LOGIN(Clarice)It feels like the kitchen has shrunk to the size of a doll’s house.After Natasha's kidnapping I realized that I couldn’t put this off any longer.And not only because of the sword James is holding over my head.The truth is unlikely to give me my eldest daughter and my son back, but if there’s even the faintest chance that they could forgive me, I have to take it.If Natasha can see past the fact that I abandoned her, maybe she can get past the truth of my character as well.With time.Holding her in my arms the other night, realizing part of her still craved comfort from her mother, ignited a flame of hope in my heart.Then she and Nathanial ganged up on me, demanding the truth.Natasha is at the table.Hands flat on the wood.She hasn’t touched the tea I made her.Nathaniel is by the sink. Arms folded.I sit down. I don’t know where to put my hands."I'm going to tell you everything," I say. "I know I’m going to tell it badly because there’s no good way to say any of this
(Chase)The drive takes more than an hour but I don't have a memory of any of it.Mason is at the wheel.I'm in the passenger seat.Nathaniel and Julian are on opposite ends of the backseat not speaking.At some point Julian falls asleep against the window and wakes himself up swearing about it.The address Nathanial wrote on the whiteboard turns out to be a property at the end of a long gravel drive lined with cypresses.The cypresses are wet because someone's been running sprinklers on a vineyard nearby.The estate is lit up like a Christmas card from hell.Two police cruisers.An ambulance.A black Mercedes parked at a crooked angle on the gravel like someone got out in a hurry and didn't care.Mason parks twenty feet from the house.The four of us get out. Nobody slams a door.Jeffrey Bauer in a sport coat is on his knees in the gravel by the porch.Two cops behind him with their hands on their belts.I don't look at him long enough to know if he sees me.I don’t give a damn about
(Natasha)The drive is gravel and long enough to make a point.Two full minutes of crunch.The kind of approach you build when you don't want neighbors.The driver kills the engine.The man from the passenger seat comes round, opens my door, cuts the zip ties with a small folding knife in three controlled motions.I rub the welts and don't thank him.Thank you would be wrong on every conceivable level.Jeffrey Bauer is waiting on the porch.He’s wearing a sport coat with an open collar and the expression of a man who’s rehearsed smiling in a mirror."Natasha."He says it the way people say finally.He’s cooked me dinner.The dining table is laid for two.White table cloth, candles in silver holders, a platter under a domed lid on the sideboard.The French doors at the far end open onto a flagstone terrace.I take careful note of where all the exits are.Doors and windows.Any place with an opening large enough for me to crawl out of.Jeffrey pulls out my chair like we’re on a date.My
(Mason)The Stein conference room currently has four men in it who, in any normal arrangement of the universe, would not be in the same room, unless it was at an event.Chase is at the head of the table because no one told him not to be, and he just assumed that was his designated place.I’m not arguing about bullshit right now. He can stay there.He's on the phone, giving directions to a private security firm out of Vegas.The half-million he wired them an hour ago is making sure they listen.They’re already in the air, on their way to LA.Nathanial is at the window.His posture suggests brute-force self-control.He hasn't sat down once.In fact, he’s been pacing since he got here.I want to snap at him to just sit the fuck down, but I get why he’s strung so tight.We’re all right on the edge of panic.The only thing keeping us from going over the edge is the fact that Natasha needs us.Then there's Julian.I think we all expected him to be completely and utterly useless.I’m not eve
(Natasha)My week is going exceptionally well, which should have been my first warning.The panel went smoothly on Monday.Bauer's lawyers fold by Tuesday.Lily slept eight hours straight last night for the first time since the transfusion.I leave the office at six thirty with half a chocolate eclair in my hand because Priya keeps a bag of them in the small fridge under her desk and has decided I’m too thin.The garage on level B2 is the usual at this hour.Very little foot traffic.Most employees are on their way home already.The fluorescent strip above the lift bay is flickering. I’ll have to get maintenance to take care of that tomorrow.My white Volvo is in my personal parking space.I press the unlock on the fob, licking cream from the corner of my mouth, and the lights blink twice at me from the far end of the row.A white laundry van is parked two slots over from mine. Engine running quietly.I guess they’re running late today. They usually drop the tablecloths and things by
(Bauer)The lobby fountain is dry.I noticed this morning, on my way in, that the small bronze koi at the bottom of the basin have started to corrode at the gills.Theresa would have known the maintenance schedule on it.Theresa is no longer here.Theresa quit on the eighth, which was a Thursday, which was, I’m told, two days after the SEC formally dropped me from their list of persons of interest.The news interpreted that as exoneration.They’re wrong.The SEC also drops you when they’ve decided you’re no longer worth the cost of pursuing.I’ve lost everything already. There’s nothing left for them to take.That’s not exoneration. That’s dismissal.Theresa understood this. That’s why she left.I’m at my desk on the forty-fourth floor.My calendar is open in front of me.Two small marks in my own hand on Tuesday and Friday.They’re not my appointments.They’re her appointments.I’ve been keeping a copy of Natasha's calendar for nine weeks.A hacker got me access to the actual one on
(Nathanial)Holding my phone to my ear, I stare out the large window of my office."Mother, you need to come to Los Angeles," I tell her firmly."Sonia is pregnant. She is very upset and needs you right now."A long, heavy silence fills the line."You know I can’t go to Los Angeles, Nathanial," my
(Chase)Lily will not sleep.She was fine during the show, fine through the chaos of the evening, perfectly content while Mason was here and the room was full of noise and movement.The moment things quieted down she decided she had opinions about it.I walk her through the townhouse in slow loops,
(Natasha)The drawing room buzzes with the sound of Eleanor’s guests.The string quartet is playing a lively, hollow tune. But the social adrenaline is fading from my bloodstream.Chase hasn’t come back and I can only assume he’s spending the night with Sonia.I don’t know why I’m even allowing tha
(Nathanial)Walking up the wide stone steps of the Warren estate, I keep a close eye on my sister.Sonia walks stiffly beside me, keeping her hands carefully folded over her perfectly flat stomach.She shivers, blaming the cold wind, but I know she’s anxious about seeing Chase and Natasha’s child.







