001

“Miss Sophie…” The doctor’s voice softened, but it only made the dread settle deeper into my bones as I waited for whatever he had to say.

The suspense killing me with every passing moment.

“Your bone marrow isn’t producing enough blood cells anymore. It’s getting worse by the day, and we have very limited options for treatment here, so—”

I raised a hand, cutting him off as I leaned forward, dragging in a shaky breath.

“You’re saying I can’t be treated? After everything?” My voice came out louder than I intended, trembling at the edges as tears slid down the corner of my eyes, “I'm supposed to just sit here, take all those pills you prescribed, and wait for death? Is that it?”

My heart slammed violently against my ribs, each beat louder than the last as I tried to force oxygen down my lungs.

No. No, that couldn’t be it.

My fingers trembled in my lap, my thoughts spiraling straight to my child.

There was no way! I couldn’t die. I refuse that!

What would happen to my son? My husband? They couldn’t live without me.

Right? I had seen how disoriented my husband has been these past few days, work weighing on him while he struggled to take care of our child.

Tears burned at the back of my eyes, but I bit down hard on my lip, forcing them back.

“Miss Sophie, I understand how you feel,” the doctor said carefully, his lips parting like he was choosing each word, not to say anything he shouldn't ,“But it’s not entirely incurable.”

Hope sparked, small, fragile, but there. My eyes lit and I grabbed the edges of the desk.

If it weren't for the constant ringing in my head, I probably would have stood up.

“If it’s curable, then what are we doing here?” I leaned forward, desperation slipping into my voice, “Start the treatment. I’m willing to pay anything.”

Anything. The past few days have been a nightmare.

The dizziness, the blackouts even as far as hallucinations.

And yesterday… shiver ran down my spine as I walked down memory lane.

I had fed my son mangoes, mangoes!, fucking mangoes, forgetting he was allergic.

I almost killed my own child. My stomach twisted violently.

I needed this to stop. I needed to get better.

“Our hospital lacks the facilities for the kind of treatment you need,” The doctor continued, his tone now firmer. “What you have is severe Aplastic Anemia. At this stage, you’ll require a bone marrow transplant and long-term specialized care. Say 6 months or more but even that—” My breath hitched, my mouth parting and closing for lack of words.

“A transplant?” I whispered.

“Yes.” He nodded. “And for that, you’ll need to travel. Countries like the United States, Switzerland or Germany have the facilities and specialists required. If you want, I can make a direct recommendation.” I paused, the room suddenly feeling too tight to breathe.

“Not to get your hopes high but if you stay…” He added gently, “we can only manage your symptoms. Even with the transplant…” He hesitated. “The chances are extremely low. Very few patients at this stage survive.”

Manage, not cure, not save.

Just… delay.

JUST BUY...TIME.

But I couldn't leave the country. What about my child and husband? What am I supposed to do? My husband was particularly grounded here, both in his work and everything.

I was being offered time and even that felt borrowed.

That was a major life decision that I wasn't sure I wanted them to undertake.

 And even cure wasn't guaranteed. The chances were extremely low.

I could die.

No, I was going to die.

I leaned back on the chair, my eyes darting back and forth.

Dear heavens, why does it have to me?  

 What if I died there while my husband and child waited for me to get treated and come home?

 I swallowed hard, grabbing my purse as I slowly stood to my feet.

“Uhh, doctor. I'll..I'll discuss this with my husband and let you know if I'll be needing that recommendation." He nodded as I took one deep breath in and began walking out of the ward.

My thoughts spiralled, my imagination ran wild and by the time I got home, the day was already far spent.

I was about to walk to the gate when my eyes caught sight of a mini cake stall. 

I stood rooted to the spot and simply stared at it, my mind blank, like it had finally given up trying to process everything.

Cake.

The word echoed faintly in my head, my fingers curled slightly around my purse.

This was stupid, ridiculous, even but who knows how long I have before I'm unable to eat cake again?

I could die at any—hell to that thought!

Better to deliver bad news with a sweet treat right?

If there was going to be a next time.

I walked down and got the cake and then headed back to the house. Once I got in, it was awfully quiet. Normally, Noah, my son was supposed to be running around the house, his voice literally the loudest while my husband? 

Well, at work, no doubt. 

The company was tasking and being the CEO was no easy feat.

Hayes Laurent wasn’t just busy, he was important. The kind of man people waited hours just to see.

And I had built my life around him.

Quietly, willingly because that was what love was supposed to look like.

 My mind ran back to that day, the first day we met when he saved me from being harassed by a local officer, he was perfect. A man of his status shouldn't have been concerned even if I was being killed but not him. He stepped in. 

He saved me. And I fell in love with him, right there and then!

Working as an assistant nurse while doubling as a florist just to offset mum's medical bills, another opportunity presented itself to me to meet him again when he was brought in as a casualty from a land slide.

I had stayed by his side at the hospital as an assistant, taking care of him. 

And seeing much of each other everyday, it didn't take long for him to propose to me. 

And now I was going to die? And leave him? 

“Noah, where are you? Mommy's home." I climbed up the stairs, stopping multiple times to catch my breath as my eyes spun.

Where is this child? 

"Noa—”

"Champ, how are you feeling?” I heard my husband, Hayes say softly, and my eyes snapped to the door.

"Much better, dad.” A small smile crept up my lips, why was Hayes back early today? I wrapped my hands around the knob and was about to push the door open.

"When is Auntie Olivia coming to see me again? I feel much better when she's around." I tilted my head to a side.

Who's Olivia? There was no Olivia we were familiar with.

“You just saw her yesterday, don't worry, I'll take you to see her soon once your mom is home, okay?" 

“Can't we go to see her before mom's home? You could just tell mum you're working late nights and dropped me off with child care like you always do? I don't want to see her. Auntie Olivia would never feed me something I'm allergic to." The world blurred between my eyes.

I stepped back, slamming my palm right on top of my mouth to stop myself from screaming.

"Your mom has just been clumsy these days. Anyways, we still have that vacation trip with Olivia right? You can spend as much time as you want, after all, then I think your mom would be occupied. She loves us, she'll understand.” I was biting down hard on my lips, till the taste of blood

filled it up.

My lips trembled, my whole body trembled and air…air seemed foreign to my lungs.

“I honestly wish Auntie Olivia was my mommy.”