She Was The Queen

My paws pounded against the snow. Prints of blood followed behind– my heart doing the same against my chest. Fear on my tail, and what it had done to me was enough to have anyone running for their life. It had ripped everything I cared about from my grasp and left me to watch. For the first time, tears ran down my furry face and my chest tightened as the wind forced itself against me. The world became a blur of saltwater in my eyes. The distance I had been running exceeded my usual.

I wanted to live, needed to live but grief was heavy on my shoulders. My muscles couldn’t take it, they burned like a candle to skin. I wanted to stop and breathe, grieve, cry. Breathe! But blood-thirsty growls reminded by burning legs – run!

Hungry growls grew louder, jagged in impatience. I wouldn't let them catch up, I didn’t win races since I was young for nothing. I couldn’t fight or shed blood but I could run.

My mother's words echoed in my mind as I kept on doing what she had been telling me. Run. Just run and never look back.

Tears squeezed out of my eyes. Without thought, I was moving instinctively on a path unknown. My mind searched for alternatives. I prayed to the Sun goddess, Yaga, who gave me strength, begging her to spare me. Give me one more day to seek vengeance for her creation, my family, my pack. But today she didn't give me strength. I felt weak. My knees wanted to buckle. Today, She wasn't shining, She was behind the grey clouds that placed a lid around the sky, scattering perpetual white flakes in the cold. This was our weakness as sun wolves, winter, and our enemies knew it.

The fatigue kicked in as I jumped several roots and meandered countless trees. All these fast-flying objects made me dizzy and my vision grew impaired. I slid clumsily across an iced river.

My scent was probably dense in the air due to the blood oozing from my paws.

This was an unfair battle and I was alone, running from a pack of black and dangerous ex-alpha, the Azraels. How was it fair? It wasn't.

Their dark claws flashed in my memory as I found my feet again. Sharp and merciless, ravenous and hungry. I tried to claw them off my brother who cried out for me to save him but they clawed back in several places, reaping blood out of me. Their alpha, the biggest one sniffed my blood and licked it. His eyes glowed golden for a split second then back into a dark pit. I watched them slaughter my entire pack and drink their blood for a rush, a high.

I blinked the dark image out of my mind and glanced back and saw them, ravaging near the bank and onto the frozen river. Fear took over again, now mixed with stamina, I couldn't die today. I wasn't dying today. Be it with Yaga’s help or not, I wasn’t dying today. I pounced away, deeper and deeper into the forest in the darkness of the day. My front paw caught hold of a root and I was sent flying forward. I never gave them the chance to catch up though, and got right up. The world spun. I saw visions of their sharp canines and hungry eyes. Sun wolves are gone, I was endangered. I felt myself howling in pain, straining my lungs. Why was I doing this at this time? As stamina was letting go of me.

Ahead I saw a light in the thicket of trees. I had never ventured this far from home. I could hear them catching up. I began howling as loud as I could for help but, all that came out was a weak moan. The light beyond had a pull on me suddenly. I felt myself running faster, wanting to satisfy my unknown need to be there. The light grew bigger and bigger.

I had to live, for mom, for dad, for my seven brothers and two sisters. For the pack, I had to live.

I couldn't go on any longer. If whatever was at the end of the forest was bad, I would give up and die at their hands, but never the Azraels. Something was attracting me, I had to be there. I came so close to the light and became blinded by it. I burst into the light with all my strength and sent myself tumbling to the ground. The light was refreshing as if the sun was out.

A huge house sat amid the field surrounded by mazes of trees. The wooden house blanketed by snow felt strangely warm. I howled one last time as I rolled to a stop by the porch. Twigs, rocks and sharp grass had pierced into my skin.

My bone began shifting under my skin and I shrunk into my human form, too weak to remain a wolf. I had been a wolf for so long, that I forgot how cold the snow was. My blood mixed with the snow as death became a reality for me. I shook with despair when I saw the Azraels burst through the dense forest. They halted and silenced their growls at the edge... to look… at me perhaps? To first finish me with their eyes, maybe, but they stood a fair distance away. As if they were waiting for me to get up and run again. Like they were enjoying this race. A strange pulling force came from behind me. I couldn't help but look back at the house. A group of people burst out of the house. Their instant transformation assured me that they were wolves. I curled myself into a ball as I felt myself losing myself. Sound left my ears and I heard nothing. Blood came off my back, my waist, wrists and face, this was it. I couldn't help but catch a scent. A sweet scent that made me feel alive one last time.

My eyes opened up. They burned. The pull grew more desperate, an urge to close the space between me and the magnet that had been pulling me.

A large wolf, the largest of them all, stood out from them all with icy blue eyes that penetrated me. He was the alpha; I could feel it. His pack was of various colours, orangish-browns, greys, and bronze and he was the only black one. His pack was unlike the Azraels who were all black. He growled at the Azraels. A sound more like a snap of thunder or a heart-stopping accident. He snapped his jaws and moved perilously toward them.

I should’ve been afraid, he was humongous but the pull I felt toward him eased my mind and heart. I could breathe again yet the pain in my body had not ceased. His blue eyes met mine again and never left. I gasped when my stomach wrung uncontrollably and my heartbeat increased in speed, his growl lowered and his angry icy look became like a still blue ocean. His eyes were tingling and so were mine. There was this unusual saccharine sensation in me. I felt a strong pull toward him. A pull that only needed me to get close to him because gravity wasn't strong enough to carry me. He was the magnet. I was suddenly hungry but not for food. A cavity opened inside of me and I had to put him inside of it. He broke our gaze and the hole gaped.

He approached the leader of the Azraels, Intiyago. Azraels were the most dangerous wolves in the world and for him to challenge them was brave or insane. The Azraels were our prime predators, they had been hunting us for decades. We were safe in the cove but someone must’ve told them where we were. They were cannibalistic creatures and Sun wolves a delicious drug of strength, to ensure their immortality or so the myth goes.

Intiyago approached Blue Eyes, away from his pack. Alpha to Alpha. The deathly sleep returned to me. Intiyago looked at me intently, then with hunger and desire. He didn't want to kill me, I read it in his eyes. Death was not my fate with him. That only made me want to die just to hurt him for all he had done. To make him realize that all the death was for nothing, and my soul would rest with my pack in the Sun. Everything darkened at the edges as it became gradually black. My eyes shut as an Azrael came running to me.

The wolves from the house jumped at him... to protect me? I could hear the sound of war, tearing flesh and gruesome growls, claws on fur.

What had I done to deserve such protection? I felt a warm liquid coming from my lips. I started coughing as I went deeper into the sleep. All the growling, all the violence was all so deafening. Everything went on mute.

At first, it scared me and saddened me but at some point, in the darkness, I wanted silence. I couldn't feel anything. Everything was dark and cold. It wasn't the cold of the snow but the chill of death, tugging at me kindly, calling me to give in.

What had I to live for? My mother was gone, my father was gone, my siblings, my pack... I was lost with nothing...

I remembered the pull to the blue-eyed alpha like it was an old beautiful core memory. I had no emotions to it yet but I knew it was significant.

My parents’ recent death was nothing to me now, I had lost all emotions. It was utter darkness and lack of feeling. All my senses were gone, no smell of blood or the sounds of battle.

Nothing just a deafening silence as I slipped away, allowing all reasons to live to die with me.