เข้าสู่ระบบMarianna.
"From Monaco. Well—from Monaco and the Nice airport duty-free, which technically counts."
He pulls out a plastic bag. Inside is a box of Florian candied violets—the ones from that famous confectionery in Nice that's been around since 1820 or whatever. Not the fancy €40 gift box. The small one. The €12 tourist version that comes in a tin with a painting of the French Riviera on the lid.
"For you," he says, handing it over. "Because you used to steal Abuela's violet candies from the jar in her kitchen and think nobody noticed."
My throat tightens. I did steal them. Every Sunday after church, while Abuela was making arroz con pollo and Mami was gossiping with Tía Rosa in the living room. I'd sneak into the kitchen and take exactly three—never more, because I'd read somewhere that people don't notice small amounts going missing but they notice large amounts, and even at eight years old I was doing loss prevention mathematics.
"Marco—"
"Wait, there's more."
He digs deeper into the suitcase. Pulls out a second item: a keychain. One of those tacky tourist keychains with a tiny Monaco flag and a miniature Formula 1 car dangling from a metal ring. The kind you buy at a gas station for €3.50 when you realize you forgot to get souvenirs and your flight leaves in two hours.
"For your keys," he says. "When you get an apartment. Which you will, because you're employed now and I'm incredibly proud of you even though I express it through sarcasm and cheap gifts."
I hold the keychain. The little F1 car spins on its chain, catching the light.
"It's perfect," I say. And mean it.
"And last thing—" He reaches into the bag one more time. Hesitates. His expression shifts to something softer. More careful. "This isn't from Monaco. I've actually been carrying it around for a while. Kept meaning to send it to you, but..." He shrugs. That particular Reyes shrug that means I'm about to be emotionally vulnerable and I'd rather die.
It's a photo. Printed, not digital. Slightly bent at one corner from being in his suitcase.
Abuela and me. I'm maybe six, sitting on her lap in the kitchen of the house in Bayamón. She's wearing the yellow housedress she always wore—the one Mami said was ugly and Abuela said was cómodo and that was the end of the discussion. I'm holding a wooden spoon covered in something—tembleque, probably, the coconut pudding she made every Christmas—and laughing with my mouth wide open, showing the gap where my front teeth used to be.
Abuela's arm is around me. Protective. Certain.
She died when I was seventeen. The necklace I lost—the one the airline swallowed along with everything else—was hers.
"Found it in a box at Mami's house last month," Marco says quietly. "When I was looking for my old passport. Thought you should have it."
I can't speak. If I speak, I'll cry. And if I cry in front of both Marco and Duane, I will have to relocate to a new continent and assume a false identity.
I hug him instead. Quick. Tight. The kind of hug that says everything my mouth can't.
He hugs back. Pats my shoulder twice—the Marco version of an emotional outpouring—and then clears his throat.
"Okay," he says briskly, clearly uncomfortable with the feelings we just had. "Enough of that. I'm starving. Duane, you're taking us to dinner. Somewhere good. Somewhere that doesn't have a dollar menu."
He says this last part looking at me. Because he knows me. Knows my financial situation without either of us ever saying it out loud.
Duane, who has been standing silently through this entire exchange like a very expensive piece of furniture that occasionally breathes, says: "I know a place."
"A place" turns out to be a restaurant on Ocean Drive that I will never, ever, in my entire life, be able to afford.
Not because I haven't looked at the menu. I have. The menu has no prices. Which, in my experience, means the prices are so astronomical that displaying them would be considered a public health hazard.
The hostess—a woman whose cheekbones could file a police report on their own—leads us to a table on the terrace. Ocean view. Candles. The kind of ambient lighting that makes everyone look like they're in a perfume commercial.
Marco slides into the booth. Duane sits across from him. Which leaves me—
In the middle. Between them. Because the booth is a semicircle and Marco has already claimed one end and Duane the other and the only remaining space is the exact center, equidistant from both of them, like I'm the disputed territory in a geopolitical negotiation.
"This is nice," Marco says, picking up the menu with the casual confidence of someone who's spent the last three years schmoozing rich people in European cities. "Duane, you're paying, right?"
"Obviously."
"Great. I'm getting the lobster."
"There's no lobster on this menu."
"Then I'm getting whatever costs the most. Out of principle."
