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•Penelope•
“I said no glue near your mouth, Noah.” I pulled the bottle gently from his hands before he could make a second attempt. The boys at Saint Jude’s Orphanage had a creative streak, which was a polite way of saying they spent most mornings testing how close they could get to trouble before someone stepped in. Noah pouted. “It smells good.” “I promise it doesn’t taste the same.” His friend giggled behind him, chewing on the edge of a crayon with the confidence of someone who had gotten away with it before. I let that one slide. Pick your battles. The classroom was warm, a little stuffy despite the cracked window above the bookshelf. Dust clung to the sunlight like it was afraid of falling. My sleeves were rolled up just enough to keep the cuffs from soaking in juice stains. Most of the younger children had already abandoned their coloring in favor of building towers with hymn books and the odd, uneven wooden blocks Sister Mary had insisted weren’t a choking hazard. One of the girls tugged my skirt lightly. “Sister Penny, can I use the gold glitter?” “You know the rule. If you use glitter, you clean it up.” “I will. Promise.” “That’s what you said last time but the hallway sparkled for three days.” She gave me a sheepish grin and scampered off toward the supply cart. I made a mental note to supervise the cleanup this time. The Mother Superior already suspected I was too soft with them. And she wasn’t wrong. I liked them this way—loud, messy, honest. It was easier than the silence in the chapel or the tight-lipped niceties in the convent halls. Here, no one cared if I didn’t have the right answer to why God let parents die or why some people never got adopted. They didn’t want answers. They wanted someone who wanted to listen,stability and freedom And I could do that. “Do nuns ever get married?” one of the boys asked out of nowhere, breaking my train of thought. I turned to see Eli watching me curiously, his fingers still curled around the red marker he’d been using to draw a fire-breathing angel. His tone was innocent, but the question made my spine stiffen. “No. We devote ourselves to God.” “But what if you fall in love?” There it was. Children had a way of cutting through everything with a knife made of sugar and blunt curiosity. I gave him the kind of smile that nuns are taught—warm, neutral, evasive. “Then we pray a little harder.” He squinted at me. “That sounds boring.” “Sometimes boring is good.” He snorted and went back to drawing flames. Across the room, Sister Agnes poked her head in, gave me a look that said I was ten minutes behind schedule, and vanished just as fast. I clapped my hands to signal cleanup. Groans echoed, but the kids knew the drill. As I moved between desks, collecting stray markers and separating glue lids from their bottles, I felt the weight of that question still sitting in my chest. What if you fall in love? I didn’t let myself answer, I wasn't a nun yet, and I could easily back out from this path whenever I choose to. "What are you doing here, Penelope?" Matilda sneered at me, the distaste of my presence evident on her face. "Mother Superior asked me to handle the donation sorting, auction items and sponsorship." I walked off without waiting for a reply. I might have a really sad past but that doesn't give them the right to treat me so poorly. As I began the sorting of the donation in the reception of the orphanage, I could hear distant chatter and laughter from outside. Some women walked in to see the children and donate some items, their eyes wandered to a piece of painting selected for the auction party after the main donation. A crowd formed over a sleek black car, few sisters and a lot of women. I didn't think people turned up this much for the donations. A tall, silver-haired man made his way through the crowd and towards my table. His beautiful hazel eyes and manly features made me dumb struck. Now I get why the women flock around him. "Forgive me, Lord." I whispered a prayer to myself. His eyes were glued on me as he spoke with Mother Superior, laughing like they've known each other for years. "Penelope dear, please come here." Mother waved toward me. I quietly walked towards her, my heart beating faster than it'd ever beat before. "Penelope, Meet Miguel he is a dedicated donator to our parish and this Orphanage." Mother smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Miguel." Why hadn't I seen him prior to today? "Miguel traveled a month before you started your discernment, and from what he tells me he traveled to Turkey." I have never seen Mother be so happy in a long time. "You love traveling right?" Before I could respond she added, "you should talk to Dr. Miguel. I'll place the medications he brought in the right order." Wait! I can't be alone with him. I wanted to scream so loudly. My body tense as my name escaped from his lips, it sounded like a desperate whisper. "Penelope." "Dr. Miguel." I answered