Chapter 20

Rilla’s POV

"Don't forget who we are dealing with," Royal said. His voice had a new edge to it, sharp enough to cut. "He is the Alpha of the Epsilon Pack now."

The name Epsilon sounded familiar. It was like a word from a dream I couldn't quite place. I knew they were the rivals of my old home, the Iron-Vail Pack, but the details were a blur. I didn't know the man he was talking about. I had no memory of ever meeting an Alpha from that side.

Royal didn't let the silence last. "We killed his brother, Rowen. He was your lover, wasn't he? After we took Rowen out, Riley stepped up to lead."

"Rowen?" I repeated the name. It felt heavy and cold. A dull throb started behind my eyes as I tried to pull something out of the fog in my mind.

Royal let out a harsh, mocking laugh. "Are you still playing this game? You were all over him back then. Don't tell me you forgot the man you slept with. How many of them were there, Rilla? How many men did you crawl to while you were playing the innocent girl for us?"

The words felt like a physical blow.

Then, a memory flickered. I remembered a man. He hadn't been a lover. He was a nightmare. He had forced me into something disgusting by holding a knife to Rowena's throat. He told me he would kill her if I didn't do exactly what he wanted. I never knew his name. I never knew where he came from. Only Rowena and Rosamund knew what really happened that day.

So that man was from Epsilon.

Royal leaned in, watching my face for any crack in the mask. "It looks like you finally remember. Your precious boyfriend. Too bad for you, we ended him. Do you want to hear the details of how he died?"

"He wasn't my lover," I said. My voice was a whisper, thick with a mix of old shame and fresh terror. Even now, the memory of that day made my skin crawl. I could still feel the humiliation of being trapped and used.

Royal's lip curled in a sneer. "Then what was it? You just liked giving it away to any stranger who passed through our lands?"

The sarcasm in his voice was meant to draw blood. He looked at me like I was something he had found on the bottom of his shoe. He took my silence as a confession. He thought I was staying quiet because he had caught me in a lie.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous chill. "Why did you sell out the pack? Do you have any idea how many people died because of you? Our family. Our friends. What was the price, Rilla? What did he give you that was worth more than us?"

I was shaking, but I forced myself to look him in the eye. My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "What if I told you I never did any of it? What if I told you I was set up?"

He stared at me for a long time. It felt like he was trying to read the truth in my pupils, but I only saw steel and hatred in his expression. He didn't believe a word I said.

"And what about Rowena?" he asked. The question was a sudden jab. "Are you going to tell me you were framed for her death too? Weren't you the one who pulled the trigger?"

The mention of her name stopped the air in my lungs. A cold, sharp pain radiated through my ribs. It became hard to swallow.

The images hit me like a tidal wave.

The weight of the gun. The sound of the shot. Rowena falling over like a broken doll. The way the red blood spread across the floor. Her eyes were open, staring at nothing, asking me a question I could never answer. Why did I do it?

My throat felt like it was closing up. I looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. I couldn't even look at myself in a mirror, so how could I look at him?

Yes, I had done it. I had killed my best friend. I had killed the person who was like a sister to me. It was my hand on the weapon.

They had every reason to want me dead. I hated myself more than they ever could. I felt like I deserved every bit of pain they gave me. These six years of hell were a small price to pay for taking a life that mattered.

"At least you aren't lying about that. I guess there is a tiny bit of shame left in you," Royal said. He pushed a small dish toward me. "Why did you kill her, Rilla?"

I didn't answer. I just sat there while the tears tracked down my face. I kept my head low.

"If you feel even a hint of regret," he said, "then you will eat this. You need to get your strength back. We have plans for you. Soon, we are going to record a video. All five of us are going to take turns with you, and we are going to send that footage to Riley. That is how we get our revenge."

I didn't care about the food, and the thought of eating made me want to gag. But I looked at the bowl. I would do whatever they wanted. If this was the path to paying for Rowena’s life, I would walk it. I didn't know who Riley was, and it didn't matter. If being used by these five men helped them settle the score with their enemies, I would let them do it.

"I will do whatever you tell me," I whispered. "But please. Can I have some drugs instead of the food?"

I needed to go numb. I needed something to blur the edges of the memory of Rowena’s death. When I was high, I could lock the pain in a box. It was the only way to survive the images of that night.

Royal’s face turned to stone. "No drugs. You won't heal if you are spaced out all day. Romilly is coming by soon to check your stitches. Until then, you stay right here and try to get better."

I lowered my head, giving up. I should have known better than to ask. They wouldn't give me the one thing that made the world bearable. They wanted me to feel every second of this.

"Finish that bowl before I come back," he said, standing up. "It is just porridge. It should be easy on your stomach."

I looked at the meal he left. It was a simple bowl of grain. It looked harmless. But as I leaned closer, I saw a fleck of something in the mix. It was an herb I knew well. I was deathly allergic to it.

Still, I reached out and took the bowl. It felt warm in my hands. The steam rose up and hit my face, smelling like a home I no longer had. I didn't expect any kindness from them, so I wasn't surprised that even the food might be a trap.

I picked up the spoon. The porridge was steaming hot, so I had to wait a second for it to cool. I took a few bites. I couldn't taste anything. I just forced myself to swallow. I had to finish it. That was the only goal.

Suddenly, the door slammed open against the wall. Royal charged back into the room, his face pale and full of panic.

"Stop eating that right now!" he shouted, lunging toward me.