Chapter 5: Deciding

‘I was supposed to only have a loving relationship with my boyfriend, being the only person, I choose in my life, but, now... What am I going to do? Why did you have to be so fertile, Rain? I was supposed to be unlikely to get pregnant if he didn't have his orgasm inside of me! And now I'm pregnant and abandoned’ I tell myself mentally 

I run away from her house and beg for everything to be a fucking nightmare, but, almost getting run over, it makes my senses stay alert and notice that no matter how terrible I'm going through it now, it's my reality.

‘Maybe it's just a mistake. Maybe I'm part of that remaining percent where the test fails. So, the best thing is to take a blood pregnancy test. But, then they would find out that I am a werewolf and logically, I would inform my pack that there is a new baby on the way.’ I tell myself mentally.

“This can't be happening to me.” I whisper fearfully.” No, maybe it's good. Humans say that a baby comes with his blessing under his arm. 

'No, no matter how much I say it, it wouldn't sound better. You're in big trouble, Rain. For being lustful and very fertile, you are in serious trouble.’ I tell myself mentally.

Knowing that I should not show my pain, I walk trying to look calm, so that my pride is not hurt anymore, but, the memories play against me, because the man I love was kissed and touched by another woman, who was his fiancée and I... he called me his lover.

If he was interested in breaking my heart and destroying my pride, he did it perfectly, although my stupid mind still thinks it's a mistake. 

Without realizing it, I arrived at the university precisely in the workshop where he was always when I was looking for him. So, I smile feeling pathetic.

“Why did you come here, silly? Do you want your classmates to see how pathetic you are?” I ask in a voice thread.

“Rain...” says Lake and just hearing his voice, makes the displeasure invade me.

“Don't you dare say my name, Lake. I don't want you to mention me with your dirty mouth.” I say observing scratches on his neck, like purple marks on this one.

“Are you Scottish, Rain? Only the people there are the ones I've seen with such red hair” says the woman I saw a few hours ago on the kitchen island where he made me his weeks ago.

So, the displeasure invades me when I know that I was used and she seems to feel good about my suffering, as if she is used to deceptions and seeing how Lake breaks the hearts of the fools who like me have fallen for her charm.

“I'm not allowing you to mention my name either, bitch.” I say angrily.

“Look, stupid...” says that woman and Lake grabs her by the arm to stop her.

“Don't call him that, Rain. Respect her.” Says Lake, looking at the woman he was making out with, and then looking at me coldly.

I can't understand what's happening, but I feel like life is falling apart and that's why I must calm my heart so I can take a deep breath, because I need a big breath, so I don't go crazy.

I have not recovered from the humiliation in his house, to endure another, but, my legs do not allow me to move. It's like they're clinging to the ground, waiting for the impacts to end up ending my life.

‘You can't scream for someone who really doesn't deserve the slightest alteration.’ I remember holding on to a pride that I don't know if I can brag about.

“What did you say?

“You must be respectful to... my fiancée.” Lake says and I smile.

“You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that, Lake. You've taken a weight off my shoulders.” I say with pain.

The worry of how I would react to having been with him having ‘my fiancé' disappears completely, as does any opportunity to face my pregnancy together. 

So, I swallow hard and stay being a masochist, because I can't move and besides that, I need a lot more to forget it, because my heart although it hurts, loves it. Therefore, I drink hard and continue with my conversation.

“It's all over and you don't know how glad I am about it, Lake. I hope I never see you again in my fucking life. Right now, there is no longer a you and me, much less the possibility of an we.” I mean, to then leave the workshop and take a taxi outside the university.

“Where should I take you, miss?

“To a place where I can be alone and have a beautiful view. I need to think.” I tell the taxi driver and he nods, to then drive away from the university where I doubt he will return.

'My memories with him will prevent me from staying even for a second.’ I tell myself mentally as I wipe away my tears. "Lake came to destroy me. He came to end it all.’

Lake, my loving ex-boyfriend, seems to have stayed in Rome, because the man she left behind, does not show the slightest intention of affection towards me. 

‘He's not even chasing me.' I tell myself mentally.

I sigh deeply and with sadness, I watch as the houses pass quickly by my window. I don't cry, I refuse to cry in a car, like the silly woman who was cheated on and only after getting pregnant noticed it. 

So, with determination, I stare at nothing, trying to distract myself from my problem so as not to cry, I can't keep crying.

Quickly, under the window glass, so that the breeze hits my face and it is not my pregnancy out of wedlock with an unfaithful human, which invades my mind.

The taxi stops, I pay the fare and walk over the bridge that I only saw when I was driving past it. Although there are a lot of cars passing on the road, the pedestrian part is lonely, besides, the view of the place from here, is too nice.

‘If only watching this would fix my problems it would be perfect.’ I tell myself mentally.

With the breeze hitting my face hard, I slowly feel my tears leaving my eyes, to give the clarity to my vision that had been clouded by these.

Feeling a lot of pain, I let out all the crying I have inside, while the pain gets stronger. I can't find a way out of everything that happens to me and my problems triple with my pregnancy.

‘If I wasn't pregnant, it would just be a courtship that ended in failure, but, now... I have her son in my womb. I'm pregnant by a cheating human who played with me.' I tell myself mentally.

“What are you going to do now, Rain?” I ask myself in a voice thread, while my phone rings insistently.

I smile bitterly, because I wanted it to be Lake telling me that it wasn't him or that maybe, he has a twin brother who pretended to be him. Any credible excuse, I wouldn't question it, but, it's not him. 

The ringtone tells me that he is my father and therefore, I hesitate to answer. With so many things that have happened to me in less than ten hours, I don't have the energy to talk to my father. The music stops playing and I pick up my phone to look at the dark screen.

‘If you don't answer, I'll send for you right now.’ It says a message that lights up my screen.

I take a deep sigh and when he calls me again, I answer him knowing that I can't hide for that long.

“Father…

“A week.” says my father and I take a deep breath.

“What are you talking about now, Father?

“You're getting married in a week, Rain. The wedding will be in Russia. So, go home right now, there they are waiting for you to leave and before you say that your classes…

“All right, Father, I'll do as you order.” I say hanging up the call.

The best thing is to leave. I don't want to meet a man who humiliated me so much again. I can't see my running mates and even less, I'll put up with being asked about him. I can't do it.

“The best thing is to leave and forget... forget it.” I whisper in pain, taking my hand to my belly.