4 - A father's despair

"I want to be a nun." Declared Sarah.

Her father sauntered out of his wine bar, holding a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a burning cigar between the fingers of his other hand. "Another ploy you brought from Chicago to rattle my chains, uh?" He casually asked, putting the cigar between his lips for a pull.

"This is not a joke, dad." She said grimly. "I really want to be a nun."

She knew her father would find it very difficult to believe her so she wasn’t too surprised when the old stout man threw his head backwards and barked a laughter. "You are just like your mother, always joking!" he said with a lingering smile on his face as he uncorked the bottle of whiskey and poured himself some into a glass cup.

Sarah suddenly seemed annoyed, she got up and walked towards him slowly. "I. Am. Not. Kidding!" She emphatically stated each word solemnly.

Sensing the seriousness of her tone now, her father gave her an intense stare then said more to himself. "You can't be serious." He turned and started walking towards his built-in office in the mansion.

She followed suit, not willing to easily give up. Her mind was made up now and there was no turning back. “Dad, I really need to do this!"

"You are talking nonsense, child!" He said sternly over his shoulder, still walking. "You are getting married in four months, remember?"

"I broke up with Fred!" She practically cried out.

Her father halted now and turned sideways to regard his daughter for a moment. "Did the little cretin hurt you?" His eyes were literally blazing brimstones. "Tell me and I'll snuff the very life out of him."

She frowned at her father. He had always had an insulting name for whomever she dated. He had called her previous boyfriend a whelp. "No." She looked away, immediately avoiding eye contact. Her father had grown to read her emotions through her eyes ever since her mother died and her demise had made their bon stronger. "I just want that serenity I've always sought after. I want to live in the Convent."

Her father shook his head in strong disagreement. "Are you out of your mind? Do you know what women do in the convent? They practically sell off their freedom and cease to exist! It's like a prison in there and you are not saying another word about it!" He resolutely stated. “I won’t be alive and watch you waste the rest of your life away in some damn convent!”

"I'm fully aware of what I'm about getting into, dad, I only came here to get your approval." She replied.

He turned and stalked into his office, swallowed his drink in a single gulp then slammed the thick glass down on his mahogany desk. "I'm not giving it! I will not watch my only child make such a terrible mistake of her life! You are going to give up on..." He wildly gestured around in the air with his hands. "...all these and go live in the convent like a nobody?!"

Sarah sighed sadly, understanding her father’s plight but she knew there was nothing he could say that would change her mind. "You don’t have to worry about a thing, father, I have done my research…” She folded her arms across her chest now as she completed: “The church will cater for all my needs and I won’t have to bother you about anything."

"Not on my watch!" He suddenly slammed the desk with his palm, making Sarah flinch in surprise and fear at his sudden outburst. "Not when I still live! You were never a religious person in the first place, so where the hell are all these frivolous ideas coming from anyway?!" He glared at her.

"...from me..." She barely whispered, dreading another outburst.

"And let me guess, your friend is coming along and you want me to foot her bills too? She has become your shadow for years."

Sarah turned away, clearly hurt. When she turned to look at her father again, her eyes were glassy with tears. “No.” She managed to say, quickly blinking away the tears so that her father didn’t notice. It wasn’t surprising that she was still hurt by Helen’s betrayal. It was still fresh in her heart even though it was almost twenty-four hours. “It is just going to be me this time.”

Her father seemed flustered but he seemed to relax for a moment. Thoughtfully weighing her happiness over his discretions, he crushed out the stub of his cigar in an ash tray and looked up at her. "Are you sure no one is pressuring you to do this?" He suspiciously asked.

Sarah almost laughed, no one could ever force her to do anything she didn't want do. "This is what I want, father." She answered.

"Will you be happy...huh...in there?"  He nervously cleared his throat as if finding it difficult to mention the word Convent.

"Yes."

He sighed after a minute or two then turned away. "When do you want to leave?" He asked and Sarah didn’t miss the reluctance and sadness in her father’s tone.

"Next week." She glanced down and answered softly.

He turned sharply to stare at her with his brows creased in shock. "Next week?! Are you running away from someone? The law? Are you in some trouble? Just tell me what you did and I'll get it fixed and you don't have to go into hiding!" He spat the last word bitterly.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Dad, I didn’t break any laws and neither am I running away from anyone, I'm simply running away from this world… I need a break from all these…” She gestured around with her hands to indicate the luxury of the mansion. “I want to go somewhere different…away from here… Mum would have wanted this." She deliberately added the last sentence knowing how the mention of her late mother still deeply affected her father.

As expected, her father exhaled at the mention of his wife and softly asked, obviously letting go of any fight he still had left against her decision. "Is there anything else you want?" There was a hint of resignation in his voice now.

Sarah nodded, sitting on the edge of his desk. "I want to make a request, dad, and I want you to do this because it would mean a lot to me. I want no one to know who I truly am; I don't want to use your name." Before her father opened his mouth to protest, she quickly added. "I'll feel safer and get along just fine that way in the convent. I have been treated differently in a privileged manner all my life because of my background. I just want to live a simple life and blend in well with other people this time."

He looked away, the slight wrinkles on his face, more visible now as he contemplated her request. He was always trying to act the tough man and hide his emotions from her but she knew better. She remembered how he had looked so quiet and lost after her mother's death.

She had even caught him crying in this very office in the middle of the night with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He had fallen asleep at his desk but the housekeeper who had worked for them for years and had become part of the family ever since Sarah had been a toddler, had woken him and helped him to his room.

