In my right ear, a long beeping sound is heard that is annoying, but, I dare not move even a little let alone touch my affected part. Because the woman who gave me life, has left me without the possibility of moving.
My mother, she is not one of the women who uses violence to teach a lesson. My family usually talks things out or at worst threatens, but, it doesn't hit. The times my mother hit me it was as a joke.
That is, to walk close to her and spank me or to hit me on the arm because she is laughing too much, or to hit me on the side of my body, with her elbow so that I react because they are talking to me and I am lost in my thoughts.
There are many ways where physical contact was present, but none compares to this. I was not the perfect child, but, having grown up in a house with a forest and having a nanny as my shadow, there was no reason to be beaten.
But, since recently, my mother has used the blows to make me notice that she does not agree with
The hours pass and I do not move from my place, so, the snow falling from the sky almost completely covers my entire body. As I am a white color, I camouflage perfectly with this one, therefore, I seriously think about staying here to sleep.The good thing about winter is that most of the predators are wintering, so, I have the forest to myself. Here I don't have to hide my pregnancy, much less take care that someone doesn't see me crying or see my expressions worried about everything I'm going through.But, the pain of my mother's stroke doesn't go away, nor does the worry of what may be happening at the Evaniff Mansion. Because if my mother has already told my secret, most likely my father is looking for me everywhere, while my brothers are barely notified or maybe they are already with their respective partners looking for me everywhere.‘They must be very worried about me. I think it will be best to face the situation.’ I tell myself mentally getting up from the ground and then sh
Worried about not knowing what to do, I walk from one side to the other with my towel still on. I know that a pregnancy cannot be done alone and that like me, he must take his responsibility, but, I don't feel comfortable calling him, after everything that happened or what didn't happen, I don't know.“Anyway, no matter how much I do something, it can't be worse than it already is.” I say taking the phone I bought days ago, to call the phone I know by heart.With trembling hands, I type the keys that emit a sound that causes me pain, swallowing hard, I bring my finger closer to the part where when pressing I call, but, as much as I know where I should direct my finger, I am not able to do it.I have a lot of things repressed in my chest, so many truths to shout at him, that I'm afraid of breaking down when I hear that voice that I've tried hard to forget and all I've managed to do is miss him.“Don't think about it, ignore your own feelings that he causes at the possibility of hearing
The next dayMy eyes look too swollen from crying so much, so, I put cold spoons around me and ice when I place to cool the spoons. However, my swelling does not decrease, nor does the worry I feel that everything will get more complicated.My parents are not there, neither are my brothers, but, the calm I am living now, is only the possible calm before the chaos, after all, the daughter and heir of the Russian mafia boss, has been humiliated.“Just calm down a little, if you don't stress so much, the baby will suffer and you won't solve any problems.” I tell myself trying to calm down.In the confinement to which I have submitted myself, I watch television, not knowing where to move and what is worse, what to do. In order not to feel lonely, I turn on the TV, wishing to raise my mood.But, nothing gives me the calm that I implore and although I do my academic works, I do not enjoy them as before. Annia's words come to my mind and that's why, I'm not able to think about anything other
I remain silent, I have not the slightest intention of talking about what clearly hurts me. So, I try to fall asleep, although with everything I've slept, it's not possible for me.“Rain, I need us to do this together, because I can't do it alone.” says my mother and I stay silent.I don't want to look like a capricious girl, but, I have no interest in talking about what all these days, has been tormenting me. I am tired and the truth is, talking about it I will feel more exhausted.“The best thing is that we talk about what happened yesterday.” says my mother, then taking a deep sigh “Leave us alone for two hours. When they come back, she'll be ready.”The women leave and everything is left in an overwhelming silence, where I can't rest even a little. So, I stay motionless wishing that my mother believes that I am asleep.“You've been through a lot and I ruined it a lot more yesterday.” says my mothe
My mother hugs me tightly and starts crying with me. It's not a sweet hug, if not, as if clinging to the body that wants to faint and gave me a little pity. Because even that doesn't make me forget my idea of dying.‘I'm tired physically and mentally. So, I feel like nothing is going to save me.’ I tell myself mentally.In my mind I make a count of everything that happened in my life lately and that only overwhelms me more, confirming that the best thing is to disappear. With me then every problem would die and if it wasn't like that, then, I wouldn't be alive to see the chaos that would be formed because of me.“I'm not going to let you collapse, Rain. I know I didn't react in the best way yesterday, but, after calming down a bit and taking things in, I understood. I can't ask you to give up your baby and I regret asking you to.>> Like you said giving up your baby is like giving up your own life, just like you're doing now and th
If there is something that I have to admit, it is that my mother is having a lot of patience to deal with me and that makes me feel confident at least a little bit. There is no longer the rude woman, much less the impulsive one who hit me yesterday, but instead, there is the gentle mother who always spoiled me when I was little.As he has asked me, I take the first step, which is to take the glove and start lathering up. Although I know that that does not give the solution to what is mortifying me, at least, I am doing something different other than immersing myself in my own misery.My mother claps a little and gets out of the shower, to look at me from outside, thanks to the transparent walls. Soon I start to prepare everything for my departure while I take my time to lather up all.As I did previously. he let the water completely wet me, erasing all traces of soap on me and I sigh deeply, knowing that I must face a rather big struggle” the struggle to survive
My mother's words, they start to take on a meaning surprising me. Because it is true what he says, since, what did not seem to have an entrance or exit, was solved without him noticing it.I just entertained myself with what I want to live, music or a mixture of both. So, I didn't notice when I cleaned everything. Without knowing what to clean my room, it was a big breakthrough, I did it and now I feel better.“So, what else do we have to do?” I ask and my mother smiles at me.“Let's dance a little, there's still a lot of tension and dancing is a pretty good therapy.” says my mother, playing jazz music where she dances with me, as she did when I was a child.I deny it, but, my mother won't let me out of it, so, we ended up dancing and that's why, we started dancing in my room and ended up in the living room, laughing at our own strange steps.After having been crying, now I smile, because in my mind there are two images, one: of my mo
Hearing her words immediately, I hug her. My mother is a strong-willed woman, even though she is an alpha recessive. So, to hear that she has asked for help so that she can be the person I need with me, is something surprising.Because this shows that the pride and haughtiness that characterizes her in most of the things she does, have been forgotten by the maternal love she has for me. Proving that what she feels for me is stronger than her own characteristic traits rooted in her.“Thank you very much for asking for help. I know it must have cost you a lot.” I say, hugging her tightly and she kisses my cheek and then moves away from me.“When you do something for your children, no matter how much it feels like it costs too much, you can do it. Pride is left in the background and you just want your child to be happy.>> You'll soon know what it feels like. So, you will realize for yourself that what we sacrifice for our children, actually