cheerfully. "Mother mentioned that you love traveling." I couldn't tell if it was a question or statement. "Yes, I do but I've never really traveled." He gestured for me to continue. "Why's that?" "I never got to, I was involved in a car accident and after my recovery I found solace in the Lord." I smiled He didn’t look away when I smiled. If anything, his gaze sharpened like he was trying to decide what kind of woman hides behind my attire. My skin prickled under the weight of it. “You don’t strike me as someone who stays in one place,” he said, voice smooth and low like a secret passed in confession. I blinked, unsure if it was a compliment, a dig, or something else entirely. “There’s peace in staying in one place.” “There’s also stagnation,” he murmured. I swallowed. “I prefer peace.” He didn’t answer. Just looked at me like he didn’t believe me. Before I could retreat, one of the sisters called for Mother Superior from down the hall. She gave Miguel a quick pat on the shoulder and excused herself, leaving me alone with him. Great. He turned his attention back to me fully now, and it was suddenly very hard to remember how breathing worked. “Do you enjoy the work here?” he asked, stepping just a little too close—close enough for me to smell something expensive on his coat. Cedarwood. Amber. Temptation. “I do,” I said, shifting my weight. “The children are honest. It's refreshing.” “And the sisters?” I hesitated. “They’re kind in their own way.” A slow smile curved at the corner of his mouth. “But not to you?” I flinched. Just slightly. But he caught it. “They have their reasons,” I said carefully. He stepped around the table slowly, eyes never leaving mine. “Maybe they’re just intimidated.” My laugh was dry. “By me?” “You carry yourself like someone who doesn’t want to be here.” He paused. “Or someone who’s trying very hard to convince herself she does.” That stung. Mostly because it wasn’t entirely untrue. “I don’t think you know me well enough to make that kind of judgment, Dr. Miguel.” He tilted his head, expression unreadable. “Not yet.” The silence between us thickened, broken only by the sound of children’s voices echoing through the hallway. I reached for the clipboard, desperate to pretend I had a reason to end the conversation. “Well,” I said, avoiding his eyes, “thank you again for the donations. I’ll make sure everything is sorted.” “Of course.” He stepped back, just enough for me to breathe again. “I look forward to seeing how you put it all to use.” There was a flicker of something approval, maybe, or challenge as he turned to leave. “And Penelope?” I glanced up. “That thing you said earlier about finding solace in the Lord?” “Yes?” He smirked. “Sometimes the things we run to are the very things we’re running from.” Then he walked away, leaving me staring after him with my pulse pounding and my thoughts absolutely impure. I pressed a hand over my heart like that could quiet it. Forgive me, Lord, I thought to myself. I might have just met my hardest temptation.MatildaAs my phone captured the tension between Miguel and Penelope, I felt a trickle down my thighs. Despite how much I wanted Miguel, seeing him trust himself into Penelope made me want to touch myself. Miguel laid Penelope on the center of the bed before joining her almost immediately. He was on his knees looking up at Penelope. It made me deeply jealous to see that he was this devoted to Penelope. He was staring at her with such passion. With such want. While still looking up at her, he reached for her hand, pulling it towards his lips. Then he rested her palms against his cheek. He then shifted his focus back to her body. His hands began to slide up her calves as he parted her legs more. Once he gained access to her center, he stroked her thighs with his thumbs, gliding across her center in gentle, careful circles. I was cheesing at the fact that I was freely recording this very damning scene. I was on a heavy streak of things falling in place for me. “You’re so wet,” Miguel
MiguelAs I woke up in the morning in the hotel, the first few thoughts on my mind were about Penelope. I hoped she was okay. The doctors had assured me all she needed was proper rest and she would be back to normal in no time. However, that didn’t stop me from worrying. After making sure Rodney had taken his bath and worn the new clothes I picked up at a nearby store, I headed to the ward Penelope was at. She was still sleeping by the time I got there. Looking as ethereal as ever. I was happy she was looking more vibrant than before. Driving back to Oakridge was painful. It was pure torture. Because the finality of Penelope’s leave finally registered in my head. I may actually never see her again. She was traveling back to New York in the evening. After dropping Rodney at his mom’s friend’s place it was straight home from there. A home that would feel more empty than ever once Penelope leaves.I wanted the journey to last as long as possible. But we got home too fast. Too soon.
