TWENTY: I Do Care About You

I wait for him to speak. He doesn't.

"And I know that having a letter with someone else's name on it could have meant a million different things. But I don't know I just... you're kind of notoriously mysterious and secretive as it is. The fact that you might not be who you say who you are might actually make you make more sense."

Harlan is silent for a few moments.

"Is this what all this is, then?" he asks finally, gesturing between the two of us. "You trying to play at being a detective and cracking the big case?"

"Are you fucking serious?" I turn to look at him, my brows knit together, for a moment thinking he is kidding.

A part of me is a little outraged for a second; he is the one who doesn't even want to talk about what "this" is. I shake my head.

"What's happening between us is happening because I..." I swallow back the words I really want to say, "enjoy being with you. I just thought if I figured out the letter on your desk, I could figure out why you..." I look away from him and back down to my lap, hoping it will give me the bravery to continue. "Why you seem to hate me so much," I mutter, the words barely above a whisper.

"How des it seem like I hate you, Eden?" He asks me like he is asking a deep, philosophical question in class, like he is urging me to examine what I'd said. "I've admitted to being attracted to you. To enjoy being with you. I've given you extra help on your schoolwork because you have more potential than any of my other students."

"But you ignore me, too."

"I ignore you because we're in class. We can't afford to treat each other any differently."

"You don't let me kiss you. I mean, we're already having sex; what's the big deal? I mean, what are you, 'Pretty Woman?'" I ask sheepishly.

"Yes, because I don't want there to be any confusion as to what this is between us," he explains calmly. "What's happening between us is good, but it can't go any farther than what it already is."

"It already has," I whisper, looking up at him. "You asked me here tonight. You told me you care about me. That was all you."

"I do care about you," he says softly, eyes looking at me earnestly. "But don't you understand that we have to be careful? I'm your professor. We were careless today, and we can't make that mistake again, whatever careless means."

"But cant we just let this be whatever it wants to be? Don't you want to kiss me?"

His expression softens, and suddenly, a fog of silence lays between us. I'm frozen in fear, wondering how he is going to respond to my blunt words, even if I'd said them softly, so softly that he could barely hear them. I wonder if I'll ever move.

But then suddenly, he leans in, his lips landing on mine.

My eyes flutter shut. I stay still for a long moment, surprised and wondering if this is the right choice for him, but soon, I can't remember what I'm wondering about; my thoughts dissipate, floating away until they are nothing, and my fingertips find his cheek to rest on as I gently press up against him, strong hands finding my waist.

He has never been gentle before. He has in fleeting moments, but not like this. Not like his body, his touch is asking me to stay with him.

I let my lips part slightly to deepen the kiss, to draw him in closer. He follows me, lips pressing against mine, yearning. I press against him, wanting to be closer. I feel his hands guide me to his lap. I straddle his legs, both hands going to cup his cheeks as my desire mounts. Still with tender hands, his palms trail down the length of my back, slowly, as he tastes me.

I sigh against his lips, breathing softly, and try my best to draw him closer, but he is already flush against me. A hand snakes into his hair, feeling him, and I find myself whimpering as he parts his lips more, kissing me lazily, gripping me slightly tighter. Harder.

My breath hitches as one of his hands curls into my hair and grips, gently pulling my head back. His lips leave mine but quickly press against my neck. My eyes flutter shut and I sigh as he leans to kiss across my neck and up to my jaw. He nips my skin tenderly, running his tongue over the blooming red patches he'd marked on me. My hands are in his hair, pulling softly as my pleasure grows and intensifies. I shift forward onto his lap, the friction causing him to hiss. My crotch flush with his, I feel his hardness press up against me, and I can't stop myself from how badly I want him. Mindlessly, I begin to squirm in his lap, and his grip on my locks tightens as he begins to kiss me more forcefully, his lips moving from my jawline back to my mouth.

He yanks me against him and I go dizzy, the only thing filling my mind desire and his lips. I groan as our mouths crash together and his hands run over every inch of my body.

I find myself tugging at his collar and whimpering, hips rolling against his.

He breathes my name, lips brushing against mine.

"Please..." I whisper back.

His eyes don't leave mine as he lifts my sweatshirt from over my head.

I follow suit, removing his shirt and running my hands down his bare chest as soon as it is free. The first time I've ever seen his bare chest. And it is...it is broader than I expect. He is all muscle and warm skin, like a man. A real man. Sometimes I doubt that he is even that. But in this moment, it reminds me of what he is. That I, him, and Vance, the world full of people, we aren't all that different.

My eyes flutter shut as my fingertips caress his strong, naked skin, the warmth feeling like heaven and bliss.