I'm studying the menu like it's going to be on a final exam. The appetizers have ingredients I can't pronounce. The mains involve preparations I'd need a culinary degree to understand. There's a section called "From the Sea" that I'm pretty sure costs more than my monthly student loan payment.
"Mari." Marco leans over. "Stop doing math. I can hear you doing math."
"I'm not doing math."
"You're calculating the per-ounce cost of the appetizers. Your left eye twitches when you do math. It's been doing it since we sat down."
My left eye is not twitching. My left eye is exhibiting a minor involuntary muscle spasm that is completely unrelated to the fact that the cheapest thing on this menu appears to be a side of roasted vegetables for what I estimate is approximately thirty-seven dollars.
"Just order something," Marco says. "Duane's buying. He can afford it. The man has a Bugatti."
"Two," Duane corrects.
"See? Two Bugattis. He could buy this restaurant and use it as a storage facility for his cars."
The waiter appears. Young, handsome, with the specific energy of someone who's an aspiring actor and considers this job "temporary" even though it's been four years.
"Good evening. Can I start you with drinks?"
"Whiskey, neat," Marco says. "Whatever's good."
"Water," Duane says.
The waiter looks at me.
"Wine," I say. "Whatever's..." I almost say cheapest and catch myself. "...the house recommendation."
"Excellent choice. I'll give you a moment with the menu."
He disappears. I mentally calculate that the whiskey probably costs $25 and the wine probably costs $18 and Duane's water is the only financially responsible decision at this table.
"So," Marco says, settling back into the booth with the easy sprawl of someone who owns the room even though he clearly doesn't. "Catch me up. How's the job? How's Miami? How's life as a single woman in the most aggressively horny city in America?"
"Marco."
"What? I'm asking genuine questions. I care about your wellbeing."
"You said 'aggressively horny.'"
"It's an accurate descriptor. Have you been to South Beach? Everyone looks like they're in a constant state of almost-hooking-up. The humidity alone is basically foreplay."
Duane takes a sip of his water. Says nothing. But I catch the slight tightening of his jaw. The micro-flex of his fingers around the glass.
"The job is great," I say, aggressively steering the conversation away from anything related to sex, horniness, or foreplay. "I love it. The team is amazing. Dr. Lindholm is incredible."
"And you're working with F1 drivers." Marco's grin widens. "My baby sister. Fixing the bodies of the fastest humans on Earth. Mami would be so proud."
"Mami doesn't know what F1 is."
"Mami thinks F1 is that vitamin supplement Tía Rosa takes for her joints."
I laugh despite myself. He's not wrong.
"Speaking of F1—" Marco turns to Duane. "How's the shoulder? You looked rough in that Monaco crash replay. I almost had a heart attack watching it."
"It's fine," Duane says.
"'Fine' meaning actually fine, or 'fine' meaning 'I'm going to pretend it's fine until my arm falls off because I'm allergic to admitting weakness'?"
"The former."
"Convincing." Marco's voice is thick with sarcasm. "Your shoulder's fine. Just like Mari's face is fine. Everyone's fine. We're all fine. The 'I'm fine' table at the world's most overpriced restaurant."
The drinks arrive. I take a very large sip of my wine.
"You know who's not fine?" Marco continues, apparently on a roll. "Alina. I saw her in Monaco. She cornered me at the Leclerc after-party—"
My wine goes down the wrong pipe.
I cough. Violently. The kind of cough that makes heads turn at neighboring tables and makes waiters reach for the Heimlich maneuver.
