10: A Part Of Me

Last night was a miracle.

While my mum and sister stayed up late in the night to gossip about the wedding, I did with them just to keep my eyes on him. 

My hand was on the emergency dial. 

I was both freaked out and torn apart… I really wanted to see him, maybe sort things out and strike a bargain. 

‘I still do.’

As if he knew of the extra presence in my house, he stayed far across the street, legs crossed at the knee, hands dipped in his pockets... he didn't look excited. 

By the time the two ladies crashed out like dead twigs on a log, he was far gone. 

“Honey, hurry up. We’d need to catch the first train or be late.” 

My mother calls after me. 

It feels like an old lady getting her kids ready for school runs. While I miss her, I don’t have the experience.

“And we need to fix you a perfect dress in two days… I don’t know what to do with my hair…” Ella continues to lament. “Argh!!!”

“Hey, hey…” I hear my mum comfort her. The following words are whispers and I’m not so eager to listen.

Done dressing up in a simple dress, I start for my bedroom door and stop. His fine designer jacket stares at me as if daring for me to walk away. 

That enchanting scent pulls me in like a magnet. It's still as strong as the first day, and it brings the good memories to mind as if he's right here, arms around me in a tender hug.

‘It’s going to be a long trip… just take me.’ 

I shake my head, fighting the temptation. 

“Tessa!” My mum yells out, having perfect timing for everything. 

I don’t think as I hurry to join them with my small packed box. They look smartly dressed while I’m the pure definition of just tag along, darling. 

“Alright… I’m proud of you, honey.” My mum rubs my chin as if I’m a toddler. “Let’s go.”

She walks out, then Ella follows. 

I close the windows and curtains, and reach for my phone on the table…

My eyes remain on the small object for a moment. 

‘It’s bugged, Tessa.’ That brutal voice returns. 

Of course. It explains why he trails me and does some silly things I'm still unable to explain. 

Only a psycho would do that. 

My heart clenches. 

If he doesn’t see me in a week, things may just die out naturally. I jump to a hasty conclusion, pull out my sim, and set it on the table. 

“Good Lord. Tessa!”

In haste, I slip the empty phone into my pocket and join them outside. We hit the road once the doors are fully locked. 

The sun has fully risen above the horizon, casting a fine yellow hue on the earth and greens. The day looks promising except that I'm going home.

Barely two hours into the journey, my mum and sister are now fast asleep. My eyes remain wide open, not sure what I’m searching for. 

A whoosh of cold breeze slams me hard, leaving me in the thick fur of goosebumps. I rub my bare skin to soothe myself. If only I had taken a jacket.

His thoughts return.

What would I be doing if I’m not being smuggled back home like contraband? 

… probably having a goodbye fuck… or a fight fuck… or the best time of my life.

Either way, I’d be warm.

I sigh and plug in my earphones, slowly letting my worries drown with my playlist. 

*** ***

The train stops at the final station.

We get down and board a bus for Bradbury, Los Angeles.  

It’s another long ride back home, approximately three more hours. Evening is fast approaching. 

“Are you okay, honey?” My mum leans in and rubs my shoulder. 

“Hmm-hmm.” I give a fake smile which she doesn’t even see before sleeping off. 

Great. 

Ella, on the other hand, is typing away on her phone and chatting with the girls on her bridal train. She seems super stressed. Poor lamb.

When she diverts to a video call with her groom, her exhaustion vanishes. She’s all smiley and bubbly and smooshie. 

I was once there…

A teardrop runs down my cheek without warning. 

I hastily look away and face the window just so I don’t create a scene.

And, I don’t want to jinx her day.

‘The only tears you're permitted to shed is when I spoil you silly.’

My obsessed lover’s words wrap me in a tight hug. I find myself smiling. He knows what to say in every fucking situation. And god! He also knows what to do! 

I press my lips and smile. 

Frankly, I’ll miss him.

I slip back in my seat and slowly drift asleep.

*** *** 

‘Home sweet home.’

When my eyes flash open, we’re home… 

A cocoon of bliss for them. But for me, it’s a bunch of bitter memories and the start of my wrecked life. 

Who cares?