Chapter 19

Rilla’s POV

"Are you done in there, or did you fall in?" Royal called through the wood of the door.

I didn't answer. I just sat on the closed toilet seat and let out a long, shaky breath. The silence of the bathroom was the first bit of peace I had felt since they caught me. Royal was gone from the immediate space, and for a second, I could actually think.

Why was he acting like this? The Royal I knew from years ago was a nightmare. He spent every waking hour making my life miserable. To him, I was just a toy he used to kill time when he was bored. Now he was carrying me around and acting like he cared if I breathed. It had to be a trick. He probably just wanted to get me healthy enough so he and his brothers could take turns using me. That was the only thing that made sense. They didn't see a person when they looked at me. They saw an object that needed to be repaired before it was put back to work.

I stood up and started opening drawers. I moved quietly, checking under the sink and behind the towels. I needed something sharp. Something final. Every wolf I ever knew lived in fear of silver. It was the one thing that could actually end it for us. Philip was the Alpha, so he had to have silver somewhere in this house. He probably had a collection of blades or a drawer full of silver-tipped bullets. I just had to find where he hid the key to his office or his bedroom.

I forced myself to use the toilet, my body finally demanding relief after days of tension. I stayed there for a long time afterward. I wasn't ready to go back out and face them. The bathroom was a tiny, tiled sanctuary where no one was touching me.

Eventually, I dragged myself to the sink. I hadn't looked at a mirror in years. The places where the traffickers kept me didn't have mirrors. There was no point in looking at yourself when your life was just a loop of pain. My days were a blur of being used, trying to scrub the filth off my skin, and eating whatever garbage they threw on the floor.

The only time the cycle broke was when the babies came. They gave me a week to recover before the men started coming back into my room. Being pregnant didn't stop them. Some of them liked it more. I remembered screaming and begging, promising I would do anything they asked as long as they didn't kick me or hurt the life inside. I would have been their slave forever if it meant my children stayed safe.

I looked up and caught my reflection. I gasped and pulled back.

The woman in the glass was a total stranger. She looked like a corpse that had decided to start walking. Her skin was so pale it looked like wet paper. Her cheeks were deep hollows, and her eyes were surrounded by heavy, purple bruises of exhaustion. I could see the sharp outline of every bone in her face. I was just a shell held together by spite.

I remembered being pretty once. I only cared about it because of him. He used to tell me I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I believed him back then. I spent so much time on my hair and my clothes just to see that look in his eyes. I wanted to be someone he could be proud to stand next to.

Now, he looked at me like I was a pile of trash on the side of the road. I hated him for it. I hated him for a lot of things, but the way he looked at me still felt like a knife in the gut.

I wasn't that girl anymore. I wasn't soft. I wasn't innocent. I knew what was under my shirt without looking. My body was a map of scars, each one a memory of a time I was broken and stitched back together. The men who sold me made sure to keep my face clean, though. A scarred face dropped the price. They treated me like a car they wanted to resell, making sure the exterior looked good while the engine was rotting away.

I splashed freezing water on my face. The cold helped clear the fog in my head. I couldn't stay in here forever. I unlocked the door and stepped back into the bedroom.

Royal was standing by a small table. He spun around the second the latch clicked. I didn't look at him. I kept my eyes on the floor and tried to walk toward the bed, but my legs felt like lead.

Before I could get halfway, Royal moved. He swept me up into his arms again.

"Put me down," I snapped. My voice sounded thin and raspy.

"I am taking you to the bed," Royal said. "Your feet are a mess."

I looked down. He had wrapped them in clean white bandages while I was out of it. I remembered running through the woods, the sharp rocks and thorns tearing at my soles, but I hadn't felt a thing at the time. The fear had been louder than the pain. Now that he mentioned it, they started to throb with every heartbeat.

He laid me on the mattress. He didn't reach for the handcuffs this time, which surprised me. He just walked back to the table and picked up a wooden tray. He brought it over and set it on the nightstand. It had a glass of water and a bowl of something that smelled like chicken broth.

"Drink the water. Then eat the food," he ordered.

"I am not hungry," I said. I stared at the wall. I just wanted him to leave. Looking at him made all the old memories of his bullying bubble up. I could still hear his laugh from when we were kids, mocking me in front of everyone.

"You don't have a choice," Royal said. His voice was hard now. "You know why we brought you back here. You need to be strong for that."

I knew it. The kindness was just a mask. He wanted me healthy so I could fulfill whatever sick purpose they had for me. He wanted a better toy.

"I said I don't want it," I muttered. Part of me wondered if he would try to force-feed me. I almost hoped he would. Maybe I would choke. It would be a quicker way out than searching for silver.

Royal sat on the edge of the bed, his shadow falling over me. "We ran into Riley yesterday. Surely you haven't forgotten him."

I frowned, looking at him for the first time. The name didn't ring a bell.

"He remembers you very well," Royal continued. He watched my face closely, looking for a reaction. "He actually had the nerve to ask us to share you. He wanted to take you back to his place so he and his brothers could have a turn. We told him no."

I stared at him, completely lost. "Who is Riley?"

Royal’s face turned into a mask of anger. A mean, mocking smile touched his lips. "Are you really going to play that game? Are you upset that we didn't give you back to him? I bet you miss him."

"I don't know who that is," I said. I wasn't lying. The name meant nothing to me.

Royal leaned in closer, his eyes dark with distrust. "You are still a great actress. You haven't changed at all, have you?"