Marianna POVDuane: Actually fine. McCartney checked it post-race. Eighty-six. The Parabolica exit was a six.I file the six. Add a note about the Parabolica exit load for the Suzuka call.Me: Get some sleep.Duane: You too.Then, after a pause that's longer than usual:Duane: You were right. About what you said last night. About deciding.I read this three times.Me: So were you. About okay being enough.No response for a few minutes. Then:Duane: Goodnight, Marianna.Me: Goodnight.Monday. The paddock dismantles itself with the efficiency of an operation that has done this seventy-odd times a year for decades. Trucks. Crates. The organized reverse of everything that took days to build.I'm packing the Kinetic kit when Oliver appears in the doorway with two espressos and the expression of someone who has been waiting for a reasonable hour to have a conversation and has decided this is it."Sit," I tell him. "The client chair."He sits. Hands me one of the espressos. "How are you?""B
Marianna POVI sit on Table 3 in the empty treatment room and let that land for a while.Sunday. Race day.The shoulder tape goes on at six fifty AM, seventeen minutes earlier than Thursday because Duane's pre-race focus sharpens the schedule—he arrives earlier, moves through preparation faster, the entire system of him calibrating toward the start lights. McCartney does the primary work; I assist with the AC anchor strip, which requires a specific angle that's easier with two sets of hands.We work in the efficient silence we've developed. McCartney assesses, I apply, Duane sits on the table and occasionally reports a sensation with the accuracy that has been consistent since Zandvoort. Eighty-seven percent today—he offers it unprompted when he comes in, before McCartney asks, which she notes in the file with what I've come to recognize as her version of being pleased."The 130R equivalent here is Parabolica," I tell him, while McCartney does the neck work. "Sustained lateral load in
Marianna POVHe arrives at the Kinetic space, still in team kit, hair slightly damp from the post-qualifying shower. He closes the door behind him and reads the room in approximately two seconds—me sitting on the edge of Table 3, hands in my lap, the specific quality of someone who has been waiting and has used the waiting time to organize her thoughts rather than spiral through them.He sits in the chair across from me. Oliver's sprawling chair. Alina's chair, from this afternoon."Tell me," he says.So I do.I keep it clean, the way McCartney delivers information. Alina's visit. What Luca has been saying. The word that's been circulating through paddock conversations. The probable chain of transmission from his apartment hallway to Alina's careless dinner conversation to Luca's deliberate distribution of something that was never his to touch.He listens without interrupting. His face does the controlled thing, the mask settling into place, but underneath it something is happening—I
Marianna POVThe thing about Alina Lindqvist is that she's very good at waiting.I don't fully understand this until Friday morning, when she doesn't do anything. She's just—present. In the paddock, which she has credentials for because she's been a Veloce brand ambassador for two years, a fact I learn from Oliver's comprehensive source network at approximately 9 AM.In the hospitality unit, talking to team partners with the easy fluency of someone who has been navigating these spaces since before I knew what a paddock was. Near the garage during FP1, standing with a group of sponsors in a way that puts her in Duane's sightline every time he comes off the pit wall.Not doing anything. Just being there.It's actually impressive. As a strategy, I mean. Clinically speaking.I treat Luca at eight, Oliver at ten, spend the lunch hour writing up the Suzuka preparation notes for Patrick's Wednesday call. McCartney finds me at two with an update on Duane's shoulder—AC joint down to minimal in
Marianna POVThe trattoria is exactly what Oliver described and also completely beyond what Oliver described, because Oliver's descriptions are enthusiastic but his sensory vocabulary is primarily sports-based, so the owner has been making it for forty years doesn't quite capture the specific atmosphere of a room with six tables and a ceiling that has absorbed forty years of good cooking, a woman in her sixties who assesses us when we walk in with the calm authority of someone whose cacio e pepe doesn't need our approval, and candles that are the working kind rather than the decorative kind.We're given a table in the back. The kind of table that a restaurant like this gives people it has decided to accommodate—tucked away, good light, slightly separate from the room's main current of activity.Duane orders in Italian, which I was not prepared for. Not tourist Italian, not the careful pronunciation of someone working through a phrase from their phone—actual Italian, easy and unaccente
Marianna POVMonza in September is everything Zandvoort is not.Where Zandvoort is compact and coastal and smells like the sea, Monza sprawls through a royal park north of Milan with the unhurried confidence of a circuit that has been here since 1922 and has no particular interest in impressing you. The trees are enormous. The tarmac is old in a way you can feel through your shoes. The main straight is so long that watching cars accelerate down it feels less like motorsport and more like witnessing something that should probably be illegal on principle.The espresso is extraordinary. Italy is doing this on purpose.My hotel is a twenty-minute bus ride from the circuit, in a part of Monza that is regular-city rather than race-weekend-city—a pharmacy, a bakery, a woman who yells something at a cat from a third-floor window every morning at seven, a specific kind of narrow street that seems designed to fit exactly one Fiat Punto and the memory of a Fiat Punto. My room has a window that l




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