Chapter 3

I lay in my bed, attempting to mediate. I was daydreaming about the present, specifically how I received scholarships to Kisco High School.

I took a few deep breaths, reopened my eyes, and returned to the awareness of my breath.

After a few minutes, I felt compelled to jot down my thoughts.

I opened my drawer and took out all of my painting supplies. I began drafting my feelings on a piece of paper, and the black paint of my mother and daughter's fear coiled in their eyes. It's my fear of insanity, I guess, as I draft it.

"Jasmine, my dear," my mother called, and I unlatched my room door. I was pleasantly happy to see her face glowing with a resplendent smile for the first time.

"I want you to prepare. You are going for Kisco scholarship exams. I strive to get this money to see that you entered that school. She handed me over $200.

That’s a lot of money. I was so shocked and excited at the same time. Where did she get all this from? She must have suffered so hard to get this money for me.

"Thank you, mom; you are the best mom in this world." I hugged her.

"I have said it time and time again: Jasmine can’t make me proud; she's just useless." I can’t fold my hands seeing her take that $200 to enroll for a scholarship exam. “My dad, who has been eavesdropping on my conversations with mommy, intrudes in

He was right. I failed two scholarship exams I wrote long ago.

It’s been a long time since I wrote the exam. I’m here to rectify my mistake and make sure I pass this exam.

Jasmine, give me that money. My dad collected the money from my hand and pushed me aside as tears welled in my eyes.

My mom stood by the side while she watched him leave with the money.

"Please, mom, don’t allow him to go with the money." I held my mom; she couldn’t do anything to stop him. She held me and hugged me.

She looks so frail and weak. She is not the type who can do anything to my dad. I don’t wish to ever see that man again.

His presence irritates me. I have thought of what to do to him to make him feel the pain and hurt he is causing us, but I couldn’t get anything from it.

I stood by the door as the knob twisted. I held the rod and clustered it in my hands, waiting for the door to be shoved open. I knew it was my dad. I would make sure to hit him with it to end this pain that has been buried inside of me.

"He must die today," I muster to myself, as immediately the door is shoved up.

He entered and took a measured step. I hide behind his back and raise my hand to hit him with the rod since my mother cannot do anything to stop him from taking my scholarship exam money. Hitting him with this will make him feel the pain I’m feeling right now. I was sweating profusely as I tried to hit him with the rod.

"Jasmine, don't, please!" My mother yelled as tears dripped from her eyes. "I don’t want to hear that this man has caused me nothing but pain." His presence is annoying me, and I'm going wacky because of that. I look at my sad mom. I felt like my heart was torn into pieces by my father.

The rod was stripped from my hand.

Before I could know what was happening, my Daddy gave me a hot slap. I held my cheek to try to endure the slap.

"Oh, you want to kill me," he said, and he punched me so badly that I wailed in pain.

"You are an evil child that wants your father to die," he spit on me and left.

I burned badly. It’s felt like something is piercing my heart, and I can't stop wondering if he is my father.

"Mum, I deserve to know who my real father is," I vehemently outcry.

"Jasmine, he is your father." She looks so heartbroken; I wonder why she doesn’t want to leave him. I don’t think I can continue to endure my father's heinous character with her anymore. I guess it is time to act so that I will not die in pain.

"You know he doesn’t see me as his daughter, so why do I take him as my father?" I said to my mom.

She can’t help but cry, "Mom, let’s leave this house for him." My words felt like they were pinching her in the heart. She doesn’t want to hear that.

"You know he is my husband, and we make a vow at the alter for better for once, no matter how difficult he is, I should stay by his side." That was actually the reason why she is dying in pain, all in the name of a vow: "If that is the case, I will make sure I kill Daddy so that she will be happy that man has made life a living hell for her."

"Let’s kill dad so that we will be free from his grip." I blurted out that I knew it. From the way she cast me a glance, she will be very angry with me for saying such a thing.

"Why would you think that way?" There was fury in her voice. She wonders how she raised me to become a killer.

"So that he can stop hurting us," I said, making her understand where I’m going.

"My dear, I didn't raise you to be a killer." "Don't worry, we will get through this," she assures me.