Michael stepped back just a little, teasing her mouth as he demanded physical obedience. He whispered to her, "Why can't you, Estel?" His golden eyes swept her face sleepily and said, "Why can't you stop me?" Asking her sensually, "Tell me," he then briefly stopped her from answering by resuming his passionate kiss. When the kiss was over, he requested it again with his eyes, and Estel looked up at him with a look of pitiful, abject helplessness. "I don't know, Michael," she said tremblingly. "You take me over when you do this. I don't want it to happen, but I-" Michael's voice was low and indulgently sensual as he said, "You forget everything but what I make you feel?" With barely a nod, Estel closed her eyes to shield them from his triumphant expression. With, "You forget about love-marriage... babies?" Michael pushed her further. Estel's eyes sprung wide at that, and she glanced up at Michael in stunned amazement. "No!" she cried out in shock, bracing herself against the body th
After a night of heavy sleep, Estel felt like she had stones in her eyelids and muscles the following day and had to force herself out of bed. Seeing her tired appearance in the mirror, she determined she couldn't let Michael take any pleasure in further humiliating her because of his vile conduct the night before. So, she sneaked into the kitchen to tell Shayne she was sick and would be staying in her room for the day. Shayne's empathy prompted her to quickly send her packing while promising to return with tea and toast. Estel didn't even have the strength to object, though she questioned if she could get anything past the lump that appeared to have landed permanently in her throat. When Estel returned to her room, she sat down in a chair by the window and stared at the fresh snowfall, wondering how she would muster the strength to stay until she had achieved the goal that had brought her there. A part of her had almost resigned herself to the knowledge that as long as she was in M
"What do you care?" Estel asked him scornfully. "I've got all the chapters you've done so far here in my room, and I plan to work on them later if that's what's worrying you." Michael, it appeared, was gritting his teeth to prevent an equally angry response. He made an outward show of trying to calm himself by closing his eyes for a while. There was a sad acceptance in his gaze when he gazed at her once again. He drooped weary-eyed onto the sofa's end, prompting Estel to swiftly lift her legs out of his way. However, her look softened when Estel felt a little stab of anxiety at Michael's gesture of exhausted dispiritedness, which was so out of character for him. Maybe he indeed did have a sickness. An instant later, however, as he raised his head and stared at her with deadly purpose, all doubt was removed. He responded, "All right, Estel," with determination. "I guess I have to apologize again." Estel was skeptical of his attempt at reconciliation because his tone didn't seem contr
When Michael brought up a topic that caused her extreme discomfort, Estel jumped. He went on to say, "I wouldn't have touched them if they hadn't," with a tone of hard decisiveness. Because I wasn't in love with any of them and I have strong opinions about child rearing and I don't agree with abortion, he said, studying her face as the color drained from it. The scorn he displayed in response to her conduct caught her off guard. With Michael, it was always latent, but Estel never seemed able to get used to the idea that it was there since it always came as such a shock. Michael replied with stern purpose, grabbing her wrist in his palm as she made an involuntary motion of denial, "I've been wondering since the night you got here whether you shared my views on abortion, Estel. "I've been wondering if perhaps there was an unwanted result of that night, we made love unwanted on your part, that is," he bluntly stated. What, if anything, occurred as an outcome of that night, Estel?' he in
When Estel landed in New York, she was shocked to see Henrick Larson waiting for her. As she peered at him above the heads of the crowd, she couldn't imagine how he had known of her arrival. Upon emerging from her room at Michael's home, and seeing that he had left the house shortly after leaving her room, she had taken advantage of the circumstance to ask Albert Jones to drive her to the airport in Aspen. She had been vague about why she had to leave, stating only that she had to attend to an "emergency" in New York. Her guilt about Michael was buried under the weight of the other feelings she was experiencing, and she accepted that it was simply another burden she would have to face. When she reached him, Henrick's expression was generally frustrated, but once he saw the stress in her face and the defeat in her eyes, he stifled his natural impulses and gave her a harsh hug. The moment he let go of her, he held her away from him, shook his head in exasperation, and moaned. "Damn it,
For the following two days, Estel did not leave the house and instead dove headfirst into her mind to figure out who she was and where she was heading. Though she was physically and psychologically spent by Sunday evening, she was generally pleased with her findings. No longer did she feel the need to berate herself professionally. In general, she was pleased with her output. This was something she'd always done. She felt no desire to explore other avenues, but rather a renewed commitment to excel at what she was currently doing. In a twist of fate, Michael should be credited with expanding the scope of that achievement's viability. He, not Peter, had been successful in convincing her of the value of literature outside of the genres she had previously regarded acceptable for publishing. She even found herself smiling as she thought back on her prudish past, wondering how she had ever thought she was qualified to be the last judge of everyone's appropriateness. Each book has a unique
A manuscript was left in the middle of Henrick's desk a few weeks later when Estel came into his office. He inquired, "What's this?" with a sluggish lack of interest. The magazine he was clutching in his arms depicted faraway paradise islands, proving that he had caught spring fever once again. He always said he would go away, but he never did. Instead, he just waited until his spring fever subsided and his normal level of energy returned. Estel sat on the edge of his desk, dangling a toned leg over it, and grinned up at him. " Michael 's book," she put it pithily. "It's ready to go to press." "Oh?" Henrick's eyebrow was lifted in a carefree manner as he attempted to conceal the curiosity that Estel knew was eating him alive. For weeks, she had ignored his prodding, refusing to share Michael's book with anybody. The process of editing it had been far too sensitive to risk discussing with someone of Henrick's confessed pessimistic attitude. "Is it any good?" he questioned, his tone i
Now, she focused on her work to dull the ache of disappointment that had settled in her chest, and she forced herself to ignore the dissatisfaction she felt at the words she read that weren't Michael's. She had finally found some peace when Henrick burst into her office. His craggy face lit up with excitement. He yelled, "Damn it, Estel, you've done it!" as he yanked her from her seat and gave her a bear hug. Estel was taken aback by Henrick's outburst of emotion, and she leaned away from him to cast a suspicious glance in his direction. "Have you been drinking?" she snapped at him. "Hell, no, I've been reading!" Henrick answered, unfazed by her dismissive demeanor. "And I've been talking to Michael." He ignored her puzzled look and sent her on her way so she could pace excitedly around the office. "I never thought he would come up with something like this," Henrick said with a laugh and a tone of disbelief. "I mean, I knew he could!" He continued his conversation with himself as th