01: Kneel, April

April’s POV

Today was the day. It had been exactly one month since Papa died, yet I still couldn’t believe that he was no longer here or that a whole month had passed already. Until last month, my father, the pack’s Alpha, seemed untouchable, but now…

I sighed again, and another tear rolled down. Why did he have to leave? Dad’s death not only broke me but shattered our entire family. I got up, headed to my wardrobe, picked out some lazy clothes, and went downstairs for a glass of water.

The atmosphere all over the house was solemn; the whole place was quiet. I saw Dorian sitting quietly when I got to the living room. My stepbrother Dorian and his mother were the only family I had left. Although, I wasn’t certain that I still had him. Dad’s death had changed him more than anyone. It was like he had become another person entirely.

I walked gently, unwilling to attract his attention. Unfortunately, the moment I crept up behind him, he raised his head, and his eyes narrowed as they settled on me. I felt my blood run cold from his freezing and hard stare. This was what he had become—a stranger. I moved my eyes from his acidly cold gaze, my heart thumping in my chest from the fear his gaze instilled.

My eyes settled on the picture in his hand, and my heart sank. It was a family picture—their family. Dorian stood in the middle while his mother and Stacie flanked both sides. They looked happy and complete. I could remember the picture and watching from my room when they took it on Stacie’s birthday five years ago. Perhaps there was always a division?

I saw his fingers grip the paper harder. Every inch of him was battling the urge to walk up to me and hurt me. I could tell, and it made my heart sink even more. I did not just lose Dad a month ago. I had lost Dorian, too.

The Dorian sitting in my living room wasn’t the Dorian I had grown to love and care for. He was no longer the stepbrother that made me feel like a princess whenever I was with him. He was a shadow of his old self—cold, distant, and cruel. Only the Goddess knew if I would ever have him back again.

“You know what today is?” he asked, his voice icy.

“Yes, I do,” I replied, bowing my head in pain.

He stood up and turned to me, and I could feel the room get colder. “Then why are you still here? Get dressed!” He snarled. “Who are you expecting to pay homage to that man if you aren’t at the cemetery?” He asked, and my eyes widened at how he had just addressed Papa.

Without paying any mind to my reaction, Dorian walked away, and I felt my heart crumble. I should have stayed in bed. I shouldn’t have come downstairs. I felt my knees tremble in fear, but I knew I couldn’t disobey him. I dragged myself back upstairs and went into my room. 

****

The car ride to the pack’s graveyard was as silent as the graveyard, and I hopped out of Dorian’s car as soon as he parked it. My boots crunched the fallen leaves as we walked wordlessly, side by side. Dorian was dead silent, but the expression on his face made my heart skip a beat in fear.

Papa’s gravestone was still as new as it had been a month ago. The white stone had been chipped away in some parts but still looked new. As we walked closer, silent tears traced their way down my cheeks at the engraved words:

“Here lies Alpha Zephyr Grey, Alpha of Crimson Howlers Pack.

June 2nd, 1962–September 13th, 2023."

I placed the bouquet in my hand on his grave, and when I turned my head, I saw Stacie’s gravestone beside his. I glanced back at Dorian and saw him staring intently at me. His lips curled up into a mocking smirk.

“Are you stunned? Or do you not believe she deserves to be buried next to your Alpha father?” His emphasis on the term ‘Alpha’ caused a pang in my heart, but I chose to dismiss it. Engaging in a confrontation with Dorian, the most formidable shifter I knew, seemed unwise. Without uttering a word, I redirected my attention to Stacie’s gravesite. My gaze fixated on the date engraved on her tombstone—September, 2020.

The incident had occurred in that same month, precisely three years ago. Nevertheless, a part of me resisted accepting Stacie’s demise as fact, given that her body was never recovered. My father, who had been behind the wheel during the accident, had no memory of that night due to a concussion sustained in the crash.

Dorian, on the other hand, seemed to firmly believe that, somehow, Papa was responsible for his sister’s death. I heard Dorian scoff, pulling me out of my thoughts, and I turned to him.

“One would think that a pack’s Alpha would have so many people here, but I guess it isn’t always like that. Maybe it is because he was a pathetic, weak, cruel Alpha.” I looked at him in horror. How could he say that? “He wasn’t cruel, Dorian. He loved you. He loved all of us. You should be…”

“Shut up!” he snapped angrily. “If the Goddess was truly merciful, you should have been the one to die that day!!” I felt a hand grab a handful of my hair and yank my head backwards.

“You spoilt brat! How dare you say that he loved us? When he ended her life!” He pulled even harder, and I screamed in pain. My scalp burned, and my neck was in the most uncomfortable position. “Dorian, please…” He tugged at my hair a little more, and I felt like it would fall off my scalp. ”You know, I should have believed Stacie when she said that you and that murderer were treating her cruelly.”

My blood chilled. What did he just say? We bullied Stacie? “However, I was fooled by your acting and picked you over my sister.” He pulled even harder and leaned close to me, his mouth just mere inches away from my ears, while his palm grabbed my face and made me look down at Stacie’s grave.

“Stacie’s headstone is right there, so every time you dare to pay your respects to your father, the monster that killed her, I want you to see his grave and remember him for what he truly is!” He pushed me violently, and I fell on Dad’s headstone, banging my forehead painfully.

“Pick up those flowers! Now!” He barked, his voice echoing in the empty graveyard. In a flurry, I snatched them up, my hands trembling.

“Lay them at Stacie’s grave,” he commanded. I managed to raise my head and shoot him a defiant look. After all, I had picked those flowers for Papa last night.

“I don’t remember murderers needing flowers, April,” he roared, and my body trembled slightly. Since Papa died, this was the first time he called my name. I bent down, placing the bouquet on Stacie’s grave. Unlike him, I knew Papa was not a murderer. But Stacie deserved flowers, and the last ones I brought for Papa were still here. I succumbed—it’s not like I had a choice anyway.

“Kneel!” Dorian commanded. My body trembling from pure fear, I burst into tears and hurriedly got on my knees next to Stacie’s grave. I arranged the flowers on her grave carefully, tears pouring out of my eyes.

“Cry to her! Apologize for everything you did to her!” He barked at me. Dorian pushed my head, and I almost bowed at Stacie’s grave. My heart split—I was sorry about Stacie’s death. I knew how much he loved her and that he missed her. But I was also deeply sorry that this had to happen to her, that she had to die so early on.

“I am sorry, Stacie,” I mumbled and said a heartfelt prayer. Other than the fact that I had no choice with Dorian standing behind me, I genuinely hoped she was happy where she was, in a better place.

Satisfied, Dorian finally released the pressure from my head, but I dared not raise it. I didn’t want to stare into those cold eyes of his. I didn’t want to look at him after what just happened.

I heard his footsteps walking away, but I did not dare move. Suddenly, they stopped, and his voice rang out from a distance.

“My succession ceremony is tomorrow. I need you to attend and watch me become the Alpha that pathetic old man couldn’t be.” My tears stopped almost instantly as I heard his words. No. No, it couldn’t be. 

Tomorrow? What was Dorian doing?