Chapter 7

Luca’s Pov

I ran a hand over the rough stubble on my jaw. What the hell was that?

I stood there, long after the sound of Ava’s door clicking shut had faded, tasting the of sweetness lips on my mouth. 

I came to this goddamn mountain seeking silence. Peace. A chance to hit the reset button after my suspension.

Two weeks of mandatory rest, isolation, and, according to the official statement, “reflection on conduct unbecoming of a team captain.”

Because of a stupid, unnecessary brawl where I let someone get under my skin.

Now I had a woman tucked into my room who smelled like trouble and sweatness, a woman whose lips had just annihilated every self-imposed boundary I build over the last six years.

I walked to the living room window, pulling back the heavy curtain. The snow was still coming down hard with no promise of stopping soon.

I let my mind go back to Clara, as it always did when I needed to find my way. L She was the one. The only one. The deep, hot response Ava had given me moments ago was a betrayal of that memory, and I hated myself for allowing it.

The smell of brewing coffee and bacon woke Leon up in the morning. He made his way to me rubbing his eyes with his fists, already halfway into his tiny, superhero-themed snowsuit.

l haven't been there for him as much of let because of the NHL and l hate it because l want to be there for every milestone but everytime l play with him watching he is always the happiest.

“Papa, is Christmas here yet?” he mumbled trying to hop onto the kitchen stool.

“Almost, buddy. Two more sleeps,” I said, flipping the bacon. 

“Good morning,” l heard Ava say softly from the doorway but I didn’t turn immediately. I finished plating Leon’s eggs first. “Morning,” I managed, keeping my tone deliberately flat.

She was wearing the same oversized t-shirt and just like she in the early morning she wasn't wearing pants, It showed of her long legs and she had pulled her hair into a messy knot, and she wasn't wearing any makeup but she was still breathtaking.

She looked exactly like the kind of beautiful disaster I had no business touching.

“Sleep alright?” I asked, finally turning.

“Fine, thank you. You?” Her eyes flickered up to mine probably expecting something but she made it clear that there were boundaries not to cross.

“Like a rock,” I lied back smoothly.

The air thickened with unsaid things but Leon who was oblivious, broke the tension.

“Look, Miss Ava. Snow everywhere ” 

Ava came forward, easing into the space beside the counter. She smiled at Leon, a genuine smile that did things to the pit of my stomach I didn’t appreciate. 

The spoiled princess may just not be so bad but that doesn’t make her good for us..

“That’s a magnificent Leon. Have you ever played in the snow”

“No but daddy says we will..”

“We absolutely will,” I promised him. “After we get a few more logs from the shed.”

Ava poured herself coffee, and our hands nearly collided near the sugar bowl. I pulled mine back instantly not to avoid her but because he reaction to my touch makes this tension between us worse.

“You’re a good dad, Luca,” she said quietly.

“I try,” I replied because maybe to someone watching from a distance l am but l feel like l'm failing my son recently.

“You mentioned being a hockey player last night, l'm guessing you don't live here permanently” she inquired gently.

I shrugged, cutting a piece of bacon. “Yes Boston." l'm guessing she doesn't like hockey because l've been the leading Goalie for the Boston Bruins since last season.

Leon piped up, his mouth full of eggs. “Are we going to decorate the tree today? The big one with the shiny ball?”

“We are,” I confirmed. I kept a box of ornaments specific to this cabin, ones that had sentimental value.

“Is mommy happy because we came to her favorite place.”

The cabin went silent again, but this time it wasn’t strained; it was loaded. I watched Ava freeze, her eyes focused intently on my reaction.

I reached for Leon, pulling him onto my lap. He was getting too big for this, but I needed the physical comfort of his weight.

“Of course she is. l always tell you how much she loved this place and this time you're here. So why wouldn't she be happy." l assured him.

I looked at Ava. The pity I expected wasn’t there. Instead, there was a kind of solemn understanding, a deep sorrow that didn't feel directed at me, l guess she has also lost somebody.

Clara loved this place, loved Christmas, loved everything about making things bright. She was always the fearless one. The one who told me to take the jump, to go for the big league. She was my whole world, my first love.

l lost my love for Christmas after her death but for the past two years l've only been doing it for Leon but this is the first time l've brought him here.

Leon snuggled closer. He asked the same question every year breaking the walls l've built on my heart. “Is she an angel?”

“She is our angel, buddy. She was the bravest woman I ever met. She gave me you,” I confessed holding him tighter. “And then she had to go.” l said. 

“She’s gone, but she’s not gone from our hearts” I continued, primarily for Ava’s benefit, letting her see the commitment I still carried. 

