5

Let Me Be Your Sin

Kendra 

I don't sleep at all. Every time I close my eyes, I see Axel walking toward that faculty party with murder in his eyes. By morning, my phone had seventeen missed calls from him and three text messages.

It's done.

We need to talk.

Meet me before class.

But when I get to campus, Axel isn't waiting for me. Instead, there's a note taped to my locker: Dean's office. Now. - A

My stomach drops. This can't be good.

The administrative building feels like a tomb as I walk down the hallway. Through the glass windows of the dean's office, I can see Axel sitting in a chair across from Dean Morrison. His knuckles are bruised.

"Ah, Miss Hayes," Dean Morrison says when I knock. "Please, come in."

Professor West is sitting in the corner, looking perfectly composed. He gives me a small smile that makes my skin crawl.

"Sit down, Miss Hayes," the dean continues. "We have a serious situation to discuss."

I take the chair next to Axel. He won't look at me.

"Mr. Cross has been accused of harassment," Dean Morrison says. "Professor West claims that last night, at a private faculty gathering, Mr. Cross made threatening statements and accusations of an inappropriate nature."

"What kind of accusations?" I ask, though my voice comes out barely above a whisper.

"The kind that could destroy a man's career," Professor West says smoothly. "Based on nothing but rumors and a young man's misguided sense of heroism."

Axel's jaw clenches. "Misguided?"

"Mr. Cross," Dean Morrison warns. "You're already on thin ice."

"I told the truth," Axel says, his voice hard. "About what he's been doing to her."

All eyes turn to me. The room feels like it's spinning.

"Miss Hayes," Professor West says gently, "would you please tell Dean Morrison about our professional relationship? How I've been mentoring you, helping with your grades?"

I stare at him. This is it. This is my chance to tell the truth, to expose him for what he really is. But the words won't come. All I can think about is my scholarship, my future, everything he could take away with one phone call.

"Professor West has been... helpful," I finally managed.

Axel whips his head toward me, his eyes wide with betrayal. "Kendra?"

"He's helped me with my grades," I continue, hating myself with every word. "He's never been inappropriate."

The look on Axel's face breaks my heart. He thought I would back him up. He thought I was brave enough to tell the truth.

"I see," Dean Morrison says. "Mr. Cross, it appears your concerns were unfounded."

"Unfounded?" Axel stands up so fast his chair falls over. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Mr. Cross.."

"She's lying because she's scared of him!"

"That's enough," Dean Morrison snaps. "You're suspended from all extracurricular activities pending a full investigation. Any further harassment of Professor West will result in expulsion."

Axel looks at me one more time, his expression full of hurt and anger. "I should've left you alone," he says quietly. "Just like you wanted."

He storms out, leaving me sitting there with Professor West's satisfied smile burning into my memory.

+++++++

An hour later, I'm standing outside Professor West's office as he locks the door behind us.

"You did the right thing, Kendra," he says. "Though I have to admit, I'm disappointed in your choice of allies."

"I told you to stay away from him."

"And yet here we are." He moves closer. "Mr. Cross made quite the scene last night. Very dramatic. Very foolish."

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing that matters now. What matters is that you understand the consequences of his actions." Professor West reaches out and touches my cheek. "Your scholarship is safe. Your grades are safe. As long as you remember where your loyalty belongs."

I jerk away from his touch. "I need to go."

"Of course. But Kendra?" I turn back at the door. "Next time you might not have a choice to make. I'd hate for things to become... unpleasant."

+++++++

The rain starts just as I leave the building. Cold, heavy drops that soak through my jacket within minutes. I don't care. I deserve to be miserable.

I find myself at the old bench by the library, the same one where Axel found me crying before. The irony isn't lost on me.

I betrayed him. The one person who was trying to help me, and I threw him under the bus to save myself. Just like I always do.

"You're going to get pneumonia sitting out here."

I look up through the rain to see Axel standing there, his hair dripping wet.

"Go away," I say.

"Can't do that."

"Why not? I lied to the dean. I made you look like an idiot. Isn't that enough?"

He sits down next to me on the bench. "You were scared."

"I was a coward."

"You were protecting yourself. There's a difference."

I laugh, but it comes out more like a sob. "Is there? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like the same thing."

"Kendra.."

"You were right to stay away from me. I'm not worth the trouble."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. You risked everything to help me, and I.."

"You did what you had to do to survive." His voice is fierce. "I get that now."

We sat in silence for a moment, both of us soaked to the bone.

"What did you say to him at the party?" I ask finally.

"The truth. That he's been manipulating you. That he's a predator hiding behind his position."

"And?"

"And he laughed. Said I had no proof, no credibility. Just the words of a dumb jock against a respected professor."

"Axel.."

"He's not wrong. Who's going to believe me?"

I turn to look at him. Rain is dripping from his dark hair, and his eyes are full of something I can't name.

"I believe you," I whisper.

"Do you?"

"Yes."

Something shifts between us. The air feels charged, electric. Dangerous.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he says suddenly. "Even when I should hate you for lying, I can't stop thinking about you."

My breath catches. "Axel.."

"Tell me to walk away," he says, moving closer. "Tell me to leave you alone, and I will."

But I can't. The words won't come.

"I'm so tired of being afraid," I whisper.

"Then don't be. Not with me."

Before I can think about all the reasons this is a bad idea, his lips are on mine. The kiss is hard, desperate, full of all the anger and frustration and fear we've been carrying. I kiss him back like he's the only solid thing in a world that's falling apart.

His hands tangle in my wet hair. I grab the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. Everything else, the rain, the cold, Professor West's threats disappears.

Until a bright light cuts through the darkness.

We break apart, blinking in the harsh beam of a flashlight. My heart stops when I see who's holding it.

Professor West stands at the edge of the courtyard, watching us with that cold smile I've learned to fear.

"I was hoping you'd make this mistake," he says…