I feel his hands cup my cheek and his lips kiss me again. When he pulls away ,I open my eyes and watch him move to unclasp my bra. It falls from my chest and he drops it to the floor, suddenly yanking me against him again. He kisses me roughly, and I feel his arm move between us so his hand could work at one of my breasts. He rolls it underneath his hand, holding and massaging it roughly, before moving to the other one, feeling me up with one hand and keeping me pressed as close as I can be with the other.

His hands smooth over my skin to my hips, pulling me against him and causing me to grind against his hardness. I gasp and grind harder, causing him to groan.

He rests his forehead against mine and whispers, "I want you. Now."

I quickly stand and pull off my leggings, eyes never leaving him; I watch him pull down his joggers and as soon as I'm free from my remaining clothes, I climb back on top of him, kissing again as he moves his hand in between us to grasp his cock.

His parted lips are brushed against mine as he presses himself into me, and he lifts his hips until he is fully seated inside me, my skin flush and pressed against his.

We both exhale against each other. He lowers himself and wraps a hand around my waist as I take charge, riding him slowly at first, but picking up speed with each roll of my hips. I lift myself up to ride the whole length of his dick before lowering myself back down, gasping and panting, finding it hard to believe how incredibly deep he feels inside me.

His hands move to my hips, guiding me to slam onto him harder. I sputter audibly, the intensity mounting between us as he makes me fuck him harder. I groan and throw my head back, hands snaking into his hair and pulling, unable to control myself... the pleasure is too strong.

"Harlan," I gasp, working my hips. I feel his fingers pressing into my hipbones; he grips me hard as he pulls me against him.

I hear him groan.

"Fuck," he breathes, hands moving to grasp my bouncing tits.

e dips his head forward, catching one of them to draw into his mouth. I feel him groan around the roundness of my nipple, and he lazily runs his tongue over my skin, placing kisses against it and drawing his tongue across the tender redness. I moan at the sensation as he continues to feel my chest, dragging his tongue across to the other one, sucking and licking so forcefully I nearly cry out.

I fuck him harder, feeling myself growing close to release.

"Fuck, I can feel you so deep," I whimper.

He draws his mouth away from my breasts though he keeps his hands there, massaging my skin, and presses his lips lightly against mine.

"You're so fucking good," he groans, placing a lazy kiss against me before pulling away to watch my hips pound and slam against his. "Oh god, fuck, that's so good."

I cry out, fucking him as hard and as fast as I can, feeling myself draw closer and closer to release.

Gasping, I look down, watching his length draw out of me before pounding back in. It is too much, too fucking much.

"Harlan, I'm so close," I whimper.

He growls and wraps his arms around my middle, pulling me flush against his chest until I can't have possibly been any closer. I grip at his biceps, behind his back, nails digging into his skin, any sense of control long gone.

He holds me so I hover a few inches above him and so tight that I'm locked into place. He begins thrusting. His hips move so fast and so forcefully I see stars. He pounds into me with no mercy, and soon, the sound of his skin slapping against mine is deafening.

I don't even realize I'm shouting, shouting expletives, his name, unintelligible moans. I'm already a blathering mess when he fucks me so long and hard and mercilessly that I'm cumming on top of him, scratching at whatever body part of his I have a hold of.

I let myself cry out when my orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks, shouting his name off of my lips before releasing a moan so loud it fills the whole room and beyond.

He follows closely behind me, his grip around me so tight it nearly cuts off my breath as he thrusts through his orgasm, emptying himself inside of me while he fills my ears with growls of my name.

I groan and let myself fall limp against him when I come down from my high. I settle my head into the crook of his neck. His grip against me loosens but he still holds me, fingers stroking my hair gently.

My heaving chests press together, and I focus on trying to catch my breath.

Fuck.

I'm still for a while. Enjoying the moment, enjoying his warmth... I feel a kiss on the side of my head and my eyes flutter open.

I shift and he hisses, his spent cock sensitive inside of me. I slowly pull off of him, humming through the overstimulation, wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning my forehead on his shoulder, letting my eyes close.

I feel him stroke my back and it sends tingles through my skin. Then fingers on the back of my head, snaking into my hair gently to pull my face to his.

His lips press against mine. My brow furrows in confusion. At first I'm panicked, remembering suddenly that I'm breaking the rules, and then nearly immediately remembering that he has initiated the forbidden after-sex kiss. And then I realize he isn't stopping, and my body relaxes, sinking against him once more.

I let the kiss linger, sitting in the magic of the moment, feeling his heartbeat against my chest.