FAZER LOGINMiguel I didn’t tell Damien that I was going back. I didn't have to. He knew before I said anything, “You’re doing the face again.”I looked at him, “What face?”“The one where you’ve already made a decision and you’re pretending you haven’t.” “I don’t have a face for that.”I shook my head and reached for my jacket. Damien smiled. “So, we’re going.”“We’re going.”“Good. Saves me from having to listen to you spend another hour pretending you’re not going.”The flight was quiet. Damien tried to distract me for most of it, and occasionally succeeded. But eventually my thoughts returned to the convent. “You’re going to ask again.”“Yes.”“Anf if they say no?”I looked out of the window, “Then I’ll ask why.““And if they don’t answer?”“I’ll keep asking.”Damien nodded, “That’s more like you.”When we landed, the driver was already waiting. He opened the door for us and took us straight toward the convent. Neither of us said much during the drive. I kept thinking about the entrance.
PenelopeI knew something had happened before anyone told me. The young nun found me near the laundry room. She didn’t speak immediately, she just simply stood there, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t quite place.“What?”“Can we talk?”“Of course,” my stomach tightened.“Of course.”She waited until we were away from the others before speaking. “Doctor Ramirez came.”Everything inside me stopped. “What?”“He came to the convent.”For a moment, I thought I had misunderstood her.“When?”“Recently.”My heart started beating faster. “Did you see him?”“No.”“Then how do you know?”“Someone told me.”I stepped closer, “Was he alone?”“With another man.”“He came here?”“Yes.”“He asked for me?”“Yes.”My eyes burned.“What did they tell him?”She hesitated before saying, “I don’t know everything.”“Tell me what you know.”“He asked to see you.”“My throat tightened.”“And?”“They told him you weren’t available.”I closed my eyes. He had come. He had actually come and they hadn’
MiguelI had spent enough time trying to convince myself that I should leave Penelope alone. That was the problem. Every time I tried, something brought me back to her.A song, a place, a stupid little thing she said weeks ago. Even silence itself. Especially silence. The letter sat on my desk, I had reread it so many times I knew parts of it without looking. Please move on. I should have listened. That was what I kept telling myself. Penelope had made her decision- she had returned to the convent and she had told me to let her go. Yet, something about those words had never felt like her. Not completely. I picked up the letter again while Damien was sitting across from me, watching. “You’re doing it again.”I looked up, “Doing what?”“Reading the same letter.”“I wasn’t.”“You were.”I dropped it onto the desk while Damien leaned back. “You’ve been doing this for quite some time.”“I know.”“And?”I looked at the letter, “I don’t know.”“That isn’t true.”I frowned, “What?”“You do k
PenelopeBy the next morning, I knew something had changed. No one said anything. They didn’t have to but the glance lasted a little too long. Conversations stopped when I entered the room. The young nun who had helped me yesterday wouldn’t even so much as look at me during breakfast. I understood what was going on immediately. Matilda had spoken to someone. Maybe everyone. I kept my head down and finished my meal. I had barely set my spoon down when a sister approached me, “Mother Superior wants you.” What did she want? That scared me a bit.Of course Mother Superior needed me. I followed her through the corridors without asking why. When I entered Mother Superior’s office, Matilda was already there. She stood beside the desk with her hands folded neatly in front of her. As I stopped, Mother Superior looked at me. “Close the door,” she said. I did. “Come here.” I stepped forward. Mother Superior studied me for several seconds, “Sister Matilda tells me you’ve been making accusatio
PenelopeI spent most of the morning pretending that I wasn’t waiting for the young nun, like I wasn’t waiting for an answer, or waiting for something, just anything. Anything that would tell me I wasn’t imagining what had happened to my letter. The waiting was worse than I expected. Every time footsteps passed outside, I looked up. Every time someone entered the corridor, I wondered whether it was her. By midday, I had almost convinced myself that she wouldn’t come. Perhaps, I had asked too much of her. I couldn’t blame her. I was basically asking her to break the rules for me. What had I ever done to her that would really make her help me? I wouldn’t blame her if she had changed her mind. Maybe the fear she had in her heart actually won. I couldn’t blame her if it had. I knew what happened to people who stepped outside the rules in this convent. I had learned this well enough. I was proof of what happened when you thought you could do things your way. I was returning from the din
PenelopeI barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the letter Mother Superior had placed in front of me. My handwriting, my name. My words. Mixed words that I had never writtenTo Mother Superior, I had taken my time to write that letter, only for her to summon me and for me to tell her I meant otherwise. That must have been very confusing. It was almost more disturbing that if someone had forged the entire thing, whoever had altered it hadn’t needed to imitate me. They had simply taken something that belonged to me and changed its meaning. More importantly, I couldn’t stop wondering about Miguel. What had he received? Had he even received anything at all? I turned onto my side and stared at the wall. The letter I had written to him had been so simple, so heartfelt. I simply wanted him to know I hadn’t stopped loving him. That mattered to me. And if Matilda had altered that letter too, Miguel could be sitting in Oakridge believing something completely different. I squeezed
•Penelope • The bell rang three times for afternoon prayer, and I was halfway through shelving the hymns when I headed the footsteps that didn’t seem to belong to any of the children. I stayed facing the shelves. Maybe if I just kept working, whoever it was would go away. But Mother Super
•Miguel • The lounge was wrapped in low lights, and smoked coiled lazy spirals above the tables from cigars. I leaned back into the velvet-lined booth, cradling a glass Lagavulin between my fingers, Damien was holding court to my left, a brunette tucked against his side, her fake laugh
•Penelope• I ignored the tingling between my thighs all evening. It didn’t help that during mass, Father Marshall, bless his soul—suddenly looked like Dr. Miguel Ramirez from the side. Same silver hair, same calm, unreadable expression. I blinked hard, looked back down at my prayer book, and
•Penelope•“I said no glue near your mouth, Noah.”I pulled the bottle gently from his hands before he could make a second attempt. The boys at Saint Jude’s Orphanage had a creative streak, which was a polite way of saying they spent most mornings testing how close they could get to trouble before







