Sin With Me, Sunshine

Sofia

"Honestly, Sofia," my mother sighed, dabbing at her temple with a lace-edged handkerchief. "You admit yourself she wears... trousers to church sometimes, she doesn’t stay in the hostel some night, definitely drinking and clubbing, she is not the kind of person you should be in the same room with, you have to stay somewhere else." She lamented passing a verdict on my new roommate for my final year.

My father adjusted his tie, his expression stern. "A young woman of God does not associate with such... influences. These worldly distractions will pull you away from the path." He leaned forward, "We worry about your soul, Sofia. Being in the same room with someone who lives like that... it taints you."

Taints me? I sat on the edge of the sofa, my hands clasped tightly in my lap, my knuckles white, storm raged inside of me, but on my face was a placid, obedient mask I had perfected over twenty-one years. "She's... she's not a bad person, Mama, Papa. She just... lives differently, I have stayed with her for two weeks now to know the kind of person she is." I said weakly knowing that my words held nothing.

"Differently?" My father's eyebrows shot up. "Different from the teachings of the Lord? There is only one path, Sofia. And your responsibility, as a Christian woman, is to walk it, not be led astray by those who deliberately choose darkness."

This was my life.

Every decision, every friendship, every thought felt scrutinized, weighed against a rigid, impossible standard my parents set for me while my brother, Raphael, two years older, was allowed his football games, his 'clean, wholesome' friends, his delayed plans for marriage because he was the 'provider.' For me, it was church groups, modesty standards that felt like a cage, and constant reminders of the 'worthy young men' in our congregation.

"She's just my roommate for one more year," I tried again, my voice barely a whisper.

"We think it would be best if you finished your studies from home. We can arrange for you to take classes online, or perhaps a smaller, more... God-fearing institution closer by. I was never in support of you going to that school anyway.” My mom said and panic clawed at my throat.

Finish at home? Be under their direct supervision every hour of every day? My carefully constructed facade of composure cracked. "No! I... I can't. I’m almost done with school and all my materials are at school. My notes, the library access for my thesis..." The lies tumbled out, desperately and clumsily. "I have a major presentation first thing tomorrow. I need to go back tonight to prepare."

They exchanged skeptical glances, their faces etched with suspicion. "A presentation?" My father narrowed his eyes. "Why weren't we informed of this 'major presentation' before?"

"It... it just came up," I stammered, hating the tremor in my voice. "It's crucial. Please, I have to go." I stood up, my legs trembling slightly. "I'm going back tonight. I will call you when I get there."

“We have to pray…” I cut my mom off.

“I will pray at the hostel, it’s late Mom and you know my car is not that good.” I quickly muttered and I kissed them goodbye, without waiting for anything more as I walked out the door. The moment I stepped out, I felt the familiar sting of tears burning behind my eyelids. Tears of frustration, of exhaustion, of a deep, aching loneliness even within my own family.

I slid into my old, reliable car, starting the engine. I drove, the streetlights blurring through my tears, I was tired of everything they had to say, I was tired of me having to obey them, I was tired of them never asking what I truly wanted. Why was it so hard just to... be? Why did everything have to be a test of my faith, a measure of my 'purity'?

I was so lost in my thoughts until a screeching sound of tires tore through my thoughts. My head snapped up, my heart leaping into my throat. As if that wasn’t okay, I heard gunshots that sounded terrifyingly close.

Instinct took over immediately, and I slammed on the brakes, the car skidding slightly. I fumbled with the door handle, scrambling out of the car, and I ran blindly towards the nearest building looking for shade, I should have stayed back.

The gunshot suddenly stopped and I peeped to look at what was happening and then a man tried to step out of a sleek black car, his body slumping against the doorframe. He was large, broad-shouldered, dressed in expensive-looking suit that was now stained with blood, he could hardly move as he was gulping, struggling for air.

My breath hitched. He looked... powerful, even in his injured state. A dangerous aura clung to him like a second skin. Every instinct screamed at me to turn and run, to get back in my car and drive away as fast as possible, to pretend I hadn't seen anything.

But I couldn’t as I saw the desperate struggle for life. My heart, trained for empathy and compassion, pulsed against my ribs. Hesitantly, I approached him cautiously.

"Are you... Are you okay?" What a stupid question. Of course, he wasn't okay.

He just stared at me, his breathing ragged.

"You are bleeding," I stated the obvious, fumbling with the simple cotton scarf I wore wrapped around my neck. "We need to stop the bleeding."

His eyes narrowed slightly, following my movements as I clumsily unwound the scarf. "Here," I knelt beside him, "Let me help." I folded the scarf, pressing it awkwardly against his side where the blood seemed heaviest. He flinched but didn't push me away. His skin felt hot and clammy beneath my fingers.

"It's... tight," I mumbled, trying to tie the ends of the scarf around him, but it wasn't long enough. "Just... hold it there."

He grunted, pressing his hand over the scarf where I had placed it.

"Should I call an ambulance? You need to be in the hospital.”

He shook his head, his eyes scanned my face, "help… help. Phone," he rasped, "Pocket."

I fumbled in his jacket pocket, pulling out a sleek, expensive-looking smartphone. The screen was cracked but lit up. "Who... who do I call?"

He closed his eyes for a second, his jaw clenching. "Vittorio," he bit out. "Just... Vittorio."

I scrolled through his contacts, my fingers clumsy, until I found the name. I tapped it, holding the phone to my ear, my heart hammering.

"Hello? The owner of this phone is injured, Can you come meet him fast?” I mumbled, unsure of what to say.

"Where are you?" the voice on the phone demanded in a way that caused a shiver to run down my spine.

I quickly gave the street name, while I looked back at the man who was watching me, that unreadable expression back in his eyes before the call ended.

I slowly stood up, needing distance. "I... I need to go. He should be here soon. I’m sorry I can’t stay here, I have to go to school.”

He didn't say anything, just kept watching me, his dark eyes following my every move. There was a possessiveness in his gaze that unnerved me. Feeling overwhelmed, guilty for leaving but terrified of staying, I backed away. "I hope... I hope you will be okay."

I turned and hurried back towards my car, not looking back for once.