I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO AND PART OF ME DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE AT ALL

Chapter 8

Nyx

The blanket was softer than anything I'd ever felt and it seemed to mold itself around my body like it had been made specifically for me.

For the first time in four days I felt safe enough to really sleep and I was unconscious before I could worry about who owned the cabin or what would happen when they came back.

But even in my dreams I could feel the diary warm against my skin like it was alive and waiting for the right moment to reveal its secrets.

And I could swear I felt it pulse sometimes in rhythm with my breathing but that had to be my imagination because books don't have heartbeats no matter how strange everything else was getting.

But then I heard something that wiped the sleep off my face completely.

Footsteps on the porch but not heavy clomping footsteps like someone trying to break in and more like someone who knew exactly where to step to avoid making noise and my enhanced hearing picked up the careful placement of each foot and the way whoever it was paused between steps.

My heart started beating faster and I stayed perfectly still with my eyes closed and tried to breathe normally while every nerve in my body went on alert and I listened to the footsteps move around the outside of the cabin like someone was checking the windows.

The front door creaked open so slowly I might not have heard it before but now I caught every tiny sound of the hinges and the way the door frame settled and I smelled something new in the air that made my nose twitch and my pulse race.

It was a scent I'd never encountered before but somehow my brain knew what it meant and it whispered danger but also protection and I didn't understand how both things could be true at the same time but my body seemed to know something my mind didn't.

I kept my breathing steady and my eyes closed but I was more awake than I'd ever been and I could feel someone standing in the doorway watching me and the sensation crawled across my skin.

Through my eyelashes I saw a shape in the darkness and it was definitely a person but tall and broad-shouldered and standing so still they might have been carved from shadow and I had to fight not to jump up and run because every instinct told me to move but another deeper instinct told me to stay put.

The stranger stepped into the cabin and I heard the floorboards creak under their weight and they moved like someone who belonged here and knew exactly where everything was and I realized this might be whose cabin I'd broken into and eaten food from.

My stomach dropped because I was probably in more trouble than I'd thought but I still didn't feel the kind of fear that made me want to scream and run and instead I felt something almost like recognition even though I'd never seen this person before in my life.

They moved closer and I could smell them better now and it was woodsmoke and pine needles and something wild that reminded me of the forest dreams I'd been having where I ran on four legs and could smell things humans weren't supposed to notice.

When they were close enough that I could hear their breathing I opened my eyes and looked up at them and even in the dim light from the dying fire I could see enough to know they were male and probably around my age and definitely not what I'd expected.

His hair was dark and messy like he'd been sleeping outside and his clothes were worn and dirty but not in a way that looked careless and more like someone who spent time in the woods because that's where they belonged and his eyes caught the firelight and seemed to glow slightly which should have been impossible.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and his voice was low and careful like he didn't want to scare me but also like he was ready for me to be dangerous and I sat up slowly with the diary clutched against my chest.

"I'm sorry," I said and my voice came out smaller than I wanted it to and I pressed myself back against the couch cushions because even though he didn't seem threatening there was something about him that made my newly sensitive nerves sing with awareness.

"Please don't hurt me and I'm sorry I just wanted to rest and I ate some of your food but I was so hungry and I can leave right now if you want me to."

He studied my face in the firelight and I saw something shift in his expression like he was seeing something that surprised him and he took a step back instead of forward which wasn't what I'd expected from someone who'd just found a stranger in their home.

"I won't hurt you but this place isn't safe for anyone especially not someone like you and you should go back home where your family can protect you," he said and there was something in his tone that sounded almost worried instead of angry.

"No," I said and shook my head so hard my tangled hair whipped around my face and I felt tears start to burn behind my eyes because going home was the one thing I absolutely could not do.

There was no home for me anymore.

"I can't go back home, I know I don't belong here but I can't go back there."

He was quiet for a long moment and I watched him process what I'd said and I could see him thinking and trying to decide what to do with me and I held my breath waiting for him to tell me to get out.

"Do you have somewhere else to go?" he asked and his voice was gentler now like he was starting to understand that I wasn't just some lost tourist who'd wandered off a hiking trail.

"No," I admitted and the word came out like a whisper because saying it out loud made it real in a way that scared me and I hugged the diary tighter because it was the only solid thing I had left.

"I don't have anywhere to go but I don't want to go home and home is the last place I want to be and I know that doesn't make sense but it's true."

He looked at me for what felt like forever and I could see him weighing options in his head and I prepared myself for him to tell me I had to leave anyway because it wasn't his problem that I had nowhere to go.

"You can stay tonight," he said finally and relief flooded through me so fast I felt dizzy and I nodded quickly before he could change his mind.

"Thank you and I promise I'll leave in the morning and find somewhere else to go and I won't bother you anymore after tonight."

"Just tonight," he said and there was something final in his tone that told me not to argue and he moved away from me toward the other side of the cabin and I watched him settle down on the floor near the wall.

I wanted to tell him he could have the couch since it was his cabin and his couch but something in his posture told me he was putting distance between us on purpose and I didn't understand why but I didn't want to question the only kindness I'd received in days.

The cabin felt different with him in it and not just because I wasn't alone anymore but because there was an energy coming off him that made my skin tingle and my enhanced senses pick up things I probably shouldn't have been able to detect.

I could hear his heartbeat from across the room and it was steady and strong and somehow comforting and I could smell that wild scent that reminded me of my dreams and made me think of running through moonlit forests and hunting prey I'd never actually hunted.

My body wanted to relax but my mind was spinning with questions I couldn't ask and observations I couldn't make sense of and the diary pressed against my ribs felt heavier than it should have like it was trying to tell me something I wasn't ready to hear.

Sleep came eventually despite everything and it was deeper than I'd managed in days and I dreamed again about running on four legs but this time I wasn't alone and there was someone running beside me who smelled like woodsmoke and pine needles and safety.

When I woke up the morning light was streaming through the cabin windows and the fire had burned out completely and I felt more rested than I had since leaving home and for a moment I couldn't remember where I was or why.

Then I saw the empty space where he'd been lying and I sat up quickly and looked around the cabin but he was gone and I felt a stab of something that might have been disappointment even though I barely knew him and had no right to expect him to stay.

I got up and stretched and my muscles felt good and strong instead of sore and achy and I realized I was getting used to this new life of sleeping in strange places and never knowing what each day would bring.

The diary fell into my lap when I stood up and I stared down at it and wondered if today would finally be the day I found the courage to open it and read whatever secrets my mother had hidden inside.

I walked to the cabin door and stepped outside into the morning air and it was crisp and clean and filled with scents that my enhanced nose picked apart like a puzzle and I could smell water and animals and plants and even the stranger who'd let me stay the night.

That's when I saw him and my breath caught in my throat because he was at the edge of the clearing cutting wood and even from a distance I could see the way his muscles moved under his shirt and the precise way he swung the axe like he'd been doing it his whole life.

Each swing was controlled and powerful and there was something almost hypnotic about watching him work and I found myself staring without meaning to and wondering what it would be like to have that kind of strength and certainty in my movements.

He must have sensed me watching because he looked up and our eyes met across the clearing and for a moment neither of us moved and I felt something pass between us that I didn't have words for.

Then he went back to his work and I stood there on the cabin porch clutching the diary and trying to decide what to do next because I'd promised to leave but I didn't know where to go and part of me didn't want to leave at all.