We made a mistake that should never happen again. l don’t mind f*****g because l do it without strings attached and explanations but with her everything is different.

Chapter 8

1018 Words

Ava’s Pov

My chest felt heavy, a dull ache spreading through my heart because of Luca's words, "Clara is our angel, gone but not gone from our hearts," had settled on me like a new layer of snow, heavy, cold, and final. 

I pushed away from the breakfast table, the leftover eggs on my plate suddenly tasting like ash. Fool. That's what I was. 

How could l be hurting for someone l just met when my fiance of years just cheated on me.

Yes l felt betrayed by Gary but deep down I know it's because he humiliated me by Sleeping With My Best Friend but is it because I love him? I don't think so. 

He was taken by a ghost. And me? I was just a distraction. A temporary roommate. The rejection felt sharp and maybe that's what hurt. After all l'm a spoiled princess who has always got what she wanted.

But it also reinforced what I already knew, falling for someone is dangerous. It always, always ends in pain. I needed to remember that before making yet another mistake that l'm not sure I'll be able to take like the one l'm already living in.

I plunged my hands into the warm, soapy water, scrubbing the pan that was already perfectly clean. Anything to avoid looking at him. Anything to avoid the silence that hung between us.

I moved from the sink to the small table, wiping crumbs that weren't there. I felt like an intruder now. This was their haven, their space to remember her. And I had no business being here.

Just when I thought the silence and tension would swallow us whole, a small voice broke through. "Auntie Ava!"

I flinched, l was 'auntie'. Here l was trying to detach but this little boy was making it very hard for me.

He stood by my side looking qt me expectantly asking me to go out into the snow with him.

I tried using the it's too cold excuse but he just wanted to be there at least for a couple of minutes and it reminded me of myself begging my father for that kind of attention but being denied at every turn.

Life has taught me that hurt people hurt people and I don't want that for this sweet innocent looking boy, he deserves a proper childhood filled with great memories and happiness and if I can provide him with 10 minutes of that then why not.

"Okay, Leon," I said, my voice coming out a little softer than I expected. "Let's get you ready for the snow."

I was still stiff, my movements careful. But as I pulled on his little snow pants, then his thick jacket, he giggled. I found myself genuinely laughing as I struggled with a stubborn zipper, then helped him find the right gloves for his little hands. His excitement was catching.

Outside, the snow was fresh and sparkling. We started rolling the first snowball, fat and heavy. Leon shrieked with delight when I pretended to struggle, letting him push it. He was a whirlwind of energy, stamping his little boots, chasing snowflakes. And I was right there with him. My own shoulders, usually so tight, began to relax. I felt a real smile stretch across my face, not the polite one I used for clients and my 'friends and family', but a wide, genuine one.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Luca watching. He was standing by the window, a cup of coffee in his hand. His face, usually so closed off when he looked at me, held a flicker of surprise. 

I don't blame him for looking at me like he doesn't believe I'm doing this because I don't believe it either.

l felt a warmth and  lightness in me that I rarely let anyone see and  joy that had been buried so deep, I almost forgot it existed was.

A few minutes later, I heard the crunch of snow behind us. Luca had joined us. He didn't say much at first, just stood a little distance away, leaning against the porch. Meanwhile Leon was trying to make a snowball for the snowman's head, but it kept falling apart.

"It's okay, buddy," I said, putting my gloved hand over his. "Try pressing it really hard first, like this. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze!"

He tried again, his brow furrowed in concentration. And when it finally held he cheered making us both laugh. I watched him, then reached out to gently pull his hat down over his ears, making sure it was snug. My own hands were freezing under the borrowed gloves butt I didn't care. 

I felt Luca's eyes on me. When I glanced his way, he was no longer leaning. He was watching me with a strange look on his face. A pang of something I couldn't quite name twisted in my gut. It was a feeling that fought against the firm decision he'd made earlier, the one that said I was a mistake.

Even with the snow fun and Leon's happy shouts, the tension was still there. It was like a thin, invisible rope connecting Luca and me, pulled tight. I was laughing, making silly faces at Leon, trying to get him to put a carrot nose on our snowman's head. He was giggling, pointing.

I happened to look up, and my eyes met Luca’s. He had been watching me again, his gaze intense. My laugh died in my throat. Heat rushed to my cheeks, a blush I couldn't control. I quickly looked away, pretending to be very interested in straightening the snowman's scarf. The air around us crackled, thick with everything that wasn't being said. The kiss. His words about his late wife. My own hurt. It was all still there, just beneath the surface of the happy snow day.

Whatever is between us is getting dangerous with every look but l had to  reinforce my own defenses, to rebuild the walls before it was too late. I was here to be strong, not to fall for another impossible dream.