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Chapter 64

Penulis: Billie Patsy
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2026-01-10 16:20:48

I was still deep in sleep, the kind that feels like floating in warm black water, when the knock came.

It was soft at first—three quick taps—then louder, insistent. I groaned, burying my face deeper into the pillow, hoping whoever it was would go away. The clock on my nightstand glowed 6:47 a.m. Too early. Way too early.

Another knock.

I dragged myself upright, rubbing my eyes, hair a tangled mess falling over my shoulders. I’d fallen asleep in the same soft tank and sleep shorts I’d worn home from Sarah’s, the fabric wrinkled and clinging to my skin from restless tossing all night. My body still felt heavy, bruised in that delicious way from Noah, from Cassian, from everything.

I shuffled to the door, chain still on, and cracked it open.

Cassian.

He looked like he hadn’t slept either—dark circles under his eyes, hair wild, black coat still on from the airport, collar turned up against the cold January morning. His gaze locked on me like he’d been starving for the sight.

Before I coul
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finally but how long is soon?
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    A few days passed in a strange, suspended kind of quiet.No messages from Cassian.No calls.No angry knocks at my door.Nothing.Just silence.The kind of silence that feels louder than screaming.I told myself it was better this way. That maybe he finally understood I needed space. That maybe he was giving me the room to breathe, to think, to figure out who I was without his shadow always falling over me. But the truth was uglier: the silence hurt. It hurt in a dull, constant way, like a bruise you keep pressing on just to see if it still aches.And it did.Every day.I went back to work at the library because routine was the only thing keeping me tethered. The smell of old paper, the soft thump of books being reshelved, the low murmur of students and retirees—it all felt like armor. Something solid I could hide behind while my mind spun in endless circles.That afternoon I was in the back stacks again, pushing the return cart between the towering shelves, not really seeing the titl

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    I stood under the shower for what felt like forever, letting the hot water pound against my shoulders until my skin turned pink and the steam clouded the mirror so thick I could barely see my own reflection. My hands shook as I scrubbed between my legs, trying to wash away the evidence of what I’d just done, but no amount of soap could erase the warmth still lingering inside me, the faint pulse of Noah’s release deep where no one else had ever been. I pressed my forehead against the tile and breathed through the panic, slow and deliberate, telling myself over and over that it was just once, that the odds were tiny, that I wasn’t stupid enough to get pregnant from one reckless moment.But the fear stayed.It coiled low in my belly, sharp and cold, whispering worst-case scenarios until I felt sick.When the water finally ran cold, I turned off the faucet with numb fingers and stepped out. I wrapped myself in the hotel’s too-small towel and opened the bathroom door.Noah was standing r

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    I thought Noah would want me the second the hotel door closed behind us. I expected him to push me against the wall the way Cassian so often did—hands rough, mouth demanding, fingers already tugging at my clothes like he couldn’t wait another second. Part of me wanted that. Needed it, maybe. The raw, physical certainty of being taken, of letting someone else decide the rhythm so I didn’t have to think. So I could drown the confusion in sensation and forget how torn I felt inside.But he didn’t.Noah just looked at me for a long moment, eyes soft in the dim hallway light, then reached out and pulled me into his arms. Not possessively. Not urgently. Just… gently. Like I was something breakable he wanted to keep safe. His chin rested on top of my head, one hand cradling the back of my neck, the other wrapped low around my waist. I felt his heartbeat through his T-shirt—steady, calm, nothing like the frantic racing of mine.I stood there stiff for a second, waiting for the shift. For the

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