PenelopeI was extremely touched by Miguel’s recent streak of care. He had been very insistent that I stay in the hospital overnight to rest. It touched my heart that he was not willing to back down. The next morning, he was already in my room, to check up on me. I was completely fine now. Seeing Miguel so warm and caring made me thirst for him even more. It was like each part of Miguel I learned about, the more I longed for him. The drive back to Oakridge was torturous for me. It had finally dawned on me that I was truly returning back to New York and I would never get a chance to be with Miguel again. All the guilt I had been feeling before deciding to call Mother Superior telling her I wished to return to New York was now turning to regret that I had even ever picked up the phone to call her.I was now wondering if it was still possible for me to cancel the whole thing and tell Mother Superior that I was doing way too much good here to leave now. I was thinking about ways I could
MatildaThe nuns had been assembled by Mother Superior.“Sister Penelope will be returning back to the convent on Sunday evening,” she said, before continuing, “I gathered you all here to inform you of this.” She finished.While a few nuns chatted, she continued, “However,” the nuns stopped their chatter as her voice was incredibly commanding, “I would still be sending another nun to Oakridge as her replacement. Which is why I will be needing someone else fit to go and assist Dr. Ramirez.”I did not hesitate to offer myself as a substitute. The opportunity was a prime one. An opportunity I did not need to waste time seizing. It was my golden ticket to finally being with Miguel. And this time, it was even better because Penelope would not be there to foil my plans any more. “I can go,” I raised my hand, “I can go to Oakridge. I have been there before, so I’m familiar with the terrain. Even the hospital and some of the staff. It makes the most sense for me to go.” I made my case. “Of
MiguelI was at Penelope's side, watching her sleep. It was so scary to witness Penelope stagger and fall to the ground. I regretted not going after her faster. Maybe I could have caught her before she hit the floor. A series of scenarios where I could have saved her from falling on the ground flashed in my head. I also hoped she hadn’t suffered any injuries to her head, skull, or her brain. I would not be able to live well after learning that fact. Learning that I could have prevented such a fatal, life changing injury.Part of me could not help but wonder if I was the cause of all this. Had I stressed her so much that she could not take it anymore, and fainted? The doctors had confirmed that she fainted due to a sudden spike in her blood pressure. “An acute syncopal episode brought on by a massive, sudden hypertensive spike. Severe emotional distress triggered a massive surge in her blood pressure, and her body simply couldn't handle the strain. Her nervous system overcompensated
PenelopeAs I walked into the confession box, I had one goal. That was to let it all out of my heart. I had a heavy heart and I was walking in to offload everything. I had been carrying this burden for far too long. I needed to let it go. I was entering this confession box to confess my sins and leave a new person. Devoid of all worldly things. “Bless me father, for I have sinned,” I whispered. The crack in my voice in addition to the lack of audibility were results of my internal battle with the crushing weight of guilt. “May the Lord be in your heart and upon your lips, that you may truly and humbly confess your sins,” The priest responded. “Speak, my child.” I braced myself for the terrible truths I was about to drop. It had been one thing to internalize my faults and realize them, but to actually put them to words and say them out loud to a spiritual figure, was a task I had not properly braced myself for. “Father... I have harbored deeply impure thoughts. I have surrendered
•Penelope• I ignored the tingling between my thighs all evening. It didn’t help that during mass, Father Marshall, bless his soul—suddenly looked like Dr. Miguel Ramirez from the side. Same silver hair, same calm, unreadable expression. I blinked hard, looked back down at my prayer book, and
•Miguel• “Try this.” I held up the cream-colored blouse, half amused, half annoyed she hadn’t picked it herself. Penelope wrinkled her nose. “That’s something a kindergarten teacher would wear.” I arched a brow. “You work at an orphanage, you teach the children.” “okay, fine.” She snatc
•Penelope • The bell rang three times for afternoon prayer, and I was halfway through shelving the hymns when I headed the footsteps that didn’t seem to belong to any of the children. I stayed facing the shelves. Maybe if I just kept working, whoever it was would go away. But Mother Super
•Miguel • The lounge was wrapped in low lights, and smoked coiled lazy spirals above the tables from cigars. I leaned back into the velvet-lined booth, cradling a glass Lagavulin between my fingers, Damien was holding court to my left, a brunette tucked against his side, her fake laugh







