DO YOU WANT TO STAY WITH ME?

Chapter 9

Alex

I hadn't slept much and every time I closed my eyes I saw her face again and the way she'd looked so small and frightened on my couch.

I kept telling myself I should have made her leave, because having her here was dangerous for both of us but especially for her.

Something in me had recognized her the moment I caught her scent on the wind, it had taken every ounce of control I had to stay calm when I walked into that cabin and found her sleeping there.

Her hands clutching protectively against her chest, like she was holding the most precious thing in the world.

She smelled like that man in the woods who bit me weeks ago, that should have been impossible because she looked completely human and acted human, there was no way in hell that she could be connected to that thing that had changed my life forever.

But there was something else mixed in with that familiar scent that made the beast in me pace restlessly and whisper things I didn't understand, about wanting to protect her and keep her close and claim her as mine.

I pushed those thoughts down hard because I couldn't afford to think like that.

Not when I was dangerous and not when I lived alone for a reason, not when getting close to anyone meant risking their safety.

I'd learned that lesson the hard way when the changes first started and I realized I wasn't fully human anymore.

I'd put as much distance between us as possible and slept on the floor against the far wall because even across the room I could hear her heartbeat and smell her scent.

I feel the pull that wanted me to go to her and protect her and keep her safe and that was exactly why I needed to stay away.

The thing inside me didn't understand human concepts like, consent and boundaries.

It only knew what it wanted and what it wanted was to curl up around her and make sure nothing could hurt her ever again, and that kind of thinking led to bad decisions and people getting hurt.

I'd been awake before dawn and slipped out quietly to check the snares I'd set the night before.

I was lucky enough to find two rabbits which meant I could make a proper breakfast instead of just offering her whatever canned goods I had left in the cabin.

The morning air helped clear my head and gave me space to think about what I was going to do, because she couldn't stay and I couldn't let her wander off alone. Neither option felt right but one was definitely safer than the other.

When I got back to the clearing I started cutting wood because I needed something to do with my hands and the repetitive motion helped keep the beast calm and gave me an excuse to stay outside and away from her while she slept.

But then I felt eyes on me, when I looked up she was standing on the porch watching me.

The morning light caught her hair and for a moment I forgot how to breathe, because there was something about the way she looked that made my chest tight. The thing inside me surge forward with possessive satisfaction.

She was beautiful in a way that had nothing to do with makeup or fancy clothes, and everything to do with the way she carried herself and the strength I could see in her even though she was clearly running from something that scared her more than a strange person living alone in the woods.

I went back to my work because looking at her too long made me think things I couldn't afford to think, I heard her move around inside the cabin.

Then the smell of the fire being rekindled drifted out to me and I realized she was trying to help even though this wasn't her home.

When I finished with the wood I gathered up the rabbits and went inside to find her sitting exactly where I'd left her, with whatever invisible thing she was holding, like it pressed against her chest. Just like last night.

Was she okay mentally?

She looked up at me with these wide eyes that seemed too old for her face.

"I caught breakfast," I said and held up the rabbits, she stared at them like she wasn't sure what they were and I realized she probably wasn't used to fresh killed game and might not even know how to prepare it.

I cleaned and skinned them outside because the smell of blood made the beast in me restless.

When I came back in to cook them, she was still sitting in the same spot watching everything I did with this intense curiosity that made me wonder what kind of life she'd been living before she ended up here.

The meat smelled good when it started cooking and I saw her nose twitch, her stomach made a sound that told me she was hungrier than she wanted to admit and when I handed her a plate she attacked the food like she hadn't eaten in days.

She ate with this desperate efficiency that made my chest ache because nobody should be that hungry, and I found myself wanting to know who had failed to take care of her. And why she was alone and running from whatever had sent her into these woods.

"What's your name?" I asked when she finally slowed down enough to breathe, she looked up at me like she wasn't sure she should answer.

"Nyx," she said quietly and her voice, still hoarse from sleep and something about the way she said it made me want to hear her say my name too.

"Where are you coming from Nyx?" I asked and tried to keep my voice gentle because she looked like she might bolt if I pushed too hard.

"Millbrook," she said and I felt my eyebrows go up, because Millbrook was like three days drive from here. That's if you took the highways and probably twice that if you were traveling on foot through the forest.

And we both know there's no car or driveway around here.

It means she's been traveling for... Wow

Oh my God

That was impossible.

"How did you get here?" I asked and she was quiet for so long I thought she might not answer but then she said "It took me four days" her words confirmed my thoughts.

I stared at her because that meant she'd walked through some of the most dangerous territory in the state and somehow made it out alive.

The fact that she'd made it through those woods at all was incredible, and the fact that she'd done it in four days, was impossible.

Unless she had some kind of enhanced abilities that normal humans didn't possess and that thought made the beast in me stir with recognition.

Was she like what I was becoming? Was she bitten too?

"Where are you going?" I asked instead, she shrugged at my question like she didn't know.

"I don't know but I have to keep going" there was something in her voice that told me staying in one place felt dangerous to her.

"Why did you leave home?" I asked before I could stop myself and she went very still and shook her head and I could see her shutting down right in front of me.

I lifted my head and looked at her directly and said "I won't ask you again and you don't have to answer if you don't want to" because whatever she was running from was clearly something she wasn't ready to talk about and I understood that feeling better than most people.

She nodded and I saw some of the tension leave her shoulders and then she asked "What's your name?" and I realized we'd been talking this whole time without proper introductions.

"Alex," I said and she repeated it quietly like she was testing how it sounded and I liked hearing my name in her voice more than I should have.

I stood up and started clearing the dishes because sitting across from her was making it hard to remember why I needed to keep my distance.

"There's a stream about fifty yards north of here if you want to freshen up before you go." I said after clearing the dishes.

She hesitated and I could see she didn't want to leave but I couldn't let her stay.

The sooner she was gone the safer she'd be and the easier it would be for me to pretend this morning had never happened.

There was something about her that I couldn't place and it wasn't just the way she smelled like that creature from my nightmares, it was something deeper that made me feel like I'd been waiting for her my whole life without knowing it.

But that was exactly the kind of thinking that led to people getting hurt.

I don't know her and I don't need to. Our parts are different.

She kept acting like she was holding something against her chest but every time I tried to see what it was, I saw nothing.

She turned to the couch and acted like the wanted to drop it but she shook her head and walked out.

I raised my brow in confusion, because I didn't understand what she was doing.

She headed toward the stream and I told myself I was relieved to have the space, just like i wanted.

But then she took so much time that I started getting worried and wondering if something had happened to her, even though I kept telling myself not to care because caring was dangerous.

But she felt like a sister I'd never had and that protective instinct was stronger than my common sense.

What if she was my younger sister? What would I have done?

I was just about to go looking for her when I heard her footsteps coming back through the trees.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding and tried to look busy when she came back.

I could feel her watching me with eyes that looked sad.

When she said she was going, I felt something twist in my chest that I didn't want to examine too closely.

She started walking away, there was something dejected about the way she moved that it made the thing inside me whine and demand that I do something to fix whatever was making her look so lost and alone.

I watched her get smaller as she walked away and told myself this was for the best and that she'd be safer anywhere else than here with me.

My unpredictable nature and the violence that followed me everywhere I went since the attack.

"Do you want to stay with me?" The words were out before I could stop them and I was just as surprised as she was.

Because I'd spent the last hour convincing myself that her leaving was the only option.