Chapter 3

ELIOT

I never meant it to happen. I just wanted to kill that bastard's baby, not her.

I felt two snaps when I was about to dive into a long night in my office, as I usually did for over a month. It was bond-breaking, and I knew they were not from my men because I didn't get any report about an attack or someone dying, except Hannah and her baby. And the news came soon from the hospital that they were dead. Hannah and our baby were dead.

I finally could feel a bond between us, which confirmed her words that the baby was mine. Still, it didn't lower my hatred for her for cheating on me. But it didn't matter anymore, as they were dead now. They were no longer with me in this world anymore.

I couldn't describe my feelings right now. Anger, disappointment, sadness, and guilty mixed into one. But one thing. I didn't feel any happiness at all. I now knew the truth, and it was already too late even for just feeling them all.

I shouldn't be here. I should be with Hannah since we promised to stay together forever. Yet I let her die alone. I was such a coward, wasn't I?

I knew Kai, my wolf, agreed with me this time. He always sided with her, even at the time I caught Hannah and Ken sleeping on the same bed, naked. He told me to hear her explanation, but I chose to ignore him.

Maybe he was right all this time. Maybe Hannah didn't cheat on me, and, as she said, she didn't know why she ended up with him. Although it was true, I shouldn't torture her and kill my own baby. I should give her proper rejection so we could move on in peace.

However, it was too painful to accept. My body was hurt, and so was my soul. And her death crushed the fragile side of me.

--

I drank half a bottle of whiskey in one gulp. I didn't need glass because it only tortured me to have it little by little. And I wanted to see my Hannah soon, look at her beautiful face, staring at her cerulean eyes, and have her warm smile to calm me down. And the easiest way was to let my mind fly to her.

I took another gulp, and in an instant, a bottle was already empty. But strangely, I still couldn't find my lovely Hannah. Where was she?

Maybe this wasn't enough.

Thus, I put the empty bottle randomly and trudged over to the cabinet, where I placed a lot of booze inside. My alcohol tolerance was pretty high. But I only had them occasionally as my Luna wanted me not drunk to carry out my responsibility as Alpha.

Luna.

My Luna.

My Hannah.

I opened the second bottle and drank it fast to hold back my tears. And by the time I breathed in deep, I had emptied over half of it. I blinked at the surrounding, searching for figures I missed so much. Still nothing. Why didn't Hannah show up? Was she mad at me?

She must do. There was no reason she wasn't angry at me. I hurt her. 

I hurt both of them.

Again, I gulped the second drink, and in a minute, I already had a third one in my hand and was ready to savor it. Fucked the Alpha's job. I needed to have this to meet her.

"Alpha!"

I faintly heard someone calling me, also a familiar scent. But somehow, it couldn't calm me down.

"Eliot!" Casey quickly reached for me and tried to take the bottle in my hand. "Enough!" She shouted again after the bottle was in her hand.

I let out a guttural growl, knowing she succeeded in stopping me, and I was angry about that. No one could order an Alpha.

"Stop drinking this. You've got what you want. That whore is dead, and you're now free of her. No one-"

She couldn't finish her words as I launched a quick movement and cornered her between the wall and me. My hand was on her neck, trying hard not to crush it while rage took over me. "Don't dare to call her like that!"

"Why not? Isn't she like that? She cheated on you, so she's a whore. Everyone calls her by that." Casey confronted me with eyes flaring at me as if telling me the truth.

Yeah, I knew what my people called Hannah. A whore, cheater, and more. It was ultimately different from before—they used to accept her wholly and happily. That was why I had to lock her so she couldn't hear them. Only I had the right to say those words to her.

I gritted my teeth hard as my grip on her neck tightened. I hated her speaking like that about my Hannah!

"Alpha... you're... hurting... me," Casey said word by word in difficulty. She looked in pain, but I didn't care. "Please... don't... do... this. I'm... your... mate."

Hearing those words only made my anger grow more intense. The mate bond used to calm me down. My mate's bond with Hannah was like that.

Strangely, it didn't work the same way with her. I didn't feel anything except the scent, which wasn't special anymore. And my wolf agreed with me.

"E... li... ot."

And that was the climax. I felt hatred surging out of my body as I threw myself away from her.

I heard her coughing, but I didn't turn around, instead proceeding to the cabinet to grab the... I couldn't remember how many times I took whiskey from here. Not that I cared to count because I didn't. What I cared about was only to see my Hannah.

"Don't ever enter this room without my permission," I warned her without giving my attention back to her.

"Alpha."

I ignored her as I began opening the bottle.

"You need to stay alive for our union ceremony tomorrow."

I didn't hear or pretended not to listen to that and started drinking the whiskey.

"Eliot."

My grip on the bottle tightened when she called me by my name. I never liked that.

"Please help me be your Luna and-"

"You'll have that." I cut her fast. I was afraid listening to her longer would trigger my anger back.

Silence. There was the only sound of me gulping whiskey.

"Can't you love me as you did to Hannah?" Her voice sounded begging, but I still gave her my back.

"You'll be my Luna and produce my heir. Just that."

There was no way I could replace Hannah in my heart. I placed her there long before I knew she was my mate, and erasing her was impossible.

"Eliot." She used the same tone, but I stood in my stance.

"And you better call me Alpha."