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Feeling Lost

Author: Billiejo Priestley
last update Last Updated: 2025-05-22 17:16:32

Jaxon POV

I can’t sit in that house any longer. Not with the silence pressing in on me like a weight I can’t shift. Erin still hasn’t answered my messages. Still hasn’t bothered to check if I’m alright. It’s like I’ve stopped existing unless she needs something from me, and I’m sick of it.

I book a taxi before I can talk myself out of it. Pull on a jacket and walk out the front door without looking back. My leg aches with every step, but the pain feels better than sitting around doing nothing.

Sliding into the back seat, I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. Maybe I’m losing it, but something in my gut won’t settle. She left the house way too early this morning. Before training hours even started. That’s not normal for her.

By the time the taxi pulls up in front of the rink, I’m already pulling my wallet out and getting the hell out of the car. The cold hits immediately, sharp and biting, but I ignore it. My focus is locked on the building in front of me.

Inside,
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  • Slapshot Awakening   Getting His Revenge

    Ryker POVI leave a message for Erin, asking her to meet me at the bar. I didn’t speak to Quinn, so I don’t know what was said when they attacked Jaxon, but my name was mentioned. That makes me think this isn’t all on Jaxon.They know getting to me or hurting me won’t be easy. I grew up doing martial arts, boxing, and other things. Everyone knows that outside of hockey, I did all that too. Because of that, they won’t come after me. Instead, they went for Jaxon because it was easier. That makes them all cowards.The moment I walk into the bar, it goes quiet. I don’t pay attention. I sit with Quinn and a few of the team.“How is he?” Quinn waits, and I shrug.“Being stubborn. Explain what was said. When they asked Jaxon he said nothing.”Quinn’s eyes widen. He sits and explains what was said, and the more he talks, the more it feels like the attack was for me just as much as it was for Jaxon.Quinn explains that he spoke to the police and told them everything. I know nothing will come f

  • Slapshot Awakening   Warning Him.

    Jaxon POVThe knock on the door is soft, but it feels like a punch to the chest. Ryker straightens beside me, and I already know what’s coming. The nurse steps in with a small, hesitant smile.“There are two detectives here to ask a few questions. Only if you’re up for it.”I freeze. My throat locks. Ryker doesn’t say a word, he knows how I feel about this. But the nurse waits, and I can feel both their eyes on me. The weight of the world pressing down.I nod. Not because I’m ready. Just because it’s easier than saying no out loud.Two men step in, dressed casually, but everything about them feels official. Sharp eyes. Quiet authority. One has a notepad in hand.“Jaxon,” the taller one says, his tone calm, measured. “I’m Detective Farrow, this is Detective Ellis. We understand you were the victim of an attack tonight.”Victim.That word makes me want to crawl out of my skin.Ryker shifts beside me, his hand still close, just enough to let me know I’m not alone.“Can you tell us what h

  • Slapshot Awakening   Hurting

    Jaxon POVI wake up in pain, more pain than I crashed my bike somehow. My eyes struggle to open, and I give up trying to open them fully. My hands move, as I go to push myself up but someones hand touches my shoulder and stops me."Don't move," Ryker whispers and I turn to see him beside me. My vision is blurry and I can barely see him."What happened?" I go to move again and he stops me."You can't remember?" His eyes widen."I remember everyone coming in, and getting hit, I remember you but nothing after." All I remember is him looking down at me."You passed out, so you didn't miss much. A trip to the hospital in ambulance, a few tests, nothing major." Sighing, he rubs his face. "I'm sorry.""This isn't your fault." It's on me, I shouldn't have let anything happen, or I should have ended things with Erin."Look, you need to know before the police come. Erin knew, she was there when Lauren, Dan and Paul spoke about it. So, if you want to cut out the hassle of them trying to figure i

  • Slapshot Awakening   Her Reasons

    Ryker POVWhen we get there, I’m out of the car before Quinn even puts it in park. I push through the emergency room doors, ignoring the people waiting, the low hum of voices, the beeping machines and announcements over the intercom. I find the nurses’ desk and lean in.“Jaxon,” I say. My voice comes out hoarse. “He was just brought in.”The nurse looks up, typing quickly before nodding. “He’s in trauma one. The doctors are with him now.”“Can I see him?”She shakes her head. “Not yet. He’s still being assessed. You’ll have to wait.”I want to scream. Instead, I step back and run a hand down my face. Quinn catches up and pulls me into the waiting area.We sit. Time blurs. At some point, I’m handed a cup of bad coffee I don’t drink. A few more of the team show up, unsure of what to say. I don’t talk to them. I can’t. My mind is locked on one thing, on him.It's hit the press already, footage has gone out of the attack, but from their whispers, there are no leads. No one knows who it wa

  • Slapshot Awakening   His Pain

    Ryker POVWhat the fuck happened? Jaxon is passed out on the floor, his face barely recognizable. Blood is smeared across his cheek, swelling already darkening one of his eyes, and his lip is split so badly it looks like it was torn open.This is all my fault. If I hadn’t made a move on him, if I had just kept my feelings buried like I always planned to, none of this would have happened. He would still be with Erin, miserable maybe, treated like shit, but safe. Now he’s here, broken and bruised because of me. Because of what we did. Because I couldn’t keep my distance.It has to be the team we played together, the one we beat last night. There’s no other explanation that makes sense. They were quiet during the game, too quiet, like they were saving it for something else. It wasn’t just a grudge. It was personal.“He’s fine,” Quinn says, crouched beside me, his voice low but steady.My eyes snap to him. “Does that look fucking fine to you?”“I mean he’s breathing,” Quinn says quickly,

  • Slapshot Awakening   Their Revenge

    Jaxon POVSitting with Quinn, the locker room falls quiet. He’s stood by his locker, taking out his phone.“Have you spoken to anyone yet? On your side, figure skating?”“No, my phone is muted. I’m avoiding it all.” I know that’s a bad thing. I should be focused, I should be trying to clean up this mess, but right now, it won’t help. I need time to figure out who the hell I am and what I want.Speaking with the press won’t go well. I don’t know the answers. I don’t know anything. Ryker was already gay. That won’t be a topic for him and the reporters. That’s going to be the number one thing for me, and I don’t know.“Why not?” He sits on a bench and looks across at me.“Because what do I say?”He laughs. “The truth. Isn’t that what you should say?”“What’s the truth, Quinn? The first thing they are going to ask is if I’m gay and into men. I don’t even know, because until now, until Ryker, I’ve never been interested in men. The reporters won’t take that answer. They want a simple yes or

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