“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
- Matthew 11:28-30
*****
I sat bolt-upright in bed, my body zinging with power, wheezing, my lungs inflating like I’d been deprived of air. The room spun so that I couldn’t see and I gripped my head in my hands because my brain suddenly felt too big for my skull.
I fell back onto the pillows again, gasping, writhing, aware of eyes on me, but the pain was consuming—and breathtaking as I felt the flows work
~ CASIMIR ~God, I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. But I nodded.“I know,” I rasped, licking my lips and plowing on before she lost her hope. “And I’m telling you, if I could go back and only change one thing, it would be that. I’m sorry, Jesse. I am so fucking sorry.”“I know,” she said, but there was no relief in her. No softness. She said it like it barely mattered.“No, I don’t think you do,” I said, struggling to push myself up to sit again—but I managed it. As the effects of the power took hold, I was growing stronger, thank God. “Jesse… I’ve seen the truth. About myself. About life. About God. I’ve seen that… that I was wrong. And I’m going to d
~ JESSE ~“…I don’t want you to feel scared, beautiful. I want you to feel safe. The way you make me feel safe.”My lip trembled. “I want that too.”“I know. And I know it’s up to me to make that real for you. Just… give me a chance. Please, Jesse. Please.”Cazz stared at me with such earnestness in his eyes—and they were blazing. But this time not with heat or anger, but with a plea.The bond throbbed in my chest, and I bit my lip as my body propelled me towards him, one wobbly step at a time. And when I reached his side, he reached for my hand and pulled me up onto the bed with him, immediately folding me into his arms
~ JESSE ~Cazz wasn’t supposed to be up and moving, but within an hour, he’d already linked with Maya, insisting that she come examine me, and when she was close, he got out of the bed—more slowly than he usually would—and made me lay down so she could reach me easily.“Cazz, you’re supposed to be resting!”“So are you!” he said pointedly.“Yes, but I wasn’t shot.”“And healed,” he added.“You almost died.”That stopped him. He was on his way to the door to let Maya in, because he was insisting that no one else come near us yet, a
~ JESSE ~Cazz glanced towards the door, shooting a dark look that way, then turned back to me. I frowned a question at him, but he was looking at Maya.“The power… is it unsafe for her to use?”“Not exactly,” Maya said grimly. “Clearly they’ve both survived whatever that was. But it does better explain why it came on so quickly for her, and grew so strong so fast. She needs training to control it. The hormones and her tiredness will make it more difficult to control even at the best of times. But with her lack of experience and the stress of… recent events,” she said the words with a twist of distaste on her lips, “I imagine it will be even more erratic. She needs help, Cazz. Training.”
~ JESSE ~I stared at Cazz, half-thrilled, half-nervous. “Will you stay laying with me?” I asked suspiciously.He huffed. “Yes… but if you don’t mind, I’ll shift. My wolf form heals more quickly, so any rest in that body will be worth twice what it would be as a human.”I felt myself tense, felt my eyes widen.All this time, and I’d never actually seen him fully in his wolf—not when I could pay attention.I swallowed hard. “I… okay.”His expression grew concerned. “Does my wolf frighten you?”
~ CASIMIR ~As Jesse slid slowly into sleep, her exhaustion and tension seeping out of her, I took a very few minutes to simply enjoy the knowledge that our love had been a success, that we had truly built something together. A family. God, what a thought—there was a soul already alive that was made of me and her.As I thought of how close I’d come to breaching that bond—and it occurred to me what the likely fate of our child would have been if I’d done that—I had to breathe through the panic and let myself sink into the sensation of her arms around me and her weight leaning against me. Her trust in sleeping with my wolf, in clinging to me as she rested… It was a balm, and one that made the bond glow. But that connection between us was still thin. Present. Not broken, thank God. But thin. And… da
~ CASIMIR ~I rolled my eyes, but didn’t reply immediately, I was turning the whole situation over in my mind, examining it.I deeply appreciated the skill of what Jesse did—in a way no one but Maya would be able to—by keeping her compulsion in such a narrow field, and yet so devastatingly effectively. It was extremely clever of her. But it had its weaknesses too. Not that she’d hear any recrimination from me—I’d made my own mistakes. And I had been using the power for decades.It had been one helluva weak. It was only by God’s grace that neither of us had killed ourselves or each other.But that thought left me with such a pang, I turned away from it and back to the packs, and how we could sift our way through these idiots.
~ CASIMIR ~I sat there, stewing in an entire life’s worth of political machinations, education, and hierarchical jousting.Even my father had always agreed that the culture came from the top. I’d prided myself when I removed him by immediately taking steps to lower the sense of threat and intimidation that wolves felt from the throne.But my perspective had been off.Being an improvement on my father hadn’t killed the root of the weed that plagued us. It had only driven it underground. And now we were finally seeing those green shoots and leaves, full of poison and malice.And I’d done nothing to stop that. If anything, I’d worked in the shadows more. My father had never hidden his compulsion