I stared at Cazz, half-thrilled, half-nervous. “Will you stay laying with me?” I asked suspiciously.
He huffed. “Yes… but if you don’t mind, I’ll shift. My wolf form heals more quickly, so any rest in that body will be worth twice what it would be as a human.”
I felt myself tense, felt my eyes widen.
All this time, and I’d never actually seen him fully in his wolf—not when I could pay attention.
I swallowed hard. “I… okay.”
His expression grew concerned. “Does my wolf frighten you?”
<~ CASIMIR ~As Jesse slid slowly into sleep, her exhaustion and tension seeping out of her, I took a very few minutes to simply enjoy the knowledge that our love had been a success, that we had truly built something together. A family. God, what a thought—there was a soul already alive that was made of me and her.As I thought of how close I’d come to breaching that bond—and it occurred to me what the likely fate of our child would have been if I’d done that—I had to breathe through the panic and let myself sink into the sensation of her arms around me and her weight leaning against me. Her trust in sleeping with my wolf, in clinging to me as she rested… It was a balm, and one that made the bond glow. But that connection between us was still thin. Present. Not broken, thank God. But thin. And… da
~ CASIMIR ~I rolled my eyes, but didn’t reply immediately, I was turning the whole situation over in my mind, examining it.I deeply appreciated the skill of what Jesse did—in a way no one but Maya would be able to—by keeping her compulsion in such a narrow field, and yet so devastatingly effectively. It was extremely clever of her. But it had its weaknesses too. Not that she’d hear any recrimination from me—I’d made my own mistakes. And I had been using the power for decades.It had been one helluva weak. It was only by God’s grace that neither of us had killed ourselves or each other.But that thought left me with such a pang, I turned away from it and back to the packs, and how we could sift our way through these idiots.
~ CASIMIR ~I sat there, stewing in an entire life’s worth of political machinations, education, and hierarchical jousting.Even my father had always agreed that the culture came from the top. I’d prided myself when I removed him by immediately taking steps to lower the sense of threat and intimidation that wolves felt from the throne.But my perspective had been off.Being an improvement on my father hadn’t killed the root of the weed that plagued us. It had only driven it underground. And now we were finally seeing those green shoots and leaves, full of poison and malice.And I’d done nothing to stop that. If anything, I’d worked in the shadows more. My father had never hidden his compulsion
~ JESSE ~My heart pounded painfully.It had been so wonderful waking up in his arms. And even though that niggling rush of nerves was still there, I’d been eager to come back to bed and be held by him.But walking back into the room to see him staring daggers and Rake, all that fear and agitation—and rage—rushed to the surface.I heard myself blurting out the truth of what I’d done to Rake, then got angry at myself for feeling defensive when it wasn’t my fault. And then Cazz was stunned and that felt good, but then he got mad and the moment his face went dark and he rais
~ JESSE ~He licked his lips and his forehead pressed into lines. “Jesse,” he breathed. “God, I’m so sorry, but it wasn’t what you think—”God, I wanted to slap him!“What part of that wasn’t what I think, Cazz?!” I shoved the words at him through gritted teeth, dashing away the tears that wouldn’t leave me alone. “What part of that wasn’t a fucking knife to my heart?”“The part where I made her leave because even though I thought you were with Rake, I couldn’t stop loving you. And when I came…&rdquo
~ CASIMIR ~I was trembling when she fell into my arms, still shaking when I picked her up and carried her to the bed so carefully, afraid she might actually shatter in my arms. When I got her there, I murmured to her to just rest and breathe. And when she sank into the bed, her head on the pillow, drawing her knees up to her chest, I just curled myself around her—around both of them, I reminded myself.And even though everything was awful, and I was sick with the pain I’d put her through, it was such a blinding relief that she hadn’t run, that she was still here and letting me touch her.I sent a hurried prayer up to God that all these
~ CASIMIR ~There was silence in the link for a moment. Then Rake’s voice came through just a little bit hushed, ‘Wow, okay. Thanks.’‘I mean it.’‘I can tell.’‘But?’ I asked with my teeth gritted.‘But…’ He hesitated for a minute, then sighed. ‘Do you still want me to be the challenger? Or is that just going to make this worse?’‘No. I… I need to hear what you
~ JESSE ~Over the day that followed that confrontation with Cazz I completely lost track of time. We spent most of that day in bed sleeping and healing. Cazz had conversations with different wolves through the link while I was sleeping, but allowed no one but Maya into the room. Even the servants bringing us food had to stay outside. He’d go to the door to get the tray and warn them all to stay away.He did let Maya in to check me every few hours, which was ridiculous when he was the one who’d been shot. At some point, I refused to let her examine me again until he was getting examined by her too.Interesting that Maya’s visits grew further apart after that.Cazz and