Two days later, he had travelled on a business trip for two months but Sarah knew that his unusual long stay away from home was all a clever ruse to spend some time away from the house which still bore so many memories of her mother. Although, He had asked her to come with him, she had refused because she still wanted to feel closer to her mother, not run away from it. Just looking at him now made her see through to the softness which really laid within, although covered with a menacing exterior. She stood up and approached him now as guilt consumed her. Perhaps she hadn’t thought this over; she hadn’t thought how making this decision would affect her father; she had only selfishly considered herself, forgetting that she was all he had left. When she stopped in front of him, she looked into his eyes then slowly wrapped her arms around his neck.

He was the only man who genuinely loved her and she had no doubt concerning that. He seemed a bit taken aback by her outward show of affection, then after a brief hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her too and stroking her hair as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to conceal his own emotions and keep them at bay.

Her going to the convent felt like she was leaving him just like her mother had, but he had made a promise to his wife on her deathbed that in everything he did, Sarah would always come first.

Moments later, the sudden clearing of a throat got their attention, made them separate and turn towards the direction. The housekeeper was standing in the door way. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but you have a visitor, Sarah." She stated politely, more in a motherly way.

Sarah excused herself from her father and followed the housekeeper out, trying to remember if she had fixed an appointment with anybody; after a while, she mentally shook her head; she was sure that she wasn't expecting anyone.

She slowed down as she approached the foyer when she saw who it was- Fred. Kindly dismissing the housekeeper, she walked towards Fred and cleared her throat to get his attention since his back was turned to her and he was busy admiring the statue of a semi-nude roman god set near the door.

"Fred." She said without the slightest bit of emotion attached to it, trying to act tough and unaffected by what had transpired the previous day.

He turned then smiled, nervously rubbing his palms against his pants. He always had sweaty palms whenever he was nervous. "Sarah." He called softly.

"What are you doing here?" She asked tersely, folding her arms under her chest.

"I've been trying to reach you but my calls keep going to voicemail. I went over to your place but when I couldn't find you...well, I figured that you’d be here…so...here I'm" He finished a bit awkwardly, flashing her one of his breathtaking smiles but her face remained hard and unsmiling. When he noticed that she wasn't the least impressed and was still obviously mad at him, he began to sweat and fret. "...huh... Sarah... I..." He stuttered. “I…really want to apologize about yesterday. I am sorry about what you saw but I know that we can still fix things and make it work… I give you my word that I am going to cut Helen off and I am more than willing to-”

Sarah cut him short from continuing by raising her palm. "Don't!" She simply said. "If you came here to kiss and make up, Fred, I've already informed my father that I've cancelled the wedding." He visibly turned pale now and glanced towards the stairs as if afraid her father would make an entrance at that moment but Sarah continued nonetheless. "...and if you also came here thinking that I told on you and Helen, well, I got good news for both of you...." She added. "I did not, so be rest assured that I've not severed all the luxuries or favors your ties to my family gives you both."

He was suddenly washed with relief and it seemed this information suddenly fueled his courage now. "Baby, honey... I'm very sorry, I just didn't-" He drew closer to her, trying to pacify her.

Sarah interrupted again before he could finish. "Please, don’t act like you care or feel any remorse for what you did. You only came here to save your neck, and like I said you are still in my father’s good graces, and if this is all, Fred, I bid you farewell, I'm sure you can show yourself out. And so you know, this is the last time we are ever going to see each other. I am going to the convent. It took me this long to actually realize that you and Helen deserve each other." Without giving him any chance to speak, she turned and stalked towards the direction of the large garden, leaving him dumbfounded.

***

“What do we do?” Fred asked as he paced the living room, one hand on his hip and the other on his head. He was greatly distressed unlike Helen who comfortably sat in the couch, watching him go back and forth.

“Do you think she is really serious about becoming a nun?” She asked with a cringe. “That girl is full of surprises, isn’t she?”

“That is not the case now, Helen.” Fred paused to say to her. “She might have forgiven us now by keeping her mouth shut but what if she comes back and changes her mind, I am fucked! There is just so much at stake.” He resumed pacing again, nervously chewing on his nails this time.

Helen thought for a moment, the stated. “Then we have to make sure that she never comes back.”

Fred paused again to look at her. “If she is going to the convent in the country where I think she is going, then we can make things work in our favor. I met some guy online a couple of months back. I think he’s a pimp or something. I could make a deal with him and he could have Sarah kidnapped. That way, we are certain of her never returning, and if she turns up dead, her father would have no choice than to make you his heir and will his property to you and I know that I will surely benefit from this. I am more like a daughter to him now.” She finished with a smile then pulled herself to sit on the edge of the chair, staring into Fred’s eyes who was now very focused on her with a look of seriousness. “This is our only shot, Fred. We just have to make sure that this guy picks her from the airport and keeps her in captivity. I am sure that she would be drugged numerous times and if she eventually gets out years later, she will be nothing but a junkie who is useless to herself and the society. Either way, it is a win for us as long as she never gets to find out that we are involved in the kidnap.”

Fred slowly nodded his head in agreement then broke into a smile. “You are genius!” He pulled her up to her feet, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately. When he finally broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes and said, “If this works out as planned, I am going to buy you the best things money can afford. I am going to treat you like the queen you are, Helen.”

She smiled. “You had better… you owe me one, Fred.”

He kissed her again. “Call the guy. We will pay him to do this job. As long as he can make her disappear forever, I am willing to pay whatever he asks for.”

“Fine…” She turned to take her phone from her purse and began to dial the number. “Now that Sarah is out of the way, we are gonna get married, right?” She asked.

He hesitated then pursed his lips briefly. “We still have to keep our relationship a secret to keep any suspicions off us.”

She was about to say something when a male voice finally answered through the phone. She shot him a look, turned and started walking away to privately have the call. She decided she would continue the discussion with Fred later.