat float in the murky broth. It was hard to believe that Uncle Ben and I had been living in these woods, on our own, for almost six years.

My chest contracted when I thought back to that fateful day when everything we loved was wrenched away from us.

My parents, and my pack, were taken from us in one terrifying instant. My Uncle Ben raised his voice at me for the first time ever, after he dragged me away from our burning home. “That’s enough, Claire. You’re not going back there!”

We became rogues that night, and Uncle Ben had been my only companion ever since.

The smell of the brewing food in front of me snapped me back to the present. I covered the now-finished stew with a sign.

At least, I should be grateful that Uncle and I had one another. As long as he was with me, I would be okay.

Suddenly, rustling bushes and heavy footsteps approached quickly.

“Uncle Ben!”I smiled and turned around. “You’re back!”

As expected, Uncle burst through the shrubbery. I leaped at him, despite him still being in wolf form, and gave him a hug.

“It’s getting late and I was a bit worried,” I said with relief, my face buried into the thick, warm fur on his neck. “I’ve made your favorite stew for dinner. Ready for my birthday party?”

Silence.

“Uncle?” I pulled away a little to look at him, an ominous cloud shielded the moon. My heart started pounding against my chest when I still got no response from him.

Then, he slumped against me and collapsed.

“Claire…” he panted before a pained whimper went through his large body. It was not until then I noticed a dark patch quickly spreading on his side.

I gasped, “Uncle, what happened?!”

“Rogue…” he murmured. We were rogues, but other rogues were just as dangerous to us as to anyone else. Uncle was a strong man but he wasn’t invincible. Our luck finally ran out.

My shaking hands traced the outer edge of the patch. My breath stopped when I saw red had stained my fingers.

No.

I had to stop the bleeding! Rushing over to my tent, I snatched a thick blanket and dashed back as quickly as my feet would take me.

He had phased back. The giant, furry brown wolf was gone. In its place was the man who had been nothing short of a father to me these last several years. He looked so small. His breathing was labored, his bare chest rising and falling as he bled steadily.

I swallowed the sob that wanted to burst from my lips.

“You’re going to be okay!” My heart stopped, but I pressed on, helping him hobble into his tent and dragging him onto his sleeping mat.

I laid him down carefully before rummaging through some of the medicine we kept on hand, gripping one of the tiny bottles tightly as I assessed the large gash on his side. Blood streamed in thin rivers from the torn skin.

“You’re gonna be okay,” I chanted, trying to convince him and myself, but tears started to drip from my cheeks.

Uncle placed a hand over my arm, somehow gripping me firmly. “Claire, I’m getting so tired.”

I gritted my teeth together. “Stay awake, Uncle,” I ordered. “Stay with me.”

“Claire…” he gasped. “Please, I don’t…don’t think I have much… time.”

I shook my head hard, adding pressure to the blanket against his wound only to see his blood immediately soaked through it. “Don’t talk like that,” I tried to say lightly. I reached for another blanket and once again, he grabbed my arm.

“Claire…” His voice was fading.

My hands froze and I looked down at him. His deep brown eyes held mine. The pain was gone from his gaze though he was still bleeding heavily. “I wish … I could stay until you are of age. I so want to meet … your wolf. I have no … no doubt tha t… she’ll be as brave and … and strong as you are.”

My voice shook. “You’ll still be here. I’m going to meet her tonight.”

He chuckled, but his breathing started to quicken. His hand slid down my arm so that it could grip mine. “L-listen, take care of yourself…Be the brave girl I know you are. Do whatever it takes to survive.”

I gripped his hand, bringing it up to my cheek. The gravity of what was happening was finally slamming into me. “I don’t want to be alone. I want to be with you, Mama, and Papa again.”

“No!” he said firmly, seeming to use what little strength he had left to harden his gaze. “You must survive… It isn’t your time to…to go. You are our…our only hope.”

Panic was starting to settle. I croaked, “What am I supposed to do on my own?”

Uncle was fading quickly, his eyes starting to become glassy. “Stay…alive… and you must…must find him!”

I shook my head fiercely. I had no idea who he was referring to, nor did I care at this point. I didn’t want to hear any of these words. I just wanted Uncle to live.

“Pro…promise me!” he demanded.

I squeezed his hand tightly, letting my tears drip on our interlaced fingers. “I will, Uncle.”

He rasped, but the corner of his lips curled up slightly and he closed his eyes.

Tears flooded out and soaked my cheeks. I kept my grip on his hand, even when I sobbed loudly, and laid my head against his unmoving chest, just as I used to do when I was a small child and needed comforting.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed when my body started to tingle. I whipped my head up and wiped off the tears from my blurry eyes.

The full moon was starting to peek out from behind the clouds.

I sucked in a breath.

Uncle Ben, were you watching? It was time. I was going to meet my wolf.

WE were going to meet my wolf.

With one last sob, I kissed Uncle’s hand and then his cold cheek before I stood up, my eyes locked on the glowing moon above me.

My body began to shake as I stood in the middle of our tiny campsite. I stretched my arms out wide, allowing the moonlight to bathe me, making me tremble more violently, feeling as if my chest was about to burst.

The pressure throughout my body was almost overwhelming, suddenly as if it wasn’t my own any more. A sweet, female voice began to hum through my mind. I felt light as if I was floating.

Eyes closed, I let the strange, comforting warmth wash over me. The shaking began to grow faster and my bones were rattling.

I gasped when a loud howl filled my ears before it was cut off abruptly.

Then the pressure and strength building inside my body suddenly dissipated. Just like that, gone, in an instant.

Only cold emptiness was left behind as if everything I just felt was only my imagination.

Ice ran down my spine, chilling me to the bone. I couldn’t breathe.

Had I shifted? Where was my wolf? Why couldn’t I sense her now?

Panic turned into fear and shook me to the core. It took all my courage to open my eyes again.

I was still at the cold, dark campsite, Uncle Ben’s body still at my feet.

I was still sobbing like the useless, helpless little girl I was.

I looked down at myself, at my shaking, bare arms.

My very human arms.

On my eighteenth birthday, I lost the only person I could depend on in the world and the only hope I could survive on my own.