Chapter 2

 

“Good evening, Mom,” Mae called to get her mother’s attention while her mother’s eyes were focused on the laptop. But no matter how many times she tried to get her attention, she still failed. This was always the scene whenever she was at home. She had no one to talk to.

She also did not know why she was still not used to it. Since grade school, this had always been their setup. As long as there was food on the table, her family thought everything was fine. She would leave the house without talking to them, and she would come home the same way.

She decided to just go upstairs to her room. She should already be used to this. Nothing was new. In her twenty-one years of living, getting her mother’s attention had always been difficult. Why was she still not used to it until now?

“Where are you going, Mae?”

She stopped walking. Just from her mother’s tone, she already felt something bad was coming. Even though fear was growing inside her chest, she still turned around.

“To my room,” she answered shortly.

Her fear became worse when she saw her mother’s eyes.

What did I do now?

“Why did you get a 1.50? Didn’t I tell you to focus on your studies? Focus! Where is your brain, Mae? Where is it?” her mother shouted.

Mae felt like the whole house shook because of her mother’s loud voice. She even saw one of their helpers quickly run into the kitchen.

Everyone was afraid of her mother.

Again, she could not do anything. Again, she could not defend herself. While other students were happy when they got a 1.50 grade, she felt like she was in hell.

“Sorry, Mom. I will do better next semester,” she said. Saying sorry was the only thing she could do even though she did not know if getting a 1.50 was really bad.

“I am not happy with your grades. Who is your instructor in that subject?”

Mae looked at her mother in panic. What was she planning to do now?

Why could her mother not accept her achievements? Why did she always focus on Mae’s mistakes and shortcomings? Why was she like that?

“Don’t worry, Mom. I will do better next semester. That subject is just a little difficult.”

“You should. What will my friends say? That I have a stupid daughter.”

Mae calmed herself before wiping her tears. Amazing, right? Her own mother really made her feel stupid. She sat heavily on her soft bed and continued crying there.

Mae was still thankful that her tears did not fall while she was in front of her mother because her mother hated seeing weakness. “No Alvarez is weak,” that was the reminder she always heard again and again.

But it was impossible not to get hurt, especially when the person you expect to support you is also the one pushing you down. But what was new? Her mother had always been like that.

Her mother could not even be happy about her achievements. She always said Mae could still improve and become better.

Mae shook her head.

Get used to it, Mae. Get used to it.

---

The next day, she went early to the campus because she wanted to read the literary works submitted by the students, especially the short stories, so she could edit the typos. Their adviser was absent because there was a meeting at the main campus.

She touched her swollen eyes while standing near the office door. Her eyes were still swollen from crying all night.

Well, she herself was not used to it yet, so how could her eyes get used to it?

Just as she was about to open the door, someone suddenly held her arm, stopping her. She did not speak, and she did not look at the bold person who touched her.

Just from the shape of the hand and the smell of the perfume, she already knew it was a man. She did not feel scared because the way he held her was gentle.

She let out a breath before speaking.

“Why? Do you need something?” she asked without looking at him.

A few seconds passed before he answered.

“You dropped the key to your office. You looked absent-minded while walking here.”

Just from the voice alone, she already knew who he was. Who would not recognize his voice? He had one of the nicest voices on campus, and that was also one reason why many girls admired him.

“Any problem, Mae? You can count on me,” he added.

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to—”

She could not finish her words because Kent Wilson suddenly turned her to face him. He held her face and wiped the tears that she did not even realize were already falling.

He did not say anything else. She also could not speak, and she could not move away while he wiped her tears. Maybe she just needed someone beside her, and Kent was the only one there.

She could not refuse when he hugged her.

“Lean on me if you need to, Mae.”

She stared blankly at the whiteboard in their classroom at that moment. No matter how many times she thought about it, her mind still could not accept what happened. She felt like hitting her own head because of her foolishness. How did she allow herself to return the hug of a man she barely knew?

In her whole life, this was the first time she allowed a man to hug her.

So this is how it feels when someone hugs you.

Without thinking, she hit her own head.

“Yes, Ms. Alvarez?”

She quickly looked at their instructor in surprise. Was he calling her or her cousin Vanessa?

“Are you with us?” the instructor continued.

Mae bit her lower lip and secretly looked at her cousin. Vanessa’s face showed no emotion while staring back at her.

I knew it. He was calling me.

She cleared her throat before nodding.

How embarrassing, Mae!

That class ended with her understanding nothing except the embarrassment she experienced. It was the first time an instructor noticed that she was not listening in class. If her mother found out about this, she would be dead again.

“Are you okay, Mae? Is something bothering you?”

She stopped fixing her things when Vanessa spoke. Vanessa was busy playing Candy Crush on her cellphone and did not even look at her.

Mae immediately remembered what happened earlier. Was Kent’s hug the reason why she was bothered? Probably not. Why am I even thinking about that? It’s just a hug. You are only not used to it, Mae. It has no meaning, okay?

“Nothing,” she answered her cousin and continued packing her things.

“I know you. I know when something is deeply bothering you. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Mae looked at Vanessa again before sighing.

“I’m fine. You really notice too many things.”

After putting all her things inside her bag, she stood up. Vanessa should not notice or think that something happened between her and Kent Wilson.

“Did Auntie scold you again? Do you want us to tell your Dad about what she’s doing?”

Mae stopped moving. Her father should not know everything. Her mother would only become angrier at her. She quickly shook her head.

“No. Something might happen to Dad in Dubai.” She looked at her cousin, who was already staring at her. “Come on, let’s go. Don’t worry about me. I can handle this.”

They walked out of the classroom, and Vanessa did not ask more questions. Mae could finally breathe properly. She thought Vanessa had noticed what happened to her earlier.

She looked around before locking the classroom door.

She almost dropped the key when she saw Kent waving at her from the classroom across the hallway.

Oh goodness! Why do I keep seeing him?

“Mae? You are spacing out again.”

“Ah, yeah. Let’s go.”

“Give me the key. You still haven’t locked the classroom. What is happening to you?”

Calm down, Mae. Calm down.

She went alone to the library to borrow a book for one of their minor subjects. She needed to study hard to improve her grades. If she could still improve them.

It was not that she did not believe in herself. If confidence was the topic, she had plenty of it. Too much, actually. But how could she still improve?

Her grades were already high. A 1.50 was not bad, right?

She shook her head when she remembered her mother’s words again.

What are you doing, Mae? Stop it.

Nothing would change if she kept thinking about it. It would only hurt her more.

She was about to get the book she had been searching for when someone suddenly grabbed it first. She quickly turned around.

“Hey! I was here fir—”

Her words stopped when she saw Kent.

Kent again?

“How are you, mi amor?”