Chapter 1

The night my first wildlife documentary premiered at a Los Angeles film festival, Adrian sent Claire a message: I can't breathe. She left before the theater lights went down.

Last winter, the three of us were caught in a pileup on the freeway. Claire climbed out through the passenger door and rode to the emergency room with Adrian, who had only a cut above his eyebrow. Firefighters were still cutting me out of the driver's side twenty minutes later.

At the hospital, she sat beside my bed and promised that once we were married, she would start putting our life first. I believed her, and when Northstar Studios offered me a fourteen-month directing job in East Africa, I turned it down so I could stay for our wedding.

On the morning we were supposed to make our marriage legal, Claire walked into City Hall with Adrian beside her. I assumed he had come as a witness until she placed a marriage application on the counter and I saw Adrian Vale listed as her spouse.

“Claire, what is this?”

She asked the clerk for a minute and led me away from the counter. Adrian remained in the waiting area with a medical file pressed against his chest and a clean bandage around his left wrist.

“He had another crisis last night,” Claire said, handing me a psychiatric assessment. “His doctor found him a place in a residential treatment program. If we marry, I can add him to my employer health plan and get him admitted right away.”

I looked from the form to Adrian. “I can cover the first month while we find another solution.”

“The program could last a year, Ethan. Insurance is the only stable option we have.” Her fingers closed around mine. “As soon as he's well enough, I'll divorce him. Our wedding in October can go ahead exactly as planned.”

The application had been signed the previous afternoon, so I asked why she had said nothing the night before.

“I didn't know how.” Her eyes dropped to the envelope holding the documents I had brought for our appointment. “You've waited so long for today, and I knew this would hurt you. But Adrian nearly died last night.”

A chair scraped behind us. Adrian had risen and was heading for the exit, clutching the medical file under one arm.

“Forget it, Claire. I won't go through with treatment.”

She hurried after him and caught his sleeve. “Your doctor said you can't be alone.”

“I've already ruined your appointment. I won't make Ethan lose his wedding too.”

He pulled away, and a red stain began spreading along the edge of his bandage. Claire guided him back to the chair, then looked at me across the waiting room.

“Give me one year,” she said. “Once he finishes treatment, everything goes back to the way we planned it.”

When the clerk called her name again, I closed the application and placed it in her hands.

I could have stopped the ceremony, but stopping it would not change the fact that Claire had prepared to marry another man without telling me. Her decision had already been made. The only decision left was mine.

“If this is what you’ve chosen, sign it.”

For a moment, Claire only stared at me before wrapping her arms around my neck, relief loosening her shoulders.

“Ethan, you're still the only man I want a wedding with.”

I did not hold her back.

She believed she had borrowed our wedding for one year. She did not understand that some things could not be returned after being given to someone else.

Adrian came over before she could say anything else and reminded her that the clerk was waiting. She released me, took his arm, and walked with him into the ceremony room while the glass door closed behind them.

I called our wedding planner from the hallway.

“This is Ethan Cole. I need to cancel the October twelfth booking.”

She pulled up the contract and reminded me that the venue and catering deposits were nonrefundable. I authorized the penalties, ended the call, and opened the email I had declined three weeks earlier.

Is the director position on the East Africa series still available? I wrote.

Six minutes later, field producer Maya Torres replied:

It is. Wheels up for Nairobi in ten days.

When the ceremony room opened again, Claire walked out carrying a certified marriage certificate. She slipped it into Adrian's medical folder, then reminded me that the party we had planned to celebrate our civil marriage was still scheduled for seven that evening.

“Everyone is expecting us,” she said. “I need to submit Adrian's insurance paperwork, so I'll pick you up later.”

Adrian gave me a solemn nod as if we had just completed a difficult business transaction. Claire kept one hand around his arm while they headed for the parking garage.

On my drive home, my phone lit up with a new Instagram post from Adrian. The photo had been taken on the steps outside City Hall, where Claire stood with the certificate in her hand while his arm rested around her waist.

Just like when we were kids, she never leaves me when it matters.

I tapped the heart, and less than a minute later, my college roommate Noah sent me a message asking whether the post was real. When I confirmed it was, he called three times in a row. I declined every call and told him the wedding had been canceled.

His reply filled half my screen, most of it profanity directed at Claire and Adrian. Once he ran out of insults, he asked whether I still planned to attend the party, and I told him I would be there.

Claire arrived at my apartment shortly before seven. She had changed into a dark green dress, but the engagement ring I had given her was still on her left hand.

She called Adrian as soon as I got into the car. He did not answer. Over the next twenty minutes, she tried twice more and sent enough messages to fill the screen.

“I only asked him to ride to the hotel with a friend,” she said as she stopped at a red light. “Now he thinks I abandoned him the second the ceremony ended.”

I watched her type another apology. “He knows you had plans with me tonight.”

“He isn't thinking clearly. The doctor warned me that rejection could trigger another episode.”

By the time we reached the hotel, Claire had received no reply. She handed her keys to the valet, then caught my wrist before I could step away.

“Ethan, about what happened today...”

Her grip disappeared as she looked past me.

Adrian was standing near the hotel entrance with his back to us. Claire crossed the driveway before the valet had even moved her car and wrapped both arms around his waist.

“Why didn't you answer me?”

He pulled free and turned away. Claire followed, explaining that she had only gone to pick me up because the party had originally been planned for us. Adrian said something too low for me to hear, and she reached for his hand.

I entered the ballroom alone and, since Noah had been called away by a client, took a drink from a passing server before finding a place near the back of the room. Claire and Adrian came in ten minutes later with their fingers intertwined.

His Instagram post had already made its way through the party. Conversations slowed as people noticed them, and someone near the bar raised a glass before calling over the music.

“Come on, newlyweds. At least give us